Moving On
by Sabyn1993
Summary: Jacob appears as Bella prepares to jump. She decides to give him a chance and they get pretty serious. But then after some time, Edward comes back. So, what is Bella going to do? Will she commit to her engagement with Jacob? Run away with Edward? Find out
1. Decision

I looked at the waves crashing very low beneath me. How much I wanted to hear his voice at this moment! It had been a while since I'd done anything reckless and I realized that I had missed his voice. This didn't hurt. It actually had the effect of making me believe he somehow cared whether I lived or died.

I looked at the waves and imagined how hearing his voice would feel like. I wanted him to be angry. _I _wanted to be angry. Anyone knowing the reason behind all this would question my sanity. But how could it matter, now as I prepared myself to jump, already anticipating his words.

"Bella?"

This took me by surprise as it was not the voice I was craving for. I looked around, though I'd already recognize the voice.

"Bella, this is dangerous," Jacob said.

I watched him, slightly frustrated. I wanted to hear _his _voice. I needed to hear his voice. It was unhealthy and I knew it.

"Aren't you supposed to be with the others?" I accused

"I decided to take a day off," he said. He was watching me cautiously, careful not to make any brisk movement. I was on top of a cliff, okay, but he was acting as if I was trying to commit suicide or something. "Bella, the weather is bad. We can't go cliff diving today."

As I looked at the sky now I realized he was right. Gray clouds covered the sky and it was already beginning to drizzle.

"I'd better take you home," Jacob said, placing an arm around my shoulders. We practically ran home, thought he had to steady me all the way. He prevented me from falling, this time literally. Because yes, I considered Jacob my safe harbour. I owned him my life. But could I give him my love?

We arrived at my house, soaked. I opened the door with the key under the eave and entered. I went upstairs and took out some dry clothes for myself. Then I went to Charlie's room and brought a shirt and a pair of shorts for Jacob.

"Here, take these," I told Jacob

"Thanks. Where can I, er, change?

"Here if you want, or in Charlie's room. I'm going to take a shower."

The hot water eased me only a little, though I spent almost twenty minutes in it. I had a lot to think about but I preferred to dwell on the matter when I was fully dressed. I wrapped a towel around me and stepped in my room. And almost died of shame. There, on my bed, sat Jacob, eyeing me.

"I'll wait for you, downstairs," he said quickly and was out of the room before I could react. I couldn't move for a long moment. I only stood there waiting for my heart to slow down. I couldn't believe I was stupid enough to step out of the bathroom naked. Well I wasn't naked. But add or subtract a towel. Did it matter?

I took the blue shirt and my favourite jeans that I had put on my bed and put them on. I had to go downstairs but did I have the courage to face Jacob? It would be humiliating but hadn't I been thinking about giving him a chance? Well I hadn't make my decision but Romeo had left with no intention to return, and I couldn't continue to dwell on the past. I knew it would never be the same. Those months with Edward- I had to force myself to say his name now, if I wanted to move on- had been the most wonderful of my life. I could never achieve this level of perfection. It had been so truly amazing that it now seemed only a dream. A long-gone dream. But I didn't have so much imagination; he used to tell me as much.

Yes, Edward was the love of my life. Or rather, existence. But since I didn't have that much now, I would have to accept what I was given. Jacob could be something else. My personal sun, as I used to call him. Hadn't he proved more than once that he could make up for my losses? And I couldn't live without him, that much I was sure of, if I was sure of anything at all.

I hopped out of bed and made my way downstairs.


	2. The Beginning

I hesitated on the steps. Jacob was lying on the couch, his back at me, and didn't appear to have heard me. I took all the courage I could master and continued. That was when I heard the snore. I walked hesitantly around the couch and turned to face him. His eyes were closed and he was well and truly asleep. Guilt fell on me. When he was not trying to stop Victoria from killing me, he spent his time hanging out with me. I sat down on the floor and watched him. He was so much like the Jacob he used to be before the entire werewolf thing. He was so vulnerable that I had an urge to protect him. I didn't care if he would be mad at me, or if he would look at me as if I were crazy. I couldn't stand watching him hunt Victoria.

I went in my bedroom and took my bed sheets, which I placed very carefully on him. I knew he didn't feel cold anymore, but still. I took my book of Wuthering Heights with me and sat down on the floor again. I was so engrossed in the book that at first I didn't realize that Jacob woke up.

"Bella?" He looked at me with tired eyes.

"Hey Jake," I said casually.

"Did I fall asleep?" he asked, "How much time?"

"A few hours, I guess"

"Oh," he said, rubbing his eyes, "I was tired. Er, I'm going to change, I think. These wet clothes are kind of uncomfortable."

I smiled when he took the clothes and headed to Charlie's room. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable from having sat on the floor so much time, so I went on the couch, and turned on the TV. I jumped when Jacob appeared beside me. He had become so silent recently and I hadn't had the time to get used to it. He sat down beside me as I made room for him.

"Sorry," he said, "about earlier, you know. I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay," I said, trying to ease up the tension, "at least I don't have the habit to get out naked." It worked; he laughed.

"No, I mean it. I just thought I'd wait for you upstairs."

"You're forgiven," I said. "If you promise never to do it again," I warned.

"I can't promise you that"

I laughed. I switched on to a movie and would perhaps have been able to concentrate on it if Jacob weren't looking at me every few seconds.

"What?" I asked, having caught him looking at me again. He looked away, embarrassed.

"Nothing," he murmured.

Then after a few minutes, he looked at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Bella…"

I turned my face towards him and something in his expression or in his eyes told me at once that the time had finally arrived. Hesitantly, as if still deciding whether or not to do it, he placed his hand on the side of my face. I almost considered backing away, but I would be a fool to think that it would have no consequence. So I stayed where I was, watching the confusion and shyness in his eyes fade away, until finally, he approached his face towards me. As his lips approached mine, my decision was made. I would give him what was left of me, even though it was not much. But as soon as they touched, my will faltered. I felt that I was betraying my love for Edward, as well as Edward himself. But he had wished for me to move on, and besides, who was I betraying apart from myself?

I loved Jacob; more than my own life. All I could do was pray that it was enough.

His lips were warm, and they move tentatively against mine. In the meantime, his other hand had been placed at the back of my neck, taking advantage of the fact that I wasn't pulling back. I kissed him back gently at first, and his lips pressed harder, enthusiast by my response. His lips tasted of honey and to my own surprise, I found myself wanting more. My arms locked around his neck and I pulled him over me on the couch. He pulled back just a little to look at me, and his eyes were hungry. His lips found mine again and his right hand brushed my hair from my face. His lips left mine and brushed across my cheek and my ear, making me shiver. "I love you."

And then I froze.

Jacob noticed my stillness and sighed. He pulled himself in a sitting position just in time before the door opened and Charlie walked in.

"Hey, dad," I called, jumping off from the couch at once. It was then that I saw the tears streaming along his cheeks. "Oh, dad." I went to hug him. He hugged me back for a moment, and said, "It's going to be hard," his eyes darted on Jacob, "Hey Jacob."

"Hi Charlie. My dad left with you?"

"Yes," he said, "Billy should be home by now." And he left the room.

"I'm headed to see my dad," Jacob told me. He looked at me for a moment, "see you, Bells."

He began to walk away. I thought about that for a moment. If I let him walk away, he wouldn't know of my decision. And I might have to start again.

"Jake?" I called out.

He turned to face me.

"Love you, too," I said.

He smiled and in one stride he was in front of me. He took my face in his hands and kissed me for a brief moment.

"Thank you," he murmured, and walked through the door.


	3. Passion

JPOV

I walked out of the room, smiling broadly. I was so happy I could sing. Well it wouldn't help stop the stares I got on the street, but it didn't matter what people thought. I was way too happy to care. I resisted the urge to go back there again. I took off Charlie's clothes and tied them to the string attached to my feet- Charlie probably wouldn't be pleased if I burst his clothes in shreds- and phased. The voices began everywhere at once. They all took in the news of Bella and me.

_Wow! Congratulations, man! _Seth thought.

_At last! _Paul thought.

Leah was grumbling something about being the only one single now, so I didn't pay attention to her.

_Good job, Jake! _Embry and Quil called at the same time.

After the congratulations had stopped, Sam informed me of what had happened in my absence. They had been on the point of catching the red-head bloodsucker this time too, but fast as she was, she had outrun them and had taken off swimming. I shuddered at the thought of what might have happened if Bella had jumped. I'd been worried of the storm and now the bloodsucker. Well, we would have to be more prudent from now on.

After discussing strategy with the pack, I ran off to my place to see Billy. He was sleeping in his room so I decided to do the same. I went to lie on my bed too short for me and closed my eyes. But sleep didn't come; what did come was the image of Bella. So I resumed some of my little fantasies which included Bella, me and a couch.

BPOV

That night I lay on my bed, a smile on my face. This was it. He knew how I felt. This was not at all what I had expected, though. I expected to feel guilty and to have to force myself to react to his touch. But it was the contrary. My body responded for me. Not that I could blame it for it. Jacob was very attractive. More than that. He was…sexy. And he felt the same way about me, though why anyone would find me attractive I couldn't comprehend. Edward crept in my thoughts but I pushed him back. I was…happy. Happy because I would surely see Jacob tomorrow. Happy because our relationship was more than friendship now. Happy because I loved him. Happy because, strange as it may seem, he loved me back.

JPOV

I hadn't been able to sleep, although I was exhausted. I walked down the beach, trying to clear my head, and watched the people for some time. Then I lay down and couldn't stop myself from imagining being with Bella once more.

_I turn around to see Bella watching me. One look at her and I was lost. She was wearing a small, orange bikini and I couldn't stop staring. That colour looked so good on her pale skin. She had her hair loose on her shoulders and her hands on her hips. _

"_Hey Bella," I managed to say._

_She walked towards me and sat down next to me. Then she turned to face me with a sexy look._

"_How are you today?" She asked me._

"_Fine and you?"_

_Bella approached her face and whispered "very good." She kissed me at the corner of my lips, put both hands on my chest and pushed me down so that I was lying on the sand. Her right hand caressed my arm and she began teasing me with her lips. I wrapped my hands around her waist and pulled myself on top of her. She knotted her fingers in my hair, pulled me closer and kissed me hard. Her lips parted and I could feel her hot breath on my tongue. I trace the tip of my tongue on her lower lip, teasing, and sucked it. Then my lips move to her neck, making her shiver. I went even lower, on her shoulders. Her breath was just as ragged as mine, maybe even more. I went lower…_

"Jacob?" Bella's voice called, snapping me out of my reverie.

BPOV

I walked slowly, enjoying the sun and the light breeze. The sun was unusual for Forks, but as long as it stayed, who was I to question the reason? Maybe it knew that there were not longer vampires here and it could come out more often. Maybe it thought that I deserved some sunshine in my life. I smiled at the ironic thought. Whatever the reason, I was here to take profit of it as best as I could. I was looking out at the sea, thinking that I still wanted to go cliff-diving, when I heard my name. I looked around but saw no one. Then suddenly, I saw someone lying on the sand not far from me. After one careful look, I recognized him.

"Jacob?" I called.

He probably didn't hear me because he didn't make any move. I hesitated a moment, then went to sit next to him. I lightly traced my fingertips on the back of his hand.

"Jacob?"

Suddenly his eyes flew open. He looked confused for half a second and then he sat up. "Hey Bella, what are you doing here?

"Just passing by," I said, "and I heard you say my name."

"I was…sleeping, I guess," He watched his hand as he spoke.

"You were dreaming of me? Wow that's flattering," I said, and I _was _flattered. Then I thought of something. "Well depending on what you were dreaming."

"I don't know. I don't remember," he said too quickly. I hid a smile. I was about to push the matter further but then I realized that maybe I didn't want to hear it. God knows what he's been dreaming about. So I changed the subject.

"What are _you_ doing here? Billy put you out?

He laughed. "Not really. Though I'd like to see the old man try this," he looked at me, "What are you doing today?"

"Well I'm supposed to do my homework. I'm getting far behind; I'm sure you are too."

He was about to reply when we saw a group of people walking towards us. Mike was in lead, followed by Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, Eric, Ben, Angela and some I didn't recognize. I remembered vaguely Mike saying something about a day trip to the beach. Well they probably haven't seen us yet.

"Let's get out of here before they see us, okay?" I told Jacob.

"I think they already have," Jacob answered, "but they don't have to know that _we_ saw them."

"How..," I started to ask but he planted his mouth on mine, and I saw the others' eyes widen. Still kissing me, he captured me in his arms in front of the shocked eyes of my friends, and led me away. If the others had been surprised before, now they were stunned. I expected him to release me as soon as we were out of view but he pulled me closer to his chest and kissed me harder. My hands traced along his arms and before I knew it, we were lying on the sand and he was on top of me. I could feel his hot body pressed against mine, pinning me to the ground, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to pull back. So I did the one thing I didn't know I could possibly have the courage to do. I didn't pull back, and instead, I kissed him back, forgetting where I was, and who I was.

My arms were around his neck, pulling him even closer. I was desperate. I couldn't get enough. His right hand was in my hair, and his left suddenly moved to my waist under my shirt. His hand was so blazing hot that I thought I would burn. His mouth left mine and he started tracing kisses along my neck. I moaned. And this small sound brought me back to reality. My eyes flew open.

"Jake…" My voice was so shaky that it would have been embarrassing if I weren't already making out with a guy on the beach. My breathing was uneven and my heart was racing.

"Yes, baby?" His mouth had moved to my shoulder and at that time, I was gasping for air. I removed my hands from his neck, and put them to his chest, pushing him.

"No wait."

He pulled back and looked at me, confused.

"What?"

_Did I have to explain? _I thought, _we were on a beach, for crying out loud!_

"We're in a public place." He looked around and gasped. I nearly laughed.

"Oh."

He pulled back and helped me back to my feet.

"Thanks," I said, my breathing still a bit uneven.

"I'm sorry. I got carried away."

"Yeah, me too." He smiled and pulled me closer. He kissed the corner of my mouth, moving his hand ever so slowly across my back.

"Maybe we could continue to get carried away at my place." He traced his thumb lightly across my lips and they parted involuntarily. "Or yours."

I took his hand in mine and kissed it.

"I don't think so."

He laughed. "Whatever you want. Do you want to go to Emily's, now?"

"Yes," I smiled, "Good idea."


	4. The Past Comes Rushing Back

We went to Emily's and we spent a nice day there. The boys didn't stop congratulating me, and for once, it didn't bother me. What surprised me even more was the fact that the love that always emanated from Emily and Sam didn't affect me the way it used to. Now I could stay in the same room as them, and watch them looking at each other with adoring eyes. Maybe it was because I seemed to be looking at Jacob with the same eyes.

I went home early due to the great amount of homework I still hadn't done. I was getting used to this routine: going to school, spending time with Jacob, going to Emily's, sometimes at the beach. But of course what I wasn't getting used to was the homework. Who could get used to that?

I'd already done my English essay and my Biology exercises. All I was left with was Trigonometry. I groaned. Trigonometry. Delaying it for some time, I went downstairs and took a bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator. I poured some juice in a glass and was about to go upstairs again when something caught my eyes. There was a note near the phone.

Angela called. Told to phone her back before tonight.

I sat on the couch and dialed Angela's number. She answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi Angela. It's Bella."

"Hey Bella! Thanks for calling back. I was wondering if you would come with me to Port Angeles tomorrow after school. I had planned to go with my cousin but she cancelled today."

"Um, yes of course. I'm free."

"Thank you Bella, you're saving me!"

"No problem. See you tomorrow."

"Bye!"

I left the couch and was heading upstairs when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella, I've been calling for at least five minutes, and the phone was busy."

"Jessica. Um, yeah, I was on the phone."

"With whom? She asked, "Jacob Black? Sexy, by the way."

I gulped. Here comes the beach scandal.

"No Jessica. Not Jacob."

"We were on the beach today, you know. Me, Mike, Lauren, Ben, Tyler, well everyone. We saw you."

"Um, I didn't see you…" why did I give her my number in the first place?

"Yes, I guessed that. You were too busy," she said icily. When I didn't reply she said, "So you got over Edward Cullen?"

"Yes, I'm over him."

"I'm glad. Let me tell you, everyone thought it was beyond ridiculous. I warned you the very first day, but you wouldn't…" she babbled on. In the meantime the tears had started falling and the hole ripped me open once more.

"Jessica, I've got to go." And I hung up.

After so much time, and after I was doing so well, I had to fall apart again. Leave it to Jessica to rip apart what was left of my life. I put my arms across my chest, trying my best to hold myself together. The tears continued to fall and soon my vision was so blurred that I couldn't see. So I stopped trying to see. I closed my eyes, fighting back the memories that threatened to resurface.

"Bella? Bella! Wake up!" Charlie's voice resonated from very far. I tried to open my eyes but the lights were so bright that I closed them right away. At last I found my voice and spoke, "Could you," I cleared my throat, "could you turn off the lights?" I waited. I risked a glance and noticed the room was dark. I sighed. "Thank you."

My back was aching and I was very uncomfortable. Then I realized I was lying on the floor, curled in a ball. I got up quickly. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, _I cursed myself. One look at Charlie told me I would have to curse myself much more than that before I could feel better. I could see the hurt in his eyes, though he tried to hide it.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes, dad, thank you. What time is it?"

"About nine."

"I've still got some homework to do."

"Okay. See you, Bells"

I went upstairs and let myself fall on the bed. _Stupid, stupid!_ I cursed myself again. Poor Charlie. He didn't have to suffer with me. I took my copybook and continued my homework. Trigonometry was boring…and annoying. But as the same time compulsory. I sighed. I finished it all in one hour and was preparing for bed when Charlie called from downstairs. I stayed at the top of the stairs and called, "Yes?"

"The phone."

"Who is it?" I asked, already having decided not to answer.

"Jacob." I sighed in relief. I walked down the stairs and took the phone from a curious Charlie. He didn't leave the room, pretending to watch TV. Well, that's what you get for scaring your dad.

"Hello?"

"Guess who?" he joked.

I laughed. "Charlie told me"

"Oh Charlie," he groaned. "I told him not to. Break the fun."

I smiled, "Does it matter?"

"Not really," his voice was soft suddenly, "I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Well goodnight, then." His mood became light and joking again.

"Will you dream of me?"

"Maybe. I'll try."

"Are you going to school tomorrow?"

"I almost considered skipping," I glanced at Charlie and his eyes were still on TV. Maybe he weren't listening after all. Yeah, well. When chickens get golden rings. "But I'll have to face them one day or the other. And yeah, Jessica already called, asking for the news."

"Yeah, I bet." He was silent for a moment. "Anyway, goodnight, Bells"

"Goodnight, Jake."

After I hung up, I saw Charlie watching me. I looked at him, trying as best as I could to pass the message that I was alright through my face. He didn't seem convinced.

"What did he want?" He asked.

"Just telling me goodnight." He eyed me for a moment, seeming to hesitate.

"Are you two together?"

I blushed. Sure, I would have had to tell him someday, but not like this. I was not prepared. Should I lie? Well, he would probably find out, so what's the use? I decided to go with the truth. And at least he would stop worrying.

"Yes."

"Since when? Why didn't you tell me?" he tried to sound like the father but I knew he was glad.

"Since yesterday only."

"That's good, Bells. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah," I forced a smile, "See you, dad."

"Goodnight, Bells."

**Please Review. It makes me update sooner. Please please! Thank you in advance.**


	5. Port Angeles

I woke up the next morning with tears in my eyes. I don't even remember having cried. I quickly wiped them off and got out of bed. It was too bad that the crying session had returned. But at least the dreaming-and-screaming had stopped for good. I went into the bathroom, took a quick shower and brushed my teeth absent-mindedly. I went into my closet and took out a pair of jeans and a gray shirt.

I realized that I really needed some new clothes. This trip to Port Angeles was the perfect occasion to renew my wardrobe_. Alice would have been pleased_, I thought grimly. I bit my lip and forced back the tears that threatened to fall. I got into my truck and drove to school, just as the rain started to fall.

The day dragged on. I was really excited to go to Port Angeles today. I was glad that I seemed to have regained my pleasure for things, and since I didn't know if it was going to last, I intended to take advantage of it as long as it did. I met Angela at lunch and she told me that we would go in her car, so I had to bring my truck home after school, and she followed me there.

We got into her car and she turned on the stereo. I was glad once again that I had gotten over my aversion to music. Well not completely, but I now could listen to music without fighting the urge to cry. His music was so much more beautiful than anything else I would ever listen to**. **_Baby one more time _by Britney Spears was playing and I felt myself smile. I used to love this music. So I didn't think. I turned the volume higher and started to sing.

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oh baby, baby_

_How was I supposed to know_

_That something wasn't right here_

_Oh baby, baby_

_I shouldn't have let you go_

_And now you're out of sight yeah_

Angela stared at me, surprised, and then she started singing too.

_Show me how you want it to be_

_Tell me baby_

'_Cause I need to know now what we've got_

_My loneliness is killing me_

_I must confess, I still believe_

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind_

_Give me a sign_

_Hit me baby one more time_

_Oh baby, baby_

_The reason I breathe is you_

_Boy you got me blinded_

_Oh baby, baby _

_There's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_That's not the way I planned it_

_Show me how you want it to be_

_Tell me baby,_

'_Cause I need to know now what we've got_

_My loneliness is killing me_

_I must confess, I still believe_

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind_

_Give me a sign_

_Hit me baby one more time_

_Oh baby, baby_

_Oh baby, baby_

_Ah, yeah, yeah_

_How was I supposed to know_

_Oh pretty baby_

_I shouldn't have let you go_

_I must confess that my loneliness_

_Is killing me now_

_Don't you know I still believe_

_That you will be here_

_And give me a sign_

_Hit me baby one more time_

_My loneliness is killing me_

_I must confess, I still believe_

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind_

_Give me a sign_

_Hit me baby one more time_

_I must confess that my loneliness_

_Is killing me now_

_Don't you know I still believe_

_That you will be here_

_And give me a sign _

_Hit me baby one more time_

We looked at each other for a moment, and then we started to laugh.

"I had not idea you could sing!" Angela accused.

"I didn't know you could either," I said. "You know what? We should form a group. Just the two of us," I started laughing again.

"If you say so," Angela said, "but we won't sing in public."

"Of course," I agreed.

We arrived in Port Angeles forty-five minutes later and Angela introduced me to a shop she knew. They had an impressive amount of clothes and shoes, and I didn't know where to look. Angela, however, knew exactly what she wanted. So I helped her choose when she couldn't decide and, now and then, I would see something I would want and I would buy it. I bought two pair of jeans, two skirts, a blue blouse and a small bracelet Angela choose for me. We finished all the shopping at about half past six.

"Do you want to go to dinner?" I asked her. We could go straight home but it was about one-hour drive, and my stomach was already beginning to protest.

"Yes, I'm kinda hungry."

We stopped out of the shop and began our walk to the restaurant, when I saw a figure about ten meters from us. The reason I paid attention to it was because it was a figure I've been trying to forget for months without much success. The woman-the vampire-was standing, back towards us, and I would recognize the cat-like manner everywhere. I gulped. She hadn't seen me yet. But she soon would. As if on cue, the vampire turned to face me, and I almost fainted. Almost. But I didn't. My body wouldn't even spare me all that was going to happen. Instead my body froze and my mind stayed more alert than ever. She ran to my side at human pace. Was it to torture me, or was it because my mind was working in slow motion? At that time it didn't matter because what only mattered was the fact that she was back and that no one was there to prevent her from killing me.

Victoria


	6. When You're Gone

APOV

I woke up, feeling like I've been running miles barefoot before stumbling and falling on a hard, large rock. My whole body was sore and my head was hurting like hell. I was lying at the side of the street, on the ground and blood was dripping from the back of my head. I stood up, steadying myself on the wall of a building and gasped as I looked at my clothes. My jeans were torn at the side and my shirt was covered with blood. I looked around me and it took me a moment to realize that I was in Port Angeles. Then the memories came flooding back as I sat down on the street once again. The memories were blurry. I remembered coming to Port Angeles with Bella. BELLA! We were walking when I saw her froze. Then it all happened so quickly that I didn't remember half of it. A woman running at a very high speed that I almost didn't see her. She grabbed Bella who was still frozen. I came to Bella's side and I felt something hard knocking down my head with such force that I fell halfway across the street. The last memory I had was the woman taking Bella away, just as my eyes closed.

I stood up again and walked to where I remembered parking my car. I stumbled a few times but I managed not to fall. My feet were hurting with every step I took and it seemed like someone was hitting my head with a hammer every few seconds. I was crossing the road when I stumbled once again and my right shoe flew out of my feet. I bent down to retrieve it when I heard a loud honk. I looked up to the sound and bright lights attacked my eyes. The driver of the car honked again as I prepared myself for the impact.

CPOV

I looked down at my dinner and sighed. Since Bella had gone to Port Angeles I had had to cook for myself. I had cooked eggs and bacon, the only thing I succeeded. Sure, I had been cooking for myself for 17 years before Bella arrived, but now that I was used to her excellent cooking abilities, it was hard go back eating like I was before. Thank God she hadn't inherited Renee's creative but not-always-edible style of cooking. I quickly ate dinner, drank a glass of water and turned on the TV. I went to lie on the couch and made myself comfortable. The match that was playing wasn't very interesting but I had nothing else to do. I got more and more bored as the players tried to score a goal without any success. My eyelids were heavy and I didn't fight to stay awake. Bella would wake me up when she arrived.

I was dreaming about the first time Renee and I had taken Bella to the beach. She was still a baby but she enjoyed the sea a lot.

"_Isabella, don't throw water on your mother," I laughed, and she turned to look at me, and splashed me. "Oh, not me too!"_

_I took her up and dried her with a towel, as she wriggled in my arms._

_Dring, drriinng!!!_

I looked around and the whole surrounding had changed. I was in my living room, on the couch, the TV still on, and the phone was ringing. I stood up and glanced at the clock: 3 a.m. I groaned and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Chief Swan?"

"Yes, who is it?"

"It's Angela's father. Angela and your daughter had gone to Port Angeles together, and I just had a call from the hospital. Angela had an accident."

"Is she alright? And what about Bella?"

"I don't know; Angela was alone."

"But…," I began to stutter, "th-they were together. And wh-where is…" I couldn't continue. I began to feel dizzy. The phone fell from my hand as I ran upstairs. I opened Bella's door and entered. The tears began to fall and my heart stopped as I realized she wasn't there.

JPOV

I watched as Sam tried to calm Charlie on the phone. I knew he thought that he would have to do the same with me after he hung up, but I wouldn't wait. I didn't have to; I've already heard everything. I ran outside, tied my shorts to my feet and phased. Then I began to run to Port Angeles, where Bella had last been. Angela was in the hospital in a pretty bad state. She had been run over by a car, and she had some broken ribs or something like that. It didn't matter in what state she was. She was alive. Bella could be dead. I immediately erased that alternative. She was alive. Bella couldn't be dead. After so much time, and after she was starting to go well. And now this. I wondered what effect this might have on her. I could only hope I would find her before too much damage was done and before she was killed.

I heard Seth behind me.

_Hey wait for me; my legs aren't as long as yours._

I continued to run. I didn't have a minute to spare. I knew the entire pact would be coming to Port Angeles to search for Bella and I was relieved.

_Where do you think Victoria took her? _Seth asked me. I snarled at the name.

_I don't know Seth, but I've got to find her._

We arrived in Port Angeles and I immediately caught her scent. I could smell the bloodsucker too. To think that just hours ago she had been there and now… She could have taken her everywhere on the planet. Yes, but I was a werewolf, and that's my girl she had kidnapped. I would search every single town on earth if I had to. And I would find her.

APOV

"…found her yet. Practically all the town searching…Yes."

"Charlie's going crazy."

"How much more time?"

"She should have been awake by now, normally. But it depends."

Someone sighed. I couldn't distinguish one voice from another. They were all alike. And my head hurt so much, I wondered why I wasn't dying. I felt someone take my hand and I wondered who it was. I opened my eyes without much difficulty although my eyelids were still heavy. Ben was sitting in a chair beside the bed and he was looking at my hand. His eyes were tired and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. I pressed his hand a little, and he looked at me, relieved.

"Oh Angie," he said. I tried to smile but my face hurt. He understood and he smiled. My mother rushed to my side and took my other hand.

"Oh Angela! I'm so glad you're awake, sweetheart."

"How are you feeling?" Ben asked.

"It…hurts," I managed to say.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk. I'm sorry."

I managed to smile this time. Then I remembered something.

"Bella?"

Ben and my mom exchanged a look. It had me worried. Surely, they had found her by now? It was my mom who replied.

"They haven't found her yet. You remember what happened?"

"I…" I searched my mind. Yes, I remembered it all. Bella had been kidnapped. I woke up and she was gone. Then I had gone to find my car, and I remembered bright lights and a car hitting me. Bella… a tear escaped my eyes.

"She has been kidnapped by that woman…" I told them.

"Angela should rest now," another voice said. I scanned the room and saw the doctor coming towards me. "You should be tired even after sleeping so much."

I nodded. "How much time…I slept?"

"Three days. It's Friday."

"Oh." I had missed almost a week of school, and I was going to miss even more. And Bella, God knows what happened to her. Three days and they still hadn't found her. I shouldn't have brought her with me to Port Angeles.

"Go to sleep," Ben told me, "We'll talk later." He bent down and kissed my cheek. His lips felt so warm.

"I love you," I whispered. He smiled and I closed my eyes, before drifting to sleep once more.

JPOV

Saturday arrived quicker than I would have thought possible, though time seemed to drag by. It had been five days now. Five long, interminable days, and yet I was still alive. I had no idea how I managed to survive without seeing Bella, without seeing her smile as soon as she saw me, without her punching me every time I laughed at her, without her hand in mine. And yet I survived. Hope did it. Hope that she was still alive. Hope that her heart was still beating.

I was still following their scent, but they kept on moving, as if the bloodsucker knew I was coming. I wondered if she had any special talent. I sincerely hoped not. We weren't searching in groups, though most of the time there was someone with me. Now and then I would come across someone from the pack and we would stick together for some time. Today I was with Sam and he was as anxious as me to find Bella. He was mostly relieved to be far from Charlie. Poor Charlie. He was going crazy. At least, we had a clue where to look, whereas he knew nothing of who had taken Bella, and he had absolutely no idea where too look for her. I talked to him only once since all this happened. Not only because I was busy, but because he wasn't very good company. He was depressed and he felt useless. His only daughter had been kidnapped. Poor Charlie. So I couldn't stay with him. It only made matters worse.

It was very windy today. There were gray clouds in the sky and it would soon rain. I was in my human form because we were in a public place. The wind blew forcefully once again and a newspaper flew right in my face. I sighed and took it in my hands. In the front place there was a large photo of a building with gray walls and in a very dirty state. It must be very old; the walls were already falling apart. Below the photo was an article, saying that the building was going to be imploded today at ten o'clock so that a skyscraper could be built. I was sure there was going to be a lot of people watching. I looked at my watch: twenty five minutes to ten. It would have been fun to watch if I didn't have more urgent matters at hand.

I continued to follow the bloodsucker's scent. Bella's scent was along with hers but it was faint. What did that mean? Everywhere I had been, the bloodsucker's scent had been overwhelming, whereas Bella's…

Realization hit me like a bullet. They weren't moving. Only the bloodsucker was. It was only a trap. A trap to make me go round and round, searching. I cried out in rage. She was making a fool of me. People stared but I didn't pay attention. I concentrated on Bella's scent; only on hers. I started walking, and Sam looked at me curiously, but he followed. I could smell Bella. It was getting stronger and stronger. I was so concentrated that I didn't realize that I was colliding with people on the street. I looked around and saw that a large crowd of people had gathered nearby. I still didn't pay attention because Bella's scent was stronger than it had been in days. Bella was here. I arrived in front of a building with gray, falling walls, and realization hit me twice harder than it did last time. The people gathered were there to watch the implosion which would take place in fifteen minutes. In fifteen minutes, this building would turn to ashes. And Bella was inside.

**Don't forget to review please, 'cause I need to know what you think about it, so that I can write more. Thank you in advance!**


	7. If I Said Goodbye

**Hello Sara, you reviewed on chapter 9 telling that chapter 6 and chapter 7 were the same. I really hope you come on this page again and get this message. I'm terribly sorry; I was doing some changes in my story recently, and I think there has been some problem. I put the same chapters twice. I'm really grateful to you. Thank you for telling me and just not letting this pass. This is a terrible mistake. Thank you! I've changed this chapter and I'm going to check the others for mistakes of this sort, and if so I'm going to rectify them. Thank you once more for letting me know. **

I ran towards the building. At the entrance several guards stopped me.

"This building is about to be imploded, young man. Are you crazy?" One bulky man asked me. He had to be in his mid-forties and his face was tightened with worry. I could only hope he was compassionate enough to hear what I had to say.

"There's a person in there," Sam told them, before I could even open my mouth.

"There's been no one in there for weeks; we've made sure of that," the man replied patiently. Too patiently. We didn't have time to patient.

"There's a girl in there," Sam was saying calmly. Sometimes I just hated the way he took everything so calmly, as if nothing ever upset him. So I stopped listening and I made my way across the guards, running as they tried to stop me. They seemed annoyed that we were doubting their competence.

"It's going to be imploded in less than ten minutes, whether he's outside or not," I heard a guard threaten. I didn't mind. If I was still in there in ten minutes, then I would have failed and if I failed, then I didn't care whether I lived or died. To be completely honest, I had a slight preference towards death. But I couldn't dwell on that matter now. Bella was in here and I had to save her. The building was even in a worse state inside. It smelt of rust; but the most powerful scent here was Bella's. I could hear Sam behind me, and I wished he hadn't come. Two lives were enough if I failed. I phased and continued to run, when I heard the voice.

"Sweet, sweet Bella. I'm almost sad this is going to end like this. We had so much fun and now it…oh we've got company, my Bella."

Sam had joined me by now, and he gave me a meaningful look. We could do it, but we had to take care of the bloodsucker first if we wanted Bella to have a chance at escape. We quickly arrived where they were and I couldn't stop myself from glancing at Bella. I knew it might be a great mistake, that one second of inattention could jeopardize all our lives, but I couldn't help myself. Her hands and feet were tied down by iron chains and she seemed unaware of our presence. She still looked ahead of her, and she didn't look up to us, or anything. She wasn't moving, though she was still breathing. She wasn't in the clothes she left with. She was still wearing the same jeans but the shirt wasn't the same. This one was sleeveless and we could easily see the bruises on her arms. Whatever the bloodsucker did to her, she was going to pay for it. That I'd make sure of.

I looked back at the bloodsucker and everything started at once. I saw the flash of victory in her eyes and I flung myself at her, but she was quick and I found myself grabbing air. She came from behind me and scratched my arm with her nails.

Sam was on her at once and was ripping her flesh off. She tried to fling him off her, but Sam had a firm grip on her and wasn't about to let go. I was standing too close and she grabbed my back. Obviously I shook her off and Sam with it.

I realized my mistake too late, when Sam crashed into the wall, and she advanced towards me again.

She crouched and sprang but I moved out of the way, and took profit of the fact that she was a little disoriented to dig my teeth in her neck. I heard the crowd getting impatient outside, and I lost my concentration for a quarter of a second. That's all it took for the roles to be reversed and for her to be on top of me.

She moved closer and her exposed teeth moved to my throat. I realized she was going to bite me, and tried to shake her off, trying to remember what a bloodsucker's venom did to a werewolf. But her teeth kept approaching.

Then suddenly her weight was no longer on me and I was able to get up. The last thing I saw was Sam ripping her head off before I went to Bella's side. She was still unaware of my presence, and she didn't react as I mauled the iron chains, and phased back.

Then I pulled her to her feet and took her in my arms as Sam phased. I ran, carrying her with Sam at my side as we bean our run against the clock. The crowd began to scream outside, as I forced my feet to go quicker. It would have been much easier if I was phased, but how could I rush out in front of the eyes of hundreds of people in my wolf form, carrying a girl on my back? So it would have to do.

"Five!"

The crowd screamed outside and my heart raced as I forced my feet to go quicker.

"Four!"

We ran but the entrance didn't appear. I felt Sam getting desperate at my side.

"Three!"

I ran faster than I had in all my life. I thought about Bella. I had to get her out of here. If only I could move quicker!

"Two!"

The entrance appeared, God bless it. We ran, but in relief this time, though the fight wasn't won yet. We finally left the building and ran outside, as Bella still didn't make a move in my arms.

"One!"

I saw the shocked eyes of the spectators, as some cried out in panic. We had to get at a safe distance. We ran and ran, and during this last second, I thought about how my life would be if I succeeded in getting both of us safe. I wouldn't ever let her go after this. Victoria was dead, of course, and she wouldn't ever be able to get out before the implosion even if she wasn't, but that didn't change a thing. I would never, ever let her out of my sight again. She needed me too much. And I needed her even more.

The building imploded with the loudest sound I've heard in all my life, and we were fortunate…and unfortunate. Fortunate because we were at as safe distance so that we didn't turn into ashes along with it. And unfortunate because the windows of the building exploded and the glass flew in the air. Pieces of glass danced in the air in front of the still-stunned eyes of the relieved spectators as they realized they were too far for the glass to reach them. Sam and I were still running when a piece of glass shot into Bella's right foot. I looked at her, alarmed, but her eyes were far away, unfocused. I didn't stop as I passed the crowd, and people stared but I ran home.

I lay her on the couch and took out the glass, which was, luckily, not too deep in her flesh, as Sam phoned Charlie to tell him we had found Bella. He arrived fifteen minutes later, and during this time, I tried in vain to cause reaction in Bella. She was in shock, and I, of all people knew that Bella didn't go in shock easily. I wondered in fury again what had happened to her during those five days, and cursed the day that bloodsuckers crossed her path.

As Charlie entered, he went directly to his daughter's side and took her hand.

"Bella, sweetheart, are you okay?" he looked in her eyes and he didn't see the hint of recognition he was supposed to see.

"Bella?" he caressed her cheek and he finally got a reaction from her. Only it was the wrong reaction. She flinched away from him, and let out a small cry. She stared shaking uncontrollably and I met Charlie's anxious glare.

"What is wrong with her?"

"May I?" I asked Charlie, holding a hand towards Bella. Charlie hesitated, unsure what to do. Then he moved out of the way, and I went to sit on the couch. I took Bella in my arms as sobs shook her frail body. We stayed like that for a long moment until she finally became calmed. I rubbed her back as her arms tightened around me. _Bella, my Bella,_ I thought.

Sam told us that he was going to tell the others that Bella was alright, and left. I sighed in relief as Bella pulled back her arms and put her head on my shoulder lightly. Charlie, seeing that she seemed to have calmed down, came back and took her hand, hesitantly. He was scared she might react badly. He looked at Bella hopefully, and asked, "Are you alright?"

Bella simply nodded without meeting his eyes.

"Bella, love, are you tired?" I asked.

She nodded once more.

"Come then, you can sleep in my room. Can you walk?" I took her hand and helped her up. "I'll be right back," I told Charlie.

I put my arm around her waist and walked her to my room. She sat on the bed, looked up at me and spoke for the first time.

"Can I have another shirt?"

"Sure," I said, and wondered what memories the one she was wearing brought back. I went in my closet and pulled out a shirt that was too small for me, and gave it to her.

She tried to take off her shirt and sighed.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned, and I went to sit on the bed.

"Can you help me?" she pointed at the bruises on her arms. They seemed like cuts.

"Yes, of course." I took her shirt off gently. I couldn't stop but stare. Not only because before my eyes was what I've been dreaming of constantly for almost one year, but because there was the same cuts on her stomach , as well as the same bruise she had on her palm. I touched it lightly and it was cold. Fury boiled in me. The bloodsucker had bit her.

"Bella, love, what happened to you?" I whispered. I looked at her, and she was putting the shirt I gave back on, ignoring the pain in her arms. Then she lay on the bed and looked at me. She held up one hand. I took it and she patted the space beside her. I lay down and put my arms around her shoulder as she laid her cheek against my chest.

We stayed like that for a long moment, and when I was sure she had fallen asleep, I got out of bed and went to see Charlie. He was sitting in a chair in the living room and was deep in thought.

"She's asleep," I told him and his head snapped up. I went to sit down on the couch and explained to him where I had found her, emphasizing on the fact that I had a 'feeling' she was inside. I kept the fight with the bloodsucker unknown of course, but other than that, I told everything and I saw by the look in his eyes, that he deduced Bella had lived a nightmare there, both physically and emotionally.


	8. It's Complicated

BPOV

I woke up and something was different. I opened my eyes and realized it was the sun. It had been a while since I'd been woken up by the sun. I felt very comfortable; it had been a while since I'd slept in a bed too. I forced back the memories I knew was coming. I was safe now, and all I wanted was to forget. I pressed my face to the pillow and I felt two arms encircling my waist. I jumped and my heart stopped. The hands were removed at once.

"It's only me. It's okay," I heard Jacob say. I breathed a sigh of relief as I waited for my heart to restart. Jacob waited patiently and then came back to sit on the bed.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's fine,"

I sat up on the bed and looked at him. He looked anxious, and somehow a bit hesitant.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Just worried about you." He looked at me with piercing eyes, and I knew the questions would soon arrive. But I was not ready to answer. Not yet. Not ever. I just wanted to forget.

"I'm fine," I forced myself to smile at him, so that he would know I meant it. He didn't seem convinced, but he seemed to understand my reluctance, and he didn't press it further. I was grateful for that and I sat closer to him. I shouldn't be afraid. Jacob loved me and he wouldn't hurt me. He took my hand and kissed it. This made me smile. He was always so sweet. I put my hand on the side of his face and kissed him.

There was no passion or urgency. It was just to make him know everything was alright. He kissed me back, softly, a bit hesitant, and it reminded me of our first kiss. I remembered his honey-taste lips and realized he tasted even sweeter. He took the hand he was still holding and put it around his neck, as I felt the kiss change into something a little more passionate, and I shivered.

He kissed me a little more and then pulled back. I put my head in his lap and his hand caressed my cheek. I forced my eyes closed and raked my brain for something to talk about. Something which wouldn't make me remember.

"Where is Charlie?" I asked. I remembered he was here when I fell asleep.

"At work. He wanted to take the day off, so that he could spend it with you. I told him you'd be okay," he replied. "He's very worried, you know…and I am too."

"You don't have to be," I repeated, "I'm fine, really."

He began to play with my hair.

"And Angela?" I asked.

"Still in hospital."

I sat up. "What?"

"Oh yeah…she was hit by a car that day."

I remembered Victoria throwing Angela across the street. Her head hitting the wall…

"I have to see her," I told Jacob and I got out of bed, "But I have to take a shower first."

"You want to take it her?" Jacob asked.

"Hmm… I'll need clothes. I'd better head home." I looked back at him and he was blushing. He looked away quickly. Jacob, blushing? Wow.

"I'll take you home," he said still not meeting my eyes.

JPOV

I watched Bella's face sadden as I mentioned Angela. Her eyes were unfocused for a moment, and a tear fell on her cheek, but she didn't seem to notice it.

"I have to see her," she said. She got off the bed, "but I have to take a shower first."

I blushed as I imagined her naked in my bathroom.

"You want to take it here?" I asked. I saw her think it through, as she bit her lower lip.

"Hmm… I'll need clothes. I'd better head home." She looked at me then, and I looked away, as I realized I was still blushing.

I'll take you home," I told her and we walked over to my car. On the way, she seemed deep in thought, so I didn't say anything, even though I wanted to. The only thing I wanted to do was to take her in my arms and plead her to tell me what happened to her during those five days. It had been five interminable days for me and I wondered how long it had felt for her. I wanted her to tell me, but I knew I had to respect her decision. She would tell me when she wanted to, even though every single minute of ignorance would kill me. I had vowed to protect her, but I hadn't been able to keep the bloodsucker away.

Speaking of bloodsuckers, I wondered if the Cullens would come back one day; if the asshole would come back. He was stupid to have left a girl like Bella. She was special in every single way, and I hated him for what he did to Bella when he left, even though his stupidity brought her closer to me. I couldn't forget the day she came to see me with the motorcycles. She looked like she hadn't been taking care of her at all. She had looked like a zombie. So broken.

We arrived at her place and I went to sit on the couch as I waited for her to shower. I turned on the TV and tried not to think about what she was doing, and failed lamely.

She came back, fifteen minutes later, wearing a khaki skirt and a tight-fitted blue blouse. Her long hair was loose on her shoulders, and she looked irresistible. I sometimes wondered if she knew how much I wanted her, and how much more difficult she was making it for me to keep my hands off her. I smiled at her, "Ready?"

"Yes, let's go," she said.

The drive to the hospital was somewhat different. We talked a few times, though we weren't trying to hold a conversation. Now and then I would glance at her and she would be looking at me, with a smile on her face, and like every time she did that, my heart would soar.

We arrived at the hospital at about fifteen past eight. I went to see Angela along with Bella, but I stayed in the room only a few minutes, wanting to give them some time to talk. I went to the cafeteria and lingered there for some time, but I was getting bored, so I returned in the waiting room. I couldn't see inside the room but I could hear Bella talking.

"I'm sorry to have brought you into all this," she was saying.

"It's not your fault. Bella, _I've _been feeling guilty since I woke up and my mom told me they hadn't found you, 'cause I told you to come to Port Angeles with me. I'm so glad that you're alright. Bella, what happened there?"

There was a silence, and all the guilt that I was feeling for listening through the door slipped away. I waited, holding my breath.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," I heard Angela say quickly.

"No, it's…I don't know," Bella replied softly, "It has just been…horrible."

"And it hurts," Angela stated. It wasn't a question, just a statement. She understood; perhaps even more than I ever would. I didn't hear Bella's response but after some time Bella said, "Thank you."

BPOV

"How much time will you stay here?" I asked Angela.

"One more day, I think. I think I heard the doctor say I could leave tomorrow. Well it's good to know I'm not the only one who's missed a week of school," she paused, "I'm sorry, that was rude." She bit her lip.

"No, of course not. It's okay. I'm sorry to have brought you into all this."

"It's not your fault. Bella, _I've _been feeling guilty since I woke up and my mom told me they hadn't found you, 'cause I told you to come to Port Angeles with me. I'm so glad that you're alright. Bella, what happened there?"

I closed my eyes as the memories cam back once again. Victoria, holding a knife, her wild hair blowing in her face, a scary smile on her face, and advancing towards me. The pain as the knife cut through my flesh. The blood, gushing out.

"It's okay. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked," Angela assured me, and my eyes flew open.

"No…it," I tried to explain, but I just couldn't. How could I, in simple words, explain the atrocity I'd lived through? How cold I explain to her the living nightmare Victoria had created for me?

"I don't know. I had just been…horrible."

"And it hurts," Angela said. She didn't press it further. I was so grateful that she understood. She took me in her arms, and held me for I-don't- know how much time. It could have been hours, and I wouldn't have cared less.

"Thank you," I whispered as I pulled back. We talked for a few more minutes and I told her goodbye. I saw Jacob sitting in the waiting room, and he smiled when he saw me.

"Where to, now?" he asked.

"I don't know. You choose."

"We could go to the beach," he said.

"The beach it is, then!" I smiled as he took my hand.

We arrived at the beach as we sat down on the same spot where we've been making out about two weeks earlier. I sighed. So much had happened since.

As we talked of nothing in particular, I sensed Jacob becoming more and more tense. He wanted to ask me what Victoria did to me. So I tried another tactic, because talking wasn't enough to distract him. I smiled at him, and placed my hand on his thigh. I tried my best to be seductive, but I knew it sucked. He looked at me in surprise, but I didn't meet his eyes, or I knew I would back out.

I leaned closer to him and kissed him. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him down so that he was lying on the sand. His hands caressed my back and my sides; he was getting distracted, but just as I thought I had won, he pulled back, and looked into my eyes. I don't know what he saw there but he pulled himself in a sitting position, and continued to look at me, with a pleading expression.

I sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you everything."

**Thanks for reading, once again, and please don't forget to review! It might take a long time before the next chapter comes out, because I'm really lacking ideas to come up with. The next chapter will be on Bella explaining what Victoria did to her during those famous five days, and dear readers, I might need your help on this. It would be fun to know what you think I could put in it. So please, send me a message. Not in review please, because I would really like to keep the surprise! Thank you again!**


	9. My Misery

"It was half past six when we finished all the shopping and we were walking to the restaurant when I saw Victoria. She ran towards us, and grabbed my arm. Angela came by my side, as puzzled expression on her face. Victoria hit her head with her other arm with full force and Angela went crashing into as wall. The blood flowed almost instantly from a wound in her head. Victoria took me away, but she ran for only a few minutes, and then stopped. We arrived in the little store room of a shop. I don't think it was really a store room; perhaps more like a place to store unused things, maybe furniture. She attached my arms and feet with iron chains and told me she was sure we were going to have a lot of fun but that she had more important things to do first. The clothes I had bought in Port Angeles were still with me, though I had no idea how I'd kept them. She searched in the bag and took the shirt I had bought. She then told me to take off my shirt. It was the first time I spoke. I told her she would have to force me, but she had better ideas. She went in the shop and returned almost instantly with a knife. She sliced my arm with it," I traced the scar on my arm with my fingertips.

"The pain hit me at once. The blood was gushing out and I began to panic. I wondered how much time I had left to live. Her eyes darkened and she approached her lips. The pain was making me dizzy and her lips and tongue across my open wound was making it worse. Suddenly she pulled away and took off my shirt, replacing it with the one I'd bought; and then she left. The blood had stopped by then, and I laid my cheek on the cold wall. I have not idea how much time passed, but I waited and waited. A part of me was dreading her return, already imagining the things she would do to me, but another part was dreading the fact of her leaving me here all alone for ever.

Much later-or it could have been only minutes and I wouldn't have known- I heard voices. At first I couldn't react and the voices got louder. They were saying something about a wedding and preparations. I finally realized what was happening. People were not far and I would soon be free. So I started shouting. I don't even remember what I shouted, but I remembered hoping that Victoria wouldn't arrive soon. I had been shouting for a whole minute when I realized the talking hadn't stopped and that no one was acknowledging my presence. I yelled at the top of my lungs, yet no one heard me. I felt like I was eight again and dreaming that I was walking on the street, where no one could see or hear me, and even though I yelled and screamed, I was still invisible.

It was very dark in the room and I had abandoned shouting a long time ago when Victoria came back. My shirt was no longer with her and she approached me with an evil smile on her face. She sat beside me and reminded me why I was there at all. She explained the whole James thing again and how she was going to get her revenge. She was a bit like a little girl as she clapped her hands and jumped up and down. I told her that it was of no use now, and that she wouldn't get proper revenge by hurting me since I no longer meant anything for Edward."

The scene replayed in my head.

FLASHBACK

"It's absolutely of no use. Edward didn't care for me; that's why he left in the first place," I told Victoria restlessly, "I was never enough."

"Well," she said in her beautiful voice that so put mine to shame. "You think it won't do him anything if I kill you?"

I nodded. "Yes, I am sure of it."

"We'll see about that."

END OF FLASHBACK

"She told me she wanted me to have a lot of memories of my stay with her when I would be dead. She wanted me to experiment something. She said I could scream but that no one would hear me. She didn't know that I knew that of course; that I'd already experiment.

FLASHBACK

She approached me once more and looked me in the eyes. Her lips approached my neck, and she whispered, "It's going to be very, very painful. Let the fun begin." She pressed her teeth to my neck and I yelled out in pain. Her lips remained at my throat for some time and then she pulled back. I was appalled. She had stopped. I thought she was going to kill me. Then I remembered something. Did she have as much restraint as Carlisle? How had she been able to pull back? I looked at her and she was smiling sweetly. The blood didn't seem to affect her more than that.

"You taste very good, my Bella," she told me, still smiling.

END OF FLASHBACK

"I didn't realize what had just happened. I was thinking that maybe she was changing me into a vampire. But why would she do that? How would that hurt Edward? He wouldn't want me to turn into a total savage, but that wouldn't affect him more than that. I was still turning and returning the reasons in my mind when the pain hit me. My throat was in flames, and I couldn't breathe properly. I remember the pain when James had bit me, but this seemed even more painful. The fire started spreading. It was like having a million of little candles lit up in the body. The pain was so unbearable that I remember pleading her to kill me. Victoria sat in front of me all the time, murmuring things that I didn't have the energy to listen to. She watched me as I cried out in pain with a small smile on her face.

"It will soon be over," she told me softly after what seemed like a lifetime. I couldn't keep track of time, but suddenly as the fire was starting to spread in my stomach, she came over to me, and put her lips to my neck once more. I was crying out and pleading her to stop. She sucked on my neck and I was feeling too tired; my eyelids were heavy and my eyes were starting to close as the pain lessened. The fire in my arms stopped, and soon, my neck was no longer hurting me. The flames had stopped altogether, even though my throat was still dry. I was thirsty, but I sure as hell wasn't going to ask her for anything. I didn't want her to suddenly find a new means of torture by bringing food and water in the room, near enough to smell, but still out of reach.

"Am I a vampire?" I remember asking her. She laughed and turned back to me.

"Of course not. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to." Suddenly she appeared at my side, and had my face in her hands. She caressed my cheek softly and brushed the hair out of my face, "I'll be back soon, sweet Bella." And then she was gone."

I looked over at Jacob and he was still watching me intently. There were a lot of emotions clear on his face, but I didn't pay attention. I had to stay focused. I knew that I had to get the story out before I broke down.

"I woke up, not remembering falling asleep, finding Victoria by my side. She smiled at me sweetly, "Sleep well?"

Before I could respond- not that I was planning to- her teeth were at my arm and the fire was starting again. I don't know how much time it lasted before Victoria once again put her lips on my wound. She was sucking the venom out again, and I wondered how much restraint was necessary for this. I knew that a wrong move could kill me, that in one second I could be dead and I wouldn't even realize it; but Victoria wanted me to suffer, so I didn't have to worry about her ending my life abruptly before she thought I'd had enough. And she was a vampire. An immortal creature. I wondered how much time or pain was enough for her.

After that she told me to take off my shirt. I was tired and at first I didn't understand. Before I had even grasped what she said, she was hovering above me, with a knife in hand. Her eyes were narrowed, and she was staring intently at me. Then suddenly I felt pain in my arm and I saw blood streaming all along my arm.

"Stupid humans!! No wonder your little Vampire left you! I haven't spent two days with you and you're already driving me insane!" She cried out in a high-pitched voice I'd never heard her use before. Her hand was swaying here and there, with the knife still in her hand, and I began to panic. I had never seem anyone like that before; vampire or not. She was gripping her head with both her hands and she was screaming. Then she approached me again and I flinched back.

"How dare you!" she yelled at me. "You're flinching back from _me_? You have no idea what I can do to you!" Her eyes and her face were hard, and her jaw clenched, as she tried to compose herself. She was clearly furious and I knew better than to mess with her. She turned her back at me and fell silent. When she turned back around, she had the same sweet smile she had been wearing for days. There was no trace of hate or anger on her face, and if I had not witnessed her whole scene, I wouldn't have believed that she was furious a moment ago. I was starting to think I had been imagining the whole thing, but her next words quickly erased that thought.

She took one of my hands in hers and sat down next to me. I made sure not to flinch this time when she approached my face.

"Let's not be like that, okay? I don't like it when I have to be angry at you. We still have so many things to do, my Bella. You're very fun to be with. I really like your company, and it's not good to ruin our friendship for petty matters. Okay, now you're going to go to sleep. I know you're tired and we have many things to do later. I have to talk to you about important things, so you should go to sleep now, okay Bella?"

I nodded, and closed my eyes. I so didn't want to infuriate her. The sweet Victoria was annoying but the angry Victoria was frightening. I woke up later and the surroundings were different. I wasn't in the little store room anymore. I was still attached with iron chains but this room was much larger. Victoria was nowhere to be seen, for which I was grateful. I managed to sit up a little more properly, and as I did so, I felt pain on my stomach. I pulled my shirt a little and I gasped. There were deep cuts on my stomach and they were still bleeding a little. Victoria arrived at that moment.

"I'll take care of it," she said. She pulled off my shirt and licked off all the blood. It hurt, but I knew better than to complain. When she finished, she handed me another shirt.

"Here put this on."

I did so reluctantly and forced myself to look at her. She came to sit beside me. It seemed to have become her favourite spot. She passed her hand through her hair, and this gesture reminded me of my mom. I slapped myself mentally. I had been kidnapped by Vitoria, and here was I, comparing her to my mom. I quickly realized that his place was driving me insane, and that the worst was yet to come.

She bit me on my hand, exactly where James had bit me. She said it was to strengthen their bond, and that this, besides killing me of course, was her last gesture to him. After that, I completely lost track of time. Now and then, she would bite me, and afterwards she would suck out the venom. She seemed to think that watching me yell in pain on the floor was a fair enough revenge. I don't know at what moment I became numb. The numbness was welcomed, because when she bit me, or when she would cut my flesh, the pain wouldn't make itself known. I wouldn't feel anything and I quickly managed to ignore her touch. She changed method of suffering then. Though she would still occasionally cut my flesh and drink some of my blood- her idea of revenge seemed way stronger than her thirst-she would talk of Edward. This was in fact the important discussions she thought we ought to have.

FLASHBACK

She was pacing back and forth along the long room as I stared ahead of me.

"You have to understand. We, Vampires, have a very broad mind and we can think of many things at once. That's why we get easily distracted. I bet at this moment he isn't even thinking about you. He is probably more concerned bout Tanya. You know Tanya? You should, my Bella. I've heard it from Laurent. He said he had found some interesting things while he was in Alaska. One of those things is the fact that Tanya expresses a great interest in your Edward. You were so right, sweet Bella! He doesn't care! I don't even know why I'm doing this. When I'm finished with you, I'm going to pay him a little visit. We women shouldn't let men treat us this way. At least you'll have a little satisfaction in all this mess." Vitoria kissed my cheek then, and although I hated Edward for what he did to me; even though I was still devastated by his depart, what hurt me more than not being good enough for him, was having Victoria, or anything else for that matter, to hurt him. "He's going to suffer, my Bella, don't worry." She took my hand and patted it, "I love you, Bella. I really do, you know that, don't you? You're of great company," she sighed. "Okay I'll let you alone for some time. You'll be ok? I won't be long, promise."

END OF FLASHBACK

From that time she began mentioning Edward every time she talked to me, and describing the plans she had for him. Then, out of nowhere, the Vampire-Victoria would come back and the woman-Victoria would disappear. She would start defending Edward and 'the vampire mind'.

"You're only human, after all," she would say. "He'd have to be careful every minute and rein all his instincts. I guess it was like a full time job, my Bella, taking care of you. After some time he just got bored. He had to find himself another distraction. Yes, we, Vampires are good at that.""

By the time I had reached that part I couldn't contain back the tears and let them fall freely. Jacob was not moving. Maybe he had finally understood and realized that I was no good for him. I was already broken when I came to him the first time, and now I was used, and of no interest. I was scarred for life, and maybe he realized he didn't have to deal with it. He could just walk away; I would understand. But now was not the time to think about the consequences. I had to get my story out straight before I decide to deal with the mess of my life.

"At one time she announced that we were in an old building that was about to be imploded. She said it was a matter of hours and then all this would end. I think I've never felt so much relief in all my life. It would be all over soon. In a few hours I would be safe. So I was annoyed when you and Sam arrived. Who were you, to rob me of my freedom? Hadn't I suffered enough? I so wanted this to end.

Then the fight begun. I don't remember it clearly. I was thinking of Edward. Would she really go to him after all this? Would she be woman-Victoria or would Vampire-Victoria resurface once I was dead? I ran over in my head all the things she might do to him. Or maybe, she might just find him to tell him that he had had her revenge and that I was dead. What hurt the most was the realization that he might just shrug it off, and move on with his life- or rather existence.

Then I remember you taking me in your arms and running out of the building. Funny as it may seem, if I hadn't been numb, I might just have slapped you for changing the scenario. It was all supposed to end there. My life was supposed to end there, and I had come to accept it. "

**This is the longest chapter I've ever written! I am proud of myself! Review and tell me what you think of it! **


	10. Stay Just A Little More

BPOV

Jacob had been silent ever since I'd finished my story; and that was ten minutes ago. You would think that after all I've been through with Victoria and how time had seemed endless there, ten minutes wouldn't matter. But it did. Each minute brought by another reason for his silence, and each reason was worth than the last. By that time I was hesitating between two hypotheses.

He had finally realized I was too broken and used, and he was trying to find a way to get rid of me without hurting me too much.

He had finally realized I was too broken and used, and he was thinking that maybe if he didn't say anything, I would get the picture.

Well, to some extent, I did get the picture; and I understood completely. I looked at him one last time and headed towards nowhere. Everywhere but here. I heard him following behind me; funny, because I didn't hear him, normally. He was beside me in a moment.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

I didn't look at his face. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Where was I going anyway?

"Home," I answered.

"I'll take you," he proposed. Another friendly act before the goodbye scene? Would there even be a goodbye scene?

"No it's okay. I can walk."

"No, I'll take you," he insisted.

He didn't say more and I kept silent. It was better that way. If only he knew how much I would miss him. I would miss his voice, his company and the way he would always make me laugh about the silliest things. Most of all, I would miss his kisses. Funny how I'd become used to those even after swearing never to love anyone after Edward. I loved Jacob Black. More than my own life, and I would miss him terribly. How I would survive, I had absolutely no idea. I could tell him as much, tell him everything I was feeling at this moment, but I didn't want to be ridiculous, and why put him in a more awkward position?

JPOV

I watched as Bella started to walk away. _That's it_, I thought to myself. I immediately walked after her. She had her head down so I couldn't read her face. Was she angry? Did she regret telling me? I needed to know. All this atrocity, it would take me hours, weeks, no, years to comprehend it. And still, to some extent, I would never, ever understand. I had to say something; I knew it, but I had practically forced her to reveal everything to me; did that make me as atrocious as Victoria? More, maybe, because Bella trusted me, and I had abused this trust. I was so ashamed of myself; she was ready to forget everything, and I forced her to tell me. I wondered if that would have an impact on our relationship. Change it…drastically?

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Home," she replied.

I couldn't make myself to tell her what I wanted to: that everything would be alright, and that I was there. Instead I told her, "I'll take you."

"No it's okay," she said, "I can walk." I was glad she had no idea how much that hurt. It was like a hundred of pieces of glass stabbing at my heart.

"No, I'll take you."

I realized, as I saw a tear across her cheek, that I had definitely broken her trust. All the way, I was fighting against myself. One part of me wanted to apologize, and the other part thought it might be better to wait. I wanted her to talk to me, to tell me that she wasn't angry with me and that she still loved me. Hell, she could even yell at me and tell me to fuck off. At least it would be something. This silence was unbearable. And yet I bear it. Before I even knew it we were in front of her house and she was entering without a backward glance. I sighed. Was she that angry?

I made my decision.

"Bella, wait," I ran after her. I couldn't let her go. I wasn't strong enough. I would plead her if that was necessary. She turned around but she wouldn't look at me. She was breathing hard and the tears were still falling. I wanted to slap myself for hurting her so much. I wouldn't ever force her again. That was another promise to keep, and that meant that I would have to go if she told me to. It broke my heart to simply think of that possibility. I closed the distance between us and took her in my arms. I was clinging to her, but hell, I couldn't care less. She was still for a moment, and then her tiny arms came around my waist, hugging me fiercely. That was good; at least she still needed me. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Bella's smell soon filled my head. God, I loved her so much.

We stayed like that for a very, very long moment before I pulled back. She finally looked at me with eyes so sad that I wanted to do everything to make it right again.

"It's the end, then?" she whispered. It crushed my heart.

"It doesn't have to be," I whispered back.

"I love you, Jacob Black." I could practically hear my heart soar, and I was surprised that she didn't

"I love you, Isabella Swan."

The next thing I knew, Bella's lips were pressed to mine, and my heart was speeding up. She was kissing me like…like she was telling me goodbye. I couldn't allow it; I wouldn't live through it if she was telling me goodbye. I shouldn't let one little mistake…

I moved her hair out of her face and kissed her face everywhere. I kissed her cheeks, her chin, her eyes, her nose, and then her lips again. This kiss wasn't a goodbye kiss, but it wasn't the surrender-kiss I was expecting. It was more like she had won something. Won what? Me? Surely not._ I_ was the one pleading her to stay. I was confused but happy at the same time. My hands moved from her back to her face and we pulled back, for air. I looked at the clock; a quarter to six. Time had passed so quickly.

"You want to stay? We could have an early dinner?" she asked me. I looked back at her and she was watching me.

"Yeah, we could watch a movie afterwards," I added quickly making plans. I didn't want to leave yet.

She nodded, "Sure."

She went into the kitchen and decided to make pasta. I helped a little, though I didn't know much. She would laugh at me when I would do something wrong, and it was so good to hear her laugh again that I would now and then make a mistake intentionally, and watch her make fun of me, with a smile on my face, without even pretending to took hurt. We finished dinner and went to watch a movie. We watched a comedy and Bella had fallen asleep by the time Charlie arrived.

"Hey Jacob," he called.

"Hi Charlie," I said, trying to keep my voice low.

"What are you two doing?"

"Watching a movie. She fell asleep, though. I think I'll take her to her room," I said as I got up.

"Yeah, okay," He murmured.

I took Bella in my arms and her arms automatically went around me.

"I'm taking you to your room, sweetheart," I told her. Her grip tightened on me.

"Stay," she ordered.

I looked at Charlie. "You can stay with her, but only for tonight."

"In her room?" I asked, surprised.

"Only for tonight; don't get ideas," he said.

I laughed as I carried Bella to her room, and settled her in bed. I climbed in and hugged her to my chest, breathing in the sweet scent of Bella.

BPOV

I woke up by someone snoring. I jumped from bed and almost fell. I closed my eyes. Where was I? I took a deep breath and opened them back. Okay, I was in my room. I looked at the bed and Jacob was lying there; and he was not wearing a shirt. The sheets covered the lower part of his body, so I couldn't know, could I? What was Jacob doing in my bed? Half-naked? Or fully? I couldn't know. Did I…no, surely not. I couldn't…I mean. Oh My God.

I looked at myself, and hopefully, I was fully clothed. I breathed a sigh of relief, but then I thought about something. What was Jacob doing in my bed, then? I hoped Charlie didn't know; he would be mad. Hell, what had I gotten myself into? I sat on my bed and leaned over him.

"Jake?" he didn't move. I shook him a little, "Jake, please."

He turned around and grabbed my waist, making me fall on the bed.

"Jacob, wake up," I urged.

He opened his eyes and looked at me lazily.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What are _you _doing? Why are you in my bed?" I asked. He looked around, at his bare chest, and then back at me.

"Did we…"

"Of course not," I cut him. No need to tell him I had been thinking the same thing. "So?"

"I think…yeah, Charlie let me stay," he laughed, "only for last night," he said.

"Oh," I said, surprised. Charlie should really be worried about me to let a boy sleep in bed with me. Wow. "Okay, go back to sleep, then."

"Hmm…you sure?"

"Yes, you can sleep," I assured him.

I went in my closet and made sure to take my clothes with me before heading to the bathroom. I closed my eyes when the hot water hit my skin. My thoughts went back to Jacob. He didn't seem like he would be leaving anytime soon. I wondered why that was; maybe he was sticking with me after all. I smiled at the thought. I loved him so much, and I needed him even more, though it was hard to believe. I depended on him so much, and I knew that if he left, I wouldn't survive. Yes, Jacob was staying. I don't even know why I ever doubted that. He told me endless times that he loved me and that he would always be there. I felt like jumping and screaming in joy. Jacob was staying with me. He wasn't going to leave! I smiled; maybe I had to give him a small reward for this decision. Yes. I would give him everything I had left so that he wouldn't ever have to regret giving me a chance. I opened my eyes and stepped out of the shower. This was going to be a wonderful day.

I went downstairs and poured some milk in a bowl, before adding cereals. Charlie was already at work, and I had to get going if I wanted to be in time for school. I gulped. School was going to be a nightmare. I wondered If Angela was coming today. I guessed not. The accident was pretty major, and even though she didn't look that bad on Saturday, it would take some time before she could go back to school.

I felt two arms encircling me and I jumped a bit when Jacob leaned to kiss my cheek. I turned my head so that my lips met his and kissed him with the most passion I could manage. I put my arms around his neck, and pulled him closer, but he pulled back. He looked surprised.

"God, Bella! Were you planning on attacking me?" I almost laughed at his expression.

"Yes," I said solemnly. "I admit it." I decided to tease him a bit. "I'm sorry. I mean you are underage and it would be against the law…"

His reaction was as planned. He cut me, "No, it's okay. I don't mind. You can…"

"No, that was stupid of me. I was planning on skipping school today, you know…" I couldn't finish because his lips crashed onto mine. As much as I wanted to continue kissing him, I pulled back.

"Bells," he protested.

"I've changed my mind," by that time I was practically biting my lips to prevent myself from laughing. He pouted, and he looked so much like a sulking child that I just had to laugh.

"You were making fun of me, right?" he asked suspiciously.

"Uh-huh," I nodded.

"You suck, Bells. You're going to pay for this," he threatened.

"I would love to, but I have to go to school. See you later, Jacob." I continued laughing as I walked to my truck and jumped in.

It was very cold so I put on my jacket and turned on the heater. I wondered what it would be today; stares or overwhelming attention? I didn't know what I preferred; both were annoying. I sighed as I parked my truck and saw Mike. I guess I would know now. He had already seen me and was waving. I walked to him, smiling.

"Hey Bella! I didn't know if you were coming today," _hmm…yeah. That's why you were waiting for me_, I thought. "Are you okay? We were all going crazy here when we heard that you were kidnapped."

We? I wondered briefly who he was talking about.

"I'm fine, thank you," I replied.

He walked me to class and asked me if I was fine over a dozen times. We arrived at the door, and he said, "Bad experience, huh?"

"Pretty bad, yeah," I admitted. "But I'm over it."

I tried to pay attention in class but it was a difficult thing to do when every five seconds, someone would glance at me. The class seemed to last longer than usual and when it did end, I dashed out of the room. I was making my way to my next class when a girl came walking beside me. It was Crystal, a girl I had almost every class with. I had never talked to her, even though she seemed a nice girl. Crystal had short, curly, blond hair, and light brown eyes. She was beautiful and didn't seem unaware of it.

"Hi Bella," she said

"Hi Crystal."

"Difficult, huh?"

"What?" I asked.

"To bear the stares," she explained. She pointed to people who were staring at me as I walked in the corridor.

"Oh yes. It's even worse than my first day here, though I would have thought that was impossible."

"I know how that feels. Two years ago there was a rumor that I was pregnant. For two weeks they kept staring at me and asking me if the father was my ex boyfriend. It took me too much time but I finally found the courage to tell them to fuck off," she smiled proudly. "No one messes with me, now."

"Maybe you should be my bodyguard," I joked, "because me, telling them to fuck off? I would never have the courage."

"Well yeah. Trust me, one week of this and you'll see if you don't get the courage."

At that time Jessica arrived and pulled me into the class.

"Well good luck, Bella," Crystal called from the door.

"Wow! Crystal Jenkins? I thought she never talked to anyone." Jessica announced. I just smiled.

"Are you alright, Bella?" she sounded truly anxious.

"Yes, I'm fine Jess. Don't worry."

"I mean being kidnapped and all. I thought that happened only in films. And Angela being hit by a car. You two were really tied to trouble that day."

"I guess," I said.

At that moment the teacher entered and we stopped talking. After class I borrowed Jessica's note for last week, and realized that I would be really busy for some time. The day passed rather quickly after that and I headed home.


	11. Help Me Heal My Wounds

**I uploaded this chapter really quick. I know you love me! Lol. Enjoy!**

Time passed rather quickly and my days became routine. I was being able to catch up with my work and so was Angela. The day she came back to school was pretty hard for her too, and she was shyer than me, so there was no need to try to tell them to leave us alone. Mike was still following me around and Crystal thought it was funny. Now that I knew her better, I realized Crystal was a very nice and exuberant girl. We had become quite close and Angela, Crystal and I hanged out a lot. Today she was supposed to meet Jacob. We were all going to go to the cinema to watch the new horror movie named The Deadly Crush. Angela was bringing Ben of course, and Crystal was bringing her boyfriend Seymour. Seymour has short back hair and light brown eyes exactly as Crystal.

Jacob and I arrived at the cinema and saw that the others were already at the entrance. As soon as she saw us, Crystal waved and led Seymour to us.

She looked at Jacob, "You must be Jacob, pretty boy. My name is Crystal." She handed her hand and he shook it. She turned to her boyfriend. "And this is Seymour."

"Hello," he said.

"Hello to you too, Crystal. Thank you for acknowledging my presence," I teased. She gave me an apologetic look and hugged me.

"Sorry sweetheart." Then she whispered, "But he is _hot_!" and giggled in my ear.

Angela was close by and she heard, "Careful, Bella." She said, making us laugh again.

The movie was the scariest one I had ever watched, though the others said that the zombie movie I went to with Jessica was much scarier. I wouldn't know since I spent most of my time outside when I was with Jessica. Crystal and Seymour were hilarious to watch. Now and then Seymour would try to get the attention of Crystal by taking her hand or kissing her neck, and she would smack his head, telling him to watch the movie. The couple threateningly reminded me of another one I hadn't got the time to know better, but fortunately it wasn't enough to ruin my mood.

After the movie, we went to a restaurant nearby. The place was full so we only got the only available table, which was rather small for six persons. I ended up pressed dangerously close to Jacob, practically sitting on his lap. He didn't seem to mind, so I pretended not to either, even though all I could think of was that I was sitting of the lap of a boy, whom I was very aware of physically. Strange electricity burned in the air and now and then, Jacob would kiss my neck or my cheek, whichever was closer to him, or he would caress my face, and my heart would speed up. Well, two could play at that game, I decided, and even though I preferred to think all I was doing was just to tease Jacob, I knew for sure there were other reasons as well.

We finished eating and Crystal had an idea.

"Let's go to a night club!" She exclaimed, excitedly.

I looked at her skeptically. "I don't think that's a good idea," I said.

Jacob surprised me by agreeing with her. "Oh let's go, Bells."

I looked at him, incredulously. "I can't dance."

"Trust me," Crystal said, grinning. "I'll be with you all the time. Oh come on, Izzy, please. I promise you'll have a great time!"

"Don't call me that," I told her. She thought Izzy was far better than Isabella, or even Bella.

"Are you two coming?" I asked Ben and Angela, who were smiling.

"Yeah," they replied at once, nodding.

I sighed. "Okay, okay. I give up."

"Yay!!" Crystal screamed. "I love you, Izzy!!" She hugged me and began talking about the club she was taking us to. I listened occasionally, more than aware of the fact that Jacob had an arm around my shoulders and that the previous electricity at the restaurant hadn't left.

At the entrance of the club, the others had already entered, and Jacob, Crystal and I were still outside when I saw Crystal showing a fake ID. My mouth dropped as the man nodded. As soon as we entered, I turned to her.

"You're planning on drinking?"

"Not only me," she grinned.

"You're diabolical!" I laughed.

She took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I was a bit skeptical at first, but very soon I managed rather well on my own. I have no idea if the occasional drinks Crystal brought me were responsible for it, but my clumsiness disappeared. Usually, alcohol had the opposite effect, but as long as it lasted, I wasn't going to complain. Angela and Ben were dancing nearby and Crystal was nowhere to be seen; neither was Seymour.

The beat was going strong and the drinks were kicking in. My hips were swaying and my hands ran over Jacob's body. I was trying to take Jacob's shirt off because I liked it better when he didn't have one, but he kept stopping me. I was starting to get frustrated when Crystal and Seymour joined us on the dance floor. We danced for a while and after slipping one more drink to me, Crystal leaned to whisper in my ear.

"I called your dad. I told him you're staying at my place. I don't think he'll ever let you go out again if you come home drunk. And besides, you can have this night alone to spend with your sexy boyfriend here." She pulled back, and winked at me.

Too soon it was time to leave and Jacob told me he should take me home.

"But I can't take you home like this," he said.

I smiled at him. "Take me home with you," I said flirtatiously, as I ran my fingers down his arm.

"We have to call Charlie."

"It's already been taken care of," I giggled. I leaned towards him and captured his lips between mine. He seemed surprised but he kissed me back. He took me in his arms, still kissing me, and before I knew it, we were in the car and he was releasing me. I protested and pulled his lips back to mine. My hands had a mind on their own and they wanted some action. I giggled against his mouth.

He pulled back a little. "What?" he whispered.

I shook my head, before pulling closer again, but he stopped me.

"I've got to drive, Bella"

"But I want you to kiss me," I pouted and he kissed it once.

"Later," he said.

I smiled. "Promise?"

"Promise."

The drive to his place was so long, that it became boring. I put my left hand on his thigh and worked my way higher, but his hand stopped me.

"Bella."

"What?" I asked innocently.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm bored," I sighed.

He didn't say anything after that, and now and then I would put my hand on his chest or his thigh, or I would lean to kiss him, and every time he would stop me and tell me he was driving. I scowled in the darkness. Usually _I _had to stop _him_.

"We're here," he said after some time. He opened the door for me and put his arms around my shoulders to steady me, even though it was unnecessary as the alcohol had already chased my clumsiness. We entered and he led me to his room_. Some action, at last_, I thought, before giggling.

"You can sleep here. I'll sleep on the couch," he told me.

I pulled him over me. "Who said we were going to sleep?" I whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"You're so sexy," I giggled. "I love you, Jacob Black."

"Good to sleep, Bella," he whispered.

I kissed him and took off his shirt. I traced my hands over the muscles of his chest and he shivered.

"I want you so much," I told him.

I didn't expect his reaction. He pulled back. I tried to kiss him again but he wouldn't co-operate.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Bells," his voice was restrained. I came on top of him, and kissed his neck, making him shiver again.

"Bella…" he began to protest, but I traced my tongue on his skin and he gasped.

"Bella…" he tried again.

"Make love to me," I whispered. He froze. I looked at his face and his expression was disapproving. He pushed me aside firmly.

"Bella, you're drunk," he said.

"I'm not drunk," I giggled a bit loudly, "maybe a little."

"Shh…" he said, a finger at my lips.

I licked it.

"Bella stop it."

"But you promised," I whined.

"I didn't have that in mind."

"But I want you. Do you want me, Jacob?" I asked.

He put the sheets on me.

"Go to sleep." He kissed my forehead.

"You're sexy, Jake."

"Don't pull my limits, Bells."

"Why don't you want me? I pouted.

"You'll thank me in the morning, trust me."

My eyelids were becoming very heavy and it was becoming hard to keep my eyes open. "I love you," I said.

He tucked me and kissed my forehead once more. I think I heard him murmur a "love you too" but I couldn't be sure. I couldn't think anymore as I quickly drifted to sleep.

JPOV

I put an arm around her shoulders and we walked inside. My dad was already sleeping; I could hear him snoring in his room. We arrived in my room and Bella went to sit on the bed. Memories of the drive, or worse, on the dance floor were coming back to me. I had to leave soon because I wouldn't last long.

"You can sleep here. I'll sleep on the couch," I said. Another night I would have slept in the bed with her; it was large enough for both of us. But not tonight. Not when I wanted her so much. I looked at Bella and she put her arms around my waist and pulled onto her. I had a hunch this was going to be difficult.

"Who said we were going to sleep?" she whispered. I could feel her hot breath on m face and it was becoming very difficult to think clearly. I didn't even remember what she just asked me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're so sexy," she said and giggled. Had she been sober, there would have been a blush on her beautiful face. "I love you, Jacob Black."

"Go to sleep, Bella," I murmured. Or I'm going to lose it.

I was about to get off the bed when she kissed me. Her lips were soft and there wasn't a single hint of hesitation in her actions as she pulled my shirt over my head and threw it across the room. I shivered as her hands caressed my chest. _Well I guess I could stay with her for some time_, I thought, as I kissed her harder.

"I want you so much," she said. I sighed. She was drunk. There was no way Bella would tell me that if she was sober. I pulled back when she tried to kiss me again. There wasn't a chance I would make love to her, knowing she'd regret it first thing in the morning. Maybe she did want me, but she wasn't in position to know what she was doing.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bells." Before I could say anything else, she was on top of me and her luscious mouth was at my neck. Damn! I didn't think she had an idea to what that mouth of hers could do to me.

"Bella…" I protested but I could feel her tongue on my neck, and I couldn't think straight. Instead I gasped.

"Bella," I said. I had no idea how much more time I could last.

"Make love to me," Bella whispered. Images immediately shot through my mind. Me on top of Bella, kissing every part of her tempting body. Her hair tangled, her cheeks flushed. Bella, crying out _my_ name. I suppressed a groan. My pants were quickly becoming very uncomfortable. Bella shouldn't have drunk today.

She lifted her face to mine and I pushed her aside.

"Bella, you're drunk," I said.

"I'm not drunk," she protested. Then she giggled and talked much too loudly, considering the fact that my dad was not far. "Maybe a little."

"Shh!" I put a finger on her lips and my eyes widened as she licked it. I put my hand aside.

"Bella, stop it," I said firmly.

"But you promised," she whined.

"I didn't have that in mind," I told her. I promised kissing not sex. Though I would love to.

"But I want you," she said and I felt myself losing resistance, "Don't you want me, Jacob?"

Yes. Badly.

I got out of bed and pulled the sheets onto her.

"Go to sleep," I told her and kissed her forehead.

"You're sexy, Jake," she mumbled and I almost got back into that damn bed.

"Don't pull my limits, Bells."

"Why don't you want me?" she pouted. If only she knew how much I did right now.

"You'll thank me in the morning, trust me."

"I love you, Jake," she said as she closed her eyes.

I smiled. "Love you too, sweetheart," I kissed her forehead once more and left the room, closing the door softly behind me. I lay on the couch and sighed. If only tomorrow Bella could tell me that she had been serious tonight. I smiled at that thought.

**Okay I developed the Character Crystal and I would like to know what you think of her. Love her? Hate her? Tell me. Don't forget to review! I love you all!**


	12. What's The Date?

**Sorry for the long wait! I had writer's block for a while, but I managed to work up a chapter. Enjoy!**

When I woke up the next day, it was quite bright outside. I sat on the couch and the memories of the last day came back to me. I could hear someone in the kitchen so I went in. It was my dad; he was having breakfast. He looked up as I entered.

"Hi kid. Want some eggs?"

"Yeah," I replied, taking a plate. He had prepared omelets. I sat down and ate.

"What are you doing today?" he asked.

"I don't know yet. Maybe hang out at Sam's place. What about you?"

"I have to go to Sue's place. Charlie called and said he'll be there."

We continued to eat in silence and after some time he spoke. "I'll better get going. See you, Jake."

"Yeah, bye dad."

I got up too and put the plates in the sink. I washed them, and then went back in the living room to watch TV, when I heard some noise in my room. I guessed Bella woke up. I went in but didn't see Bella. The bathroom door was wide open so I approached, and saw her on the floor, near the toilet seat, vomiting. I went in and sat beside her, rubbing her back.

"Are you okay?" I asked after a few moments.

She nodded without looking at me. I couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"That's what you get for drinking so much."

She sot me a guilty look and then sighed. "I'll never drink so much again…though it has its advantages," she said as she got up.

"Like what?" I asked. Wanting to jump me?

She winced slightly, "Don't talk so loudly, please. I have an awful headache.

She sat on a chair in the kitchen.

"Do you want an omelet?"

"Not now. I'm not hungry."

I came behind her and massaged her temples. I felt her relax as she leaned back against the chair.

"Hmm…that's good." Images of other circumstances of when she might say that came to me. I closed my eyes. I felt like a pervert. I leaned down to kiss her cheek but her neck was too tempting. She wrapped her arms around my neck as she turned around. My lips left her neck to kiss her mouth and I remembered last night. I had to ask her…I had to know…her lips were moving so passionately beneath mine that all thoughts become confused. I put on hand in her hair, pulling her closer and her lips parted. I could taste her hot breath on my tongue and the few remaining clear thoughts disappeared. My tongue grazed her bottom lip and they parted even more. My tongue went hesitantly in her mouth. Bella tasted so amazingly good. I traced the pattern of her smooth and wet tongue with mine… I had to know… did she mean it? I pulled back and she looked at me, surprised. I kissed her lips once more and went to sit on a chair at the other side of the table.

"I have to tell you something," I said.

She nodded.

"Do you remember last night?"

"Yeah. We danced a lot. And I was… trying to take off your shirt," she admitted sheepishly, and bit her bottom lip. "I'm kind of uncontrollable when I'm drunk, huh? I won't ever drink this much again."

I waited for her to say something and apparently she was doing the same.

"Sorry?" she said after a few moments. It sounded like a question.

"You don't remember after that?" I asked her.

"We watched a film, right?" I didn't know what to say. That's the excuse he had? Hmmm... Interesting. She continued when I didn't speak.

"I fell asleep halfway maybe 'because I don't remember half of it. I hardly remember anything at all besides that there was a girl tricking a boy into having sex with her," she blushed. "She kept saying things like 'you're sexy' and making stupid comments. What kind of idiotic film is that? You surely have an odd taste," she frowned.

I chuckled in spite of myself. She shot a look at me. "What?"

I shook my head. "It wasn't a film."

She looked puzzled, "I don't understand."

"Well, after we left the nightclub, we came here… and you started kissing me." I chuckled. I watched as my words slowly sank in and different emotions crossed her face so quickly that I had difficulty to decipher everything. Surprise, incomprehension, shock, shame… and hope?

Her mouth opened and closed several times before she spoke. "That was us?" She breathed.

"Yeah."

I saw a blush rise along her face before she dropped her face in her hands. I heard her whisper 'Oh my God' very, very quietly.

I immediately felt good for resisting last night. I was right; she wouldn't just be hurt, she would be angry at me. I breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing was worth losing Bella. Not even one night with her. One passionate night of… I blinked. Focus, focus!

Another time I would have teased her about it, but not today. I knew she felt bad about last night and I would not make it worst.

"Bella, it's okay," I said as I went beside her and took her in my arms. I held her for some minutes before she looked up at me shyly, "Are you sure it wasn't a movie?"

I laughed at her expression, "Sure."

She groaned as she hid her face in the crook of my neck.

**[ ]**

I woke up by Jacob who was kissing my neck. I didn't open my eyes but instead, I appreciated the moment. That didn't happen often. His lips moved to my cheek and he murmured, "Wake up, sleepyhead". I turned my face so that my lips were touching his, and pulled him on top of me. My fingers knotted in his hair and I pressed his face to mine. The kiss changed from gentle to urgent and passionate. Suddenly he pulled back and I protested.

"Happy birthday, love."

"What… oh." "Was it September 13 already? It had been weeks since I'd bothered with dates. I sighed. How could I have forgotten my own birthday?

I smiled. "Thank you." I began to kiss him again, but then I remembered something. "Charlie let you in my room?" I asked suspiciously.

"I have ten minutes," he laughed, "let's make the best of it." He nibbled on my ear. I moaned.

"You like that, don't you?" he asked playfully.

I laughed. "You have no idea."

He pulled back and looked at me. His eyes were hungry and I knew he wanted me. I knew he hoped that we were alone and I hoped the same. This effect I seemed to have on him was new to me, and I didn't know how I should react. I tried to minimize it, but Jacob had a great effect on me too, no matter what he did. I remember the day we went to the night club and I tried to seduce him. I still didn't have much memories of that night, just that Jacob prevented me from doing what could have been the greatest mistake of my life. I didn't consider making love with Jacob a mistake; just that making love with him, being drunk, wasn't the best idea.

I thought about something. Had I considered making love with Jacob? Not really, but… I mean, it was something I haven't quite thought about. He wanted me; I was sure of it. I could feel it in his every touch. And I wanted him; with every fibre of my being. But sex was a big step, and I wasn't sure if I was ready enough to take that step. Besides, I didn't want us to become one of those couples who couldn't as much as touch each other without it having to come to sex. I've heard something about couples who didn't kiss because it was too intimate. I realized maybe I was stupid to think about all those things. And I didn't want to take that decision today. I'd just see how it goes.

Jacob was still watching me. I lightly traced my hand over his arms.

"You're wearing a shirt today?" I asked him

He frowned. "Charlie wouldn't let me come in here if I wasn't wearing one," then he laughed. "As if that would stop me." He leaned down, pulled my shirt a little so that my stomach was exposed, and I shivered. He kissed my stomach and the sensations that washed over me almost overwhelmed me. I couldn't think as my waist moved on its own, pressing closer to him. He placed his right hand on my waist and his left on my thigh. His lips were still tracing kisses on my stomach, and he hitched my left leg around his hip. I shivered, and wrapped my other leg around his hip. His lips found mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck, clasping him to me. I could feel his weight on me and it made me unbearably hot.

"Time's up, Jake!" Charlie called from downstairs. Jacob didn't pull back, kissing me more passionately than ever. His lips left mine and moved to my neck. There was no gentleness in his acts; there was urgency. He wanted me now. His hands moved to my waist and pulled my shirt up. He pulled away so that I could take it off. I obeyed and laughed as he kissed my neck again. His hands moved to my back and unclasped my bra. There was a sharp intake of breath, and I would have been unable to say if it was him or me.

"I'm coming!" Charlie announced. I gasped and froze.

"He isn't," Jacob assured me.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Hmm."

He pulled back and looked at me. He was about to take off my bra when he turned his head towards the door.

"Damn," he muttered.

"What?" I asked, out of breath.

"He's coming."

I put my hands on his chest to push him, but he was already on his feet. He took my hand pulled me up. I took my shirt which was on the floor and put it back on, in record time. Charlie entered and looked at me.

"Please, dad, can I have some privacy, please?"

"With Jacob?" he asked, incredulously.

"Of course, Charlie," Jacob laughed.

"Hey, I didn't…" I began but Charlie startled me by laughing. I stared at him. "What?" I asked.

"I guess that's alright." He said.

"Are you serious?" Jacob asked him. My jaw dropped.

Charlie became serious suddenly, "Are you joking? As if I'd let my eighteen-year old girl alone in her bedroom with her boyfriend!" He looked at me, and I took at step backwards.

"I'm nineteen, dad," I told him.

His expression changed suddenly, and he came to hug me. I hugged him back. "I came here to tell you that. Happy Birthday, Bells." He pulled back and became serious again. "But that doesn't change anything," he looked at Jacob. "Come downstairs, Jake."

"Just a minute, Charlie," Jacob said.

"No, right now."

"Forty-five seconds."

"Thirty seconds." Charlie said.

"Forty five," Jacob insisted.

"Right now," Charlie looked at him severely.

"Okay, thirty." Jake sighed.

Charlie turned away and left. "I'm counting."

Jacob was at my side at once. He leaned his forehead against mine, and placed his hand in mine. I lightly kissed his lips.

"I love you," I told him.

"That's the only thing I ask for," he said.

"The only thing?" I traced my hand on the muscles on his arms. "Are you sure?"

"Among other things," he smiled wickedly, and kissed my lips.

"Jake!" Charlie called from downstairs. I laughed, and pushed him outside.

"Go on," I said. He kissed me once more and left, closing the door behind him.

**[ ]**

I was sitting on Jacob's lap while Quil was driving and I couldn't stop smiling. We were going to spend the rest of the evening at Emily's. No one paid more attention to me than usual; no one had a present in his hands. In clear, it seems that everyone was ignoring my birthday. It felt like a normal day and, strangely enough, I liked it that way. If I didn't know better, I might think they got a word from my ex-vampire family restraining them from paying any particular attention to me on this non-special day.

I turned my head so that I could see Jacob's face and his eyes were closed. His arms were around my waist and my hands were on his.

"Are you sleeping?" I whispered.

"Hmm…trying anyway," he said without opening his eyes. I couldn't believe he paid me no more attention that that. _It's going to change_, I thought and laughed internally. I was feeling very devilish today. I shifted my position so that I was facing him and leaned down, pressing my lips to his neck. I heard him moan and I smiled. I traced my fingertips on his chest as my lips played with his ear. His right hand rubbed my back ever so slowly and he placed his left hand on my face, trying to pull my lips to his. I pulled back a bit and looked at him innocently.

"Didn't you want to sleep?"

"I changed my mind." He closed the distance and kissed me fiercely. Lust overwhelmed me and desire overpowered my common sense. My fingers knotted in his hair as he pulled me closer to him.

"Aww! Not that in my car, please. Wait till you're alone," I heard Quil complain, and I blushed; I had forgotten him. I realized I had pulled back when Jake began kissing my jaw.

"Forget him," he murmured.

"We're here," Quil said.

"Go ahead, we'll join you," Jacob told him, kissing my neck, as shivers ran down my spine. My arms were around his waist and all I wanted was for us to be alone at least once, but Quil interrupted us once again.

"Um…Jake? I think you better come now."

Jacob remained still for a moment, and then pulled back.

"Oh… yeah."

I looked at him curiously but he pulled me off his lap. We got out of the car and he took my hand. He still wouldn't look at me. He opened the door and I almost collapsed to the ground.

"Now," I heard someone whisper.

"SURPRISE!!" They shouted in unison.

**What do you think of it? Once again, sorry for the long wait. To apologize, I'm already working on chapter 13. I'm at about half, so it will be up very soon. But if you review, I'll type even faster. Thank you, and don't forget to review!** **Love you all!**


	13. Happier Memories

**Hiya guys, I wanna say a great thank you to all those who reviewed! I was amazed! I'm really really grateful and you have to thank the fact that I'm in holidays so I can write more. Very soon, I will be very busy with Christmas, New Year, and then school, so I won't have much time. That's why I'm trying to finish this story before next year. Anyway, love you guys!**

The door opened and I almost collapsed to the ground. "Now," I heard someone whisper.

"Surprise!" They shouted in unison.

My eyes widened as I took everything in. There were about three dozen people and music was playing really loud that I was surprised the neighbours didn't complain. Then I realized that most of the neighbourhood was probably stacked inside. There were decorations everywhere and too many memories buried deep inside began to resurface. I felt my eyes beginning to water.

"You're crying?" Jacob approached. I looked away, knowing too well how he would be able to see the truth in my eyes.

"Happy tears," I barely managed to say. "I'll be right back." I headed to the bathroom and entered. I closed the door and sat down, leaning against it for support.

It usually hurt to think of them. That's why I avoided it at all cost. I didn't like to remember them, to remember their words, their promises. I hated them. I hated what they did to me. Today on my birthday, as I hid into this little bathroom, realization hit me, and I knew that I had been avoiding memories of them because I had been hiding my hate. All I was seeing was the pain and the tears, but all there was was hate. Edward told me he loved me a hundred times; he made me _feel_ he loved me. Every touch, every kiss screamed love. Then he left me, making sure to rip me apart, taking whatever I had ever wanted.

And Alice. Alice who was my best friend and my sister. She left along with him, without a goodbye. Not that I would have been able to stop her even if she had said goodbye. I trusted her so much; If only I'd had her, even if Edward left. Edward's absence would have been more bearable if only Alice had stuck with me. If only she had choose me instead of him. If only I hadn't lost an entire family; an entire future.

Vampires were truly the most shameless and hateful creatures I've ever known in all my life. James, Laurent and Victoria were somehow more humane than the Cullens were. What they did were only physical; I didn't mind going through whatever they had in store for me a millionth time, if it would just erase what the Cullens did.

James, Laurent and even Victoria-Victoria, which I feared the most- hadn't been able to finish off with me. Damn, even nature hadn't been able to! All the trouble I ran into hadn't been enough to kill me, but the Cullens had. Because they had another tactic. They killed me with their 'love' and 'affection'. Yes, I was dead. I wasn't alive anymore. I died in the woods the day Edward told me I was unwanted and unwantable, and left without a backward glance.

I put my head in my hands and I realized that the tears had overwhelmed my face. I tried to brush them off but they stuck there. I stood up and went to the sink. I opened the tap and splashed water on my face. The cold water helped a little and it eased my eyes.

The tears stopped after a few minutes and I looked at my face in the mirror. I didn't look that bad; I had spent so much time crying during the last year that it now had little effect on my face. I opened my bag and was glad that I always carried make up along with me even if I rarely used it. I put on eyeliner and a pale lipstick. Then I passed my fingers lightly in my hair.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I heard Jake call, as he knocked softly on the door.

I closed my eyes as memories of my last birthday party threatened to overwhelm me.

"Yes, I'm coming."

I looked at myself once again in the mirror. I worked up my perfect smile and when I was satisfied, I turned away, grabbed my bag and headed outside with Jake at my side. As I walked, _Lucky_ by Britney Spears was playing inside my head.

_Time to make up perfect smile_

_It's you they're all waiting for_

Jacob grabbed my hand and looked at me. "You wanted to be able to put some make up, huh? Don't worry, you're always presentable," he smiled.

I smiled back, "You know me too well."

"Bella, sweetheart," Charlie called as soon as Jacob and I appeared. I waved at him and he smiled. Jacob and I stood in a corner, and he was introducing me to every person I didn't know.

I had practically met everyone when Embry approached with a little girl in his arms.

"Hello, Bella." I don't think you've met her yet. This is Claire," Embry tickled the little girl and the latter wriggled in his arms, giggling.

"Oh she's so lovely. Hello Claire. My name is Bella," I smiled at her.

She looked at Embry, who nodded and smiled at her, and then looked back at me.

"Hello, Bella," She stretched her arms towards me and I didn't hesitate. I took her in my arms and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Yaw're so beauteeful, Bella."

"You are prettier," I told her.

"Naw, naw!" She insisted.

"Yes," I laughed.

I hadn't realized that Jacob and Embry had left us when I saw them across the room.

"What yawr age?" Claire asked me, placing a hand on my neck.

"I'm nineteen today cutie. What about you?" Claire stretched one hand in front of her and showed me two fingers.

"Two!"

We spent some more time together and then someone announced that it was time to cut the cake. The cake was brought in front of me and all the guests surrounded us. I was uncomfortable from all this attention but, hopefully, I was not alone.

"You want to help me blow the candles, sweetie?" I asked Claire.

"Yay!!" she clapped her hands and bounced in my arms.

"Calm down, Claire," I heard someone say.

"Okay on three. One…two…three!"

Claire and I bent down at the same time and blew out the candles. All blew out except one. I kept trying to blow it but it stayed lit.

"I help yew?" Claire asked.

"Yes, please."

She bent down again and blew out the candle, but she lost her balance. I tired to prevent her from falling in the cake but only half-succeeded. Her face was already covered in cream when I managed to steady her. I began to apologize but her reaction stopped me. She looked at me, smiling wickedly, and then took a great amount of cream in her hand. I watched her with wide, shocked, eyes as she put the cream on my face. Then she burst out laughing. Hearing her laugh, and imagining in what state I surely was, I began to laugh too.

"Hapee burtday, Bella!" She cried.

The cake was cut and shared. Jacob was beside me, laughing his ass off. I took his handkerchief from his pocket, glaring at him, and tried without much success to wipe the cream off my face. Embry was with Claire in the bathroom.

"You could help me," I said, annoyed.

Jacob was biting his lips but he couldn't stop laughing. Wickedly, I took a piece of cake and shoved it in his face.

"Hey!" He cried as I laughed at him.

"You should respect me, young man, I'm way older than you," I told him.

"Not very much," he grumbled, snatching the handkerchief from me.

"Hey! I'm not finished!" I punched his arm, "Give it back!"

Jacob walked away, much too quickly. He was running away? I laughed out loud; he was acting like a kid. He turned around and he was grinning.

"Fine! I'm going to the bathroom," I called after him, though I would have talked quietly and he would still have heard it.

"Do you want some help?" he chuckled.

"No, I'll be fine."

The rest of the party passed in a blur. We danced, listened to the anecdotes every single person seemed to have, and danced some more. I managed not to drink and my clumsiness bothered me but no one seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't show it. My bad mood of earlier had been replaced by an overwhelming happiness, and I could only be grateful. The party ended at about three in the morning, and after having thanked everyone for their presence, Emily suggested that we stayed at her place. Charlie said he was going home, so that left only me, Jacob, Quil, Crystal and Seymour.

Sam gave us all sleeping bags, and since none of us was tired, we decided to play Truth and Dare. I was very skeptical; I was never up for this kind of game, but since the other available option was to sleep, I agreed to play, praying that it wouldn't be too embarrassing.

JPOV

We were playing Truth and Dare. The dares asked so far were pretty simple, like going into Sam's and Emily's room and flirt with Sam. Poor Seymour. Sam was sleeping and had almost mistaken him for Emily; it was hilarious.

"Truth or Dare, Izzy?" Crystal asked.

"Truth," Bella replied. She had been avoiding saying Dare since the beginning and by the look of anticipation in Crystal's eyes, I knew why.

"Is it true that you tried to seduce your little boyfriend sitting here in bed with you the night we went to the night club?" I glanced at Bella and she was staring at Crystal, mouth wide opened. She threw a pillow at Crystal, "I'll get back at you, big mouth!"

"Answer the question, Bella!" Quil laughed, though he already knew the answer. He had even asked me if I was gay when he saw that I had told Bella no.

"Yes, answer," Crystal was laughing uncontrollably.

"Yes, I did; but for my defense, I was drunk!" She threw another pillow at her.

"There's got to be some drinks around here, don't you think? I'd love to see that Bella," Seymour teased her.

Crystal only smacked his head, "It's your turn to ask."

"Okay, Truth or Dare?" he asked her.

"Throw in a dare," she said.

"I dare you to kiss someone in this room."

I sighed. If he had wanted a kiss, he might just have kissed her. Crystal approached her face to his and I sighed once again looking away. I was starting to feel asleep. Suddenly I heard Quil's laughter and I looked at him; he was staring at Bella and…Crystal…kissing? What? My jaw dropped. Seymour had a bewildered expression on his face. I looked back at the girls and I felt myself harden. This scene was hot! Crystal had a hand on Bella's face and they were…French kissing? Just as I was starting to believe that I was hallucinating, they pulled apart and burst out laughing.

"Shh…" Bella said, "Sam and Emily are sleeping."

"Are you sure they're sleeping?" Crystal asked her.

"I don't want to know," Bella whispered, getting up. "I need a drink."

She was making her way to the kitchen when I got up. The guys hadn't got out of their shocked posture.

"Bella, you won't drink," I took her by the arm and led her back.

"I'm thirsty," she frowned.

"You remember last time you drank?"

"I didn't mean alcohol, but some water." She explained.

"Oh"

She was back seconds later with a glass of water. She sat beside me and I put my arm around her shoulders. She pulled back and I looked at her, confused.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," she said.

She put her head in my lap and pulled the sheets to her waist. I pulled her hair out of the ponytail and passed my fingers through it.

"Happy?" I asked.

"Very," she smiled. She took one of my hands and kissed it. "Thank you."

I leaned down and kissed her lips softly.

"I love you," I said.

I was pulling away when she put her hand on the side of my face and pulled me into a sweet kiss.

**Dear readers, I'm very undecided and I need your advice on something. I know that this fanfic is rated T but some of you have asked me to put some lemon. I'm going to warn you: I still don't know if I'm going to do it. For some reasons** **there might be some lemon but for the same reasons, there might not be any. Firstly, I'm not sure if I will be able to write it, 'cause I have no experience whatsoever in that type of writing; but I'm okay to give it a try. If I find myself unable to do it, I'll stop altogether, but before even trying, I need your opinion. Some reviewers have advised me to do it, but only two or three, so nothing is decided yet. You might not be okay with it.**

**So I need your advice, guys! Please! You can tell me in a review or you can message me. Anyway, every opinion will be considered. And if you have some advice about it, considering that I am inexperienced, feel free to message me! Thank you for everything!**


	14. I Do

**Okay guys, before you start threatening and cursing me for the long wait, let me give you your Christmas present. Ta-da! For this special occasion you do not get one but two chapters! Plus a couple of surprises in them! I hope this excuses the wait 'cause I really wanted to give you this on Christmas and I figured that one chapter wouldn't be enough. I know you love me! Lol. Happy Christmas to all of you!**

I woke up the next morning, cuddled in Jacob's arms. I had a strange feeling waking up in his arms. Waking up everyday in Edward's arms relieved me; I was glad that he hadn't left; but this was a different sensation. I wondered what we were going to do today, and the next day, and the next. I knew he would never leave; that he'd always be there, making my days not only happier, but also memorable. I loved waking up in Jake's arms, even though it didn't happen often. I looked up at his face and I had an irresistible urge to touch him. I hesitated, my hand near his face, and then lightly touched his cheekbone. His face was so hot that it literally burned my fingers. I traced every outline of his beautiful face; from his eyelids to his chin. Then my thumb traced his lips and lingered there. A greater urge than touching him hit me; I wanted to kiss him, to taste his mouth, to feel his hot lips against mine even once.

"That feels amazing, you know," Jacob said, his eyes suddenly open. I didn't hesitate; I leaned down and planted my mouth on his. He was surprised for a quarter of a second, and then he kissed me hungrily. His lips were maybe the part of him I liked the most. He smiled when I pulled back.

"That's definitely my favourite way of waking up. What was that for?" he asked.

I smiled and kissed him once…twice…thrice, and then added, "Special treat for being the best boyfriend ever. I love waking up next to you."

He grinned and pulled my face down to his face. His tongue traced the shape of my lips, and he said in between kisses, "What are you doing the rest of your life?"

"What?" I asked confused. He was nibbling on my lower lip, his hand at my waist and it was very hard to think clearly. His heat burned his through my shirt. He didn't reply so I pulled back.

"What did you say?"

He smiled shyly. "This isn't how I'd pictured this, but it will have to do."

He pulled away and before I could protest, I was on my feet and he was holding my hands in his. He bent down on one knee, never once breaking eye contact, and I gasped.

Oh my God. My head started spinning and my heart began a race against I-had-no-idea-what. Oh my God.

"Bella, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before, and I promise to do it every single day of my life." He reached in his pocket and I stopped breathing. There was a small black, velvet box in his hands and when he opened it, I almost fainted. The face was oval, with a delicate and narrow golden band, which made a web around the diamonds.

"Will you marry me?"

I know I should have said something, anything, but I just stared at him, my mouth unable to open. So many thoughts were racing in my mind. When I finally regained the use of my mouth, I began to stutter.

"I… you…Jake, are…" I closed my eyes. There were lots of things that could have been said at this moment, as he watched me, on one knee, with hopeful eyes; but I couldn't think of any.

"Yes," I said simply, and I realized how true that felt. I realized how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, waking up next to him every morning, and share my every thought with him.

He smiled bigger than I'd ever seen him and stood up. He slipped the ring on my finger and tears escaped my eyes, even though I pressed my eyelids tightly closed. Jacob's fingers gently brushed the tears off and leaned in closer so that my forehead was touching his.

"I'm so happy," he said.

"Yes."

"I love you," he caressed my cheek, and brushed my hair off my face.

"Yes," I said again.

"You've already said that," he pointed, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Yes," I felt like an idiot, but I couldn't say anything else. "When the wedding?" I asked as I slowly regained control of my emotions.

"Today if I had my way," he said, "but I'll wait until you're ready. I can wait forever."

I smiled. He knew exactly what I wanted, what I needed. My eyes flickered to his lips and I kissed him softly. It was a sweet and loving kiss. Like a promise.

"I love you." I had no idea which one of us said it, and I couldn't care less. I was in the arms of the man I loved and honestly, I couldn't wish better.

Jacob and I sat on the couch, my back against his chest, and his arms around my waist. We didn't talk; each one of us engrossed in his own thoughts. Now and then Jacob would place a kiss on my neck and rest his cheek against mine, making me sigh happily. I couldn't believe I got so lucky; I got to keep Jacob forever. My thoughts drifted to what my life would have been like if Edward had loved me; if he'd asked me to marry him.

We would live happily; I honestly believed it. Alice would continually force me to shopping while I would race Emmett, and bet against Jasper. Rosalie and I would probably become friends since we had forever to work to it. We would all go to school endless times and I'd eventually stop being clumsy. I would forever be young and beautiful.

And with Jacob, what kind of life would I have? I would always be loved; that much I was sure of. We would spend our time with the pack, I would eventually grow up and I would get to stay with my friends. Crystal, Angela and I would grow even more inseparable with time; Jacob and I would become parents and grandparents one day, and we would always be together. We would watch the days go by with, hopefully, no regrets. Most of all, I would never feel inferior, or think that I wasn't worth it. I would be his equal.

I pulled back from Jacob's embrace to face him. I smiled. My heart was so full of love it could burst any second. Where was the hole that ripped my chest apart every time I thought about Edward, or Alice, or even Rosalie? Where was the pain that weighed so heavily on my shoulders? I took a deep breath and smiled. I could breathe without any difficulty and I wondered at what time this change had occurred.

Jacob was looking at me with a peculiar expression on his face, so I leaned towards him and kissed him to make him know everything was alright. He could tell something was different, and I was as excited to tell him, so I didn't protest when he pulled back.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

He placed a hand on my chest. "Here?"

I nodded, not sure if I could speak. I knew it probably meant nothing for him, but his hand was at my chest, and my heart was beating frantically.

"See? You just needed time," he said.

"No. I just needed you." I leaned closer to him once more and my lips met his. My lips moved in a way they had never moved before now that I was free; free and independent.

I hovered on top of him and his hands cupped my face as he deepened the kiss. My tongue traced the shape of his lips and they parted under mine. His tongue was wet and hot and I could let it caress mine; his tongue could linger in my mouth without fearing the risk of venom. His arms went around my waist and clasped me tightly to him. We continued like this for what seemed like hours, neither of us wanting to break the kiss. Now and then we would break apart, gasping for air, but as soon as we took one breath, our lips would meet again.

"Ahem!" someone cleared his throat. I pulled back from Jacob and looked over my shoulder. I saw Crystal grinning, hands on her hips.

"Yes?" I asked innocently.

She laughed out loud.

"Shh! You'll wake the others!"

"Might as well wake them up. They wouldn't want to miss this scene." She pointed to me and Jacob. I glared at her and kissed Jake once more time before standing up.

"What did you want?" I asked her.

I never found out what she wanted because her eyes were fixed on my ring. "Oh my God!" she closed the distance between us and took my left hand. "Is that what I think it is?" she looked at Jacob who was now standing beside me.

"Yep."

She looked once more at the ring and then hugged me tightly. She then hugged Jacob. "Welcome in the family, pretty boy." She was grinning widely when she pulled back, and she bounced me up and down, babbling on:

"It's going to be so much fun to organize this! We'll have to go to this place I know and chose the flowers. Oh! I saw an amazing wedding dress the- Oh! I have to call Angela!

I smiled at Jacob. We'd tell her later that the wedding isn't for now. Crystal searched for her phone in her bag.

"Got it!" she grinned.

She was dialing Angela's number when Jacob put his arms around my waist and pressed me against the wall. He lifted me up and kissed me passionately. I put my arms around his neck and knotted my fingers in his hair, pressing him closer to me. One of his hand ran down my side and put my hitched my leg around his hip. I did the same with the other one; I loved how his body molded with mine perfectly. He pressed his hips to mine and I gasped.

"Oh please! Get a room!" I heard Crystal whine distantly.

"Care to take her offer on that?" Jacob whispered against my lips. "There's a guest room in here."

He put a hand on my chin and lifted my face up so that he could reach my neck. I shivered when his mouth touched my skin. I was breathing so heavily it was embarrassing.

"In Emily's and Sam's house? They will never invite us again," I said.

I felt someone tap on my shoulder.

"I'm on the phone, please," Crystal said. "You can resume that later, and besides, I think the others are waking up."

I blushed, and pulled away from Jacob. "She's right," I told him.

He tightened his grip on me. "Oh please," he whined.

"Later," I said and pecked his lips.

We went to sit on the couch and right on cue, Emily and Sam arrived. Crystal was still on the phone.

"No, she's not hurt," there was a pause. "It's nothing like that," she sighed. "Come here quick, that's all I'm going to say for now." She giggled at something Angela said. "Yes, of course, who else? Okay see you then."

Crystal went to the kitchen. "She's coming!" she called over her shoulder.

"Come on, all of you! Breakfast is almost ready," Emily called.

We got up and walked to the kitchen, hand in hand.

"Good morning," I said. I saw Sam exchange a look with Jacob, who nodded. I went over to Emily.

"Need help?" I asked.

"No, I'm almost finished. Take a seat."

"Do we have to wait for Angela or can I tell the news now?" Crystal asked. She was practically bouncing up and down on her seat, so I told her we would tell Angela later. After hearing the news, they all came to hug me. Quil was just waking up and arrived in the kitchen just as Sam was releasing me.

To my surprise, he came to hug me too, even though he didn't know the new, or so I thought. He noticed my puzzled expression and said, "I already knew, Bella. The pack mind, remember?"

**{****}**

These times I seemed to spend my time making out with Jacob, stopping just before we got 'carried away' as he said. Today was no exception. Only this time I wasn't sure if I had the intention of stopping

I was on my bed and Jacob was sleeping downstairs on the couch. I was hesitating between going to find him and letting him sleep. I decided to let him sleep and at that time, I could get some sleep too. I pressed my face to the pillow and closed my eyes when I felt two hands encircling me. I knew better than to be afraid by now, so I rolled to the side and snuggled closer. As usual, he wasn't wearing a shirt and I found him utterly irresistible.

I ran my hand across his chest and marveled once again at his beauty before he captured my lips in the most passionate kiss, while he pulled me on top of him. My heart was already racing by the time the hand that was at the small of my back went a little higher, pulling my shirt along with it. I was starting to get dizzy so I pulled back a little. Even then, his lips never left my skin. His lips traced along my jaw, to my neck and ear, and I couldn't think any longer. I brought my lips to his neck and from there, I went lower, my hands caressing his chest.

By the time he realized what I was doing, my lips had reached his chest. I could hear his heavy breathing and I smiled at the effect I had on him. I traced my fingertips on his stomach before my lips, preparing him, but the moment my lips touched his stomach, he shuddered, and his breath hitched. I decided to stop teasing him, but his hands reached for me and he brought me to his lips again.

He kissed me hungrily while his left hand pulled my shirt higher. The contact of his hot hand on my bare skin almost brought me back to reality. Almost. I still kissed him passionately while he took off my shirt, and ran his hands across the back of my bra.

If the contact of his hand didn't bring me back to reality, the sound of Charlie's car in the driveway surely did. I quickly stood up and almost fell down, but Jacob's arms were already around my waist.

"Thanks," I said. I pulled back when he didn't release me," Charlie's here."

"I thought you were going to corrupt my youthful innocence," he pouted.

I laughed. "Maybe next time," then I backtracked, "forget I said that."

"No way," he tried to kiss me, but I pulled back.

"Get downstairs before Charlie enters."

Then I heart Charlie calling, "Bella?" I shoved Jacob in the bathroom, and called back, "Coming!" I put my shirt back on and straightened my hair. Then I went downstairs.

"Hi, dad!"

"I thought you planned to spend the day with Jacob," he said.

"Yes. He… is in the bathroom." He eyed me suspiciously.

"Jacob was in your room?" My heart stopped and I blushed.

"Yes, Charlie. I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Jacob said behind me. I blushed deeper.

"Hmm," he turned around and mumbled something unintelligible. When he was gone, I turned to Jacob.

"Why did you say that?"

"Honesty is the best policy," he said simply.

"It won't happen again?" I asked, amused.

"Well a lie is also good from time to time." He kissed me softly. "Are you very angry?" he asked.

"No," I sighed. "I love you."

He smiled. "I love you more. So we're going to tell Charlie?"

I gulped. Charlie liked Jacob a lot, but I'd be willing to bet he would think this marriage was hasty. Jacob noticed my stillness and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Why are you so tensed suddenly?" He's not going to freak. Well, maybe a little, but he's your dad, right?" I'm sure he'll be happy for us." I smiled at Jacob. He always knew what to say. I took a deep breath and called Charlie.

"Dad, can you come in here for a minute?"


	15. Unexpected Visitor

**Don't blink! It might just disappear…**

"Isabella Marie Swan, are you pregnant?" he hadn't sounded angry at all. He had sounded a little hopeful, which had shocked me. Surely he couldn't want me to be pregnant at nineteen, right?

"No, dad. Of course not," I promised. "Well, Jacob and I, we're…well…kind of…hmm…how to say it…" _Stupid, stupid words! We're getting married. It's not that difficult! Say it! _

"What is it, Bells?" He glanced at Jacob, who answered.

"We're getting married."

"WHAT?" he yelled. I was so shocked that I couldn't move or say anything. That seemed to infuriate him even more. "You're not getting married, you hear me?"

"Dad, it's not…" I started.

"I said no!" he cut me.

I was angry at that point, and that could only lead to one thing: tears.

"You cannot tell me what to do! This decision is mine to take," I told him.

"Charlie, it's not a quick decision. We've talked it through and it was bound to happen sooner or later. You know how much we…" Jacob had intervened but Charlie was too stubborn to care.

"Jacob, I'm talking to my daughter. If you think…"

Dad! You have no right to talk to him like that." I looked at Jacob. "Will you please come back later?"

"He's not coming back! You are not coming back into this house again, you hear me?" At that time he was fuming, but I ignored him.

"I'll deal with it, don't worry," I told Jacob.

"No, Bella. I will…"

"Please, Jake," I pleaded. He held my gaze for a long moment, maybe trying to see if I was very determined, and then put a hand on the side of my face.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. He was about to turn back but I stood on my toes and kissed him softly once.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you, too," and he left.

I turned back at Charlie. "Now can you tell me why you have a problem with this marriage?"

He avoided my question. "I mean it, Bella. You are not to see him again."

"For God's sake Charlie, we're getting married! And you ask me not to see him again?"

"You are not marrying him!" Charlie yelled.

"It's Jacob, dad! You like him!" This didn't make any sense. If it had been Edward, I would have understood, but what did he have against Jacob?

"From now on, I don't!"

My cheeks were already stained with tears and I yelled back, "We're going to get married, whether you like it or not!" And I stormed out of the house before he got a chance to say another word.

I got in my truck and drove the familiar way to the Cullen's house. I have no idea why I went there, but I sat down on the steps in front of the house and cried. Charlie had no right to tell me what I could or couldn't do. I was an adult, and he, of all people, should know that I wasn't the type of person to take a decision like that without thinking it thoroughly and making sure that was what I wanted. Besides, it wasn't as if we were getting married today itself. I didn't really want to wait till I finished college but it wasn't for now.

"Bella?"

My head snapped up as I heard a voice I never thought I would ever hear again. There he stood, flawless, watching me as I got up.

Jasper

I ran at him and collided with his hard figure.

"Ow!" I rubbed my stomach. This hurt like hell. I looked back at him and his expression seemed confused. We hadn't spent much time together, but I realized I had missed him, and threw my arms around him.

"Bella?" he asked hesitantly.

"Shut up, Jasper" I muttered, and I knew he could hear me. I wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as it lasted. Who cared that it wasn't the Cullen I most wanted to see? Who cared that if only it had been Alice I would have been the happiest girl on earth? I didn't.

After some times I looked up at him and I realized that his arms were around me.

"Jasper?"

"I thought I was supposed to shut up," he chuckled. I smiled.

"I've missed you so much," I told him.

"Me?" he sounded surprised.

"Of course, silly!" I've missed every single member of the Cullen family.

"How are you, Bella?"

"I'm fine, and you?"

"I've been better," he talked so softly that I didn't know if it was meant for me to hear or not.

"Why? Has something happened to Alice?"

"No, she's fine. Nothing has happened. Well, not in the way you're thinking."

We were silent for sometimes, but then I realized that maybe I didn't have much time with him, and I still didn't know the reason of his presence. Were they coming back? Were they already here? I had so many questions and so little time.

"Why are you in Forks?" I asked him.

He looked at me sadly. "I just…needed some time away from all this…pain and this remorse. It's too much for me to bear.

He wasn't making any sense. Pain? Remorse? What did that mean? He noticed my puzzled expression and smiled.

"Since we left it…hasn't been the same. They all miss you so much; Alice the worst. Their emotions are too much for me. They try to block it though, to not make this so hard for me, but they aren't very good at it," he laughed sadly. "We don't see Edward much; he is away most of the time, but when he visits, it's unbearable for me to stay. I can feel all this pain and this remorse. He feels so guilty to have told you all those things and so mad sometimes. I think he is angry at you, sometimes, to have believed him so easily. And then from time to time, there is…loneliness. It was too much for me to bear, and I just had to get away for some time. When I came here, I had no intention on letting you know. I know it must have been hard for you and I didn't want to make it worst by…"

"You were planning on going back without visiting me?" I asked him.

"Yes," he admitted.

I smacked his head, the way Rosalie used to do it with Emmett, even thought I was probably more hurt than jasper.

"I would never have forgiven you had you come here without meeting me, you hear me?"

"Yeah, sorry." He was looking at me hesitantly, and I raised one eyebrow.

"What?" I asked him.

"Can I ask you something?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Jasper."

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh," I said, "I don't know. I…sort of had a fight with Charlie, and I didn't know where to go. I just…needed to get away," I smiled. "Like you."

"That's why you were crying?" he asked softly.

I blushed. Great. He had to see me cry.

"Yes. He is opposed to my…" I stopped. Marriage. I sighed. Should I tell him? I didn't know if it was the right thing to do. After all, he was a member of my ex-future family.

"Your what? Let me guess. Tattoo?" I shook my head. "Piercing?"

I laughed. "Am I the type of girl to get a piercing?"

He looked at me for a second and smiled, "No. Not really," he paused. "Buying a car?" I shook my head. Where did he get that from? "Dropping college?" I looked at him, wondering how much time it would take till he got bored. Considering he was over a hundred years, it would take a lot to bore him.

"That's it?" he asked, proud of himself.

"No."

"Then why were you watching me like that?"

"Because you suck at this game," I told him.

I showed him my left hand. He gasped. "You're married?"

"Not yet," I smiled as I thought about Jacob; but my smile faded as quickly as it had come when I thought of Charlie.

"Mike Newton?" he asked.

I made a disgusted face. "Ew!"

He laughed, "Sorry."

_Here goes the important question_, I thought. "How much time are you staying?"

He thought about it for a minute before answering, "Not long. I can't stay away from Alice for too long."

"Why didn't she come with you?" My tone was disapproving.

"Edward doesn't visit much, so when he does, Alice likes to say with him."

"Where are you staying?" I asked him.

"Right now in Alaska," he paused. "How have you been, Bella?"

I took my time to arrange my words, so that they would be true when I finally spoke them. "Pretty bad, actually. There was always this hole in my chest, ripping me apart every time I thought of any of you. It had been a long time since I'd been able to breathe normally, but then one day I went to see Jacob. My future husband," I explained when I saw his puzzled expression. "We spent a lot of time together and we grew pretty close. At first it was just friendship; I wasn't ready for another relationship; he was very patient and after some time I gave in. We've been together for some months now, and today he asked me to marry him. It's not for now of course. Well, we told Charlie and…he freaked. I don't understand his reaction. He knows I'm mature enough to take a decision like that."

"I think you should talk to him, Bella," Jasper said.

"I've tried to, but he's too stubborn."

"Like you."

I glared at him and he chuckled. "Still got a temper, I see."

I smiled apologetically, "Sorry."

He took my hand and I jumped a bit. I had forgotten how cold they were. Jacob was like a space heater and that was what I was used to now. He misinterpreted my reaction and dropped my hand immediately.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"No, it's just that I'd forgotten how cold you were." I put my hand in his again. He was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his voice was very gentle.

"You should talk to your father, Bella. I'm sure he has his reasons. No yelling this time, okay?" He looked directly in my eyes and his topaz ones reminded me so much of Edward that I was dazzled. I could only nod. He was looking so intently in my eyes that I was difficult to think. I shook my head.

"Did you just dazzle me, Mr. Cullen?" I almost laughed at how this sounded familiar.

"Did I what?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"You're going to talk to your father?" he asked.

"I don't know," I admitted, making sure to keep my eyes on the ground this time. "He's acting like a child."

"Then be the adult."

I snorted. If only it was that easy. I snuggled closer to him. "I'll miss you when you're gone. Do you really have to leave?"

"Yes, Bella. I should never even have come here, but I'm glad I met you. It was nice talking to you. Edward is going to be mad, though. He doesn't want us to interfere."

"Well, I'm glad you came."

He pulled back and got up. "I have to go, Bella." I got up too and he pulled me in his arms. "I'm sorry for everything; sorry about what happened at your birthday. I feel so ashamed."

"Don't be, Jasper." I looked up and put my hand on his cheek. It was as cold as his hand, but so, _so_ soft. "It's not your fault. I assume Alice told you? I meant what I said: I wasn't mad."

"We left because of me, Bella," he said.

"He would have left anyway, Jasper. The birthday party was just an excuse." I smiled then, remembering Alice. "Say hi to Alice for me."

"I don't think I'm going to tell her. It will make her sad she didn't come with me; and she'll want to come here, which will make Edward mad."

"You won't come again, then?" I whispered, afraid of your answer.

"I don't think so."

"You should tell Alice, though. Tell her I love her. If she feels guilty for not having said goodbye, tell her it was better that way. I miss my best friend, jasper; but I'm not sad anymore. I'm going to start a new life and I hope she does the same; I hope you all do the same," I sighed. "I love you, Jasper. I'll miss you. In a way, you're coming here gave me the goodbye I never had, and I'm glad." I hugged him tightly for a minute then pulled away.

"Go to your family, Jasper," I told him.

"Thank you, Bella. I love you too. Talk to Charlie." I laughed as he kissed my forehead.

"You look so old when you do that! Come on, grandparents kiss children on the forehead." I pointed at my cheek. "Here."

He kissed me on the cheek and I grinned.

"Good bye, Jasper."

"Good bye, Bella. Take care of yourself."

I watched him go, still smiling. I hopped in my truck and drove home, more carefree than I had been in a long time.

I got out of my truck and hesitated before going inside. I looked up at the sky; it was dark. I wondered what time it was. Charlie, Jacob or even Crystal would tell me that staying in the woods for so much time was dangerous; but I couldn't be safer with one Cullen by my side. Jasper. I smiled. Did his presence here make it hard for me? No, it didn't. It made me feel so good, even though I knew I would never meet him or anyone else again. I shook my head and went inside; no need to dwell on that. I had more important things to do. Like talking with Charlie. He was in the living room and he was watching TV. I had to talk to him now, or I'd chicken out.

"Hi, Dad," I said.

"Hi," he replied. Could it get more awkward? "Where have you been?"

"I just needed to walk a bit." And I met Jasper, you know, the brother of the guy who dumped me. We talked about you. Want some pizza?

"Jacob has been calling the last few hours. I lost count," he said mater-of-factly.

"Oh." That was the kind of information I would have thought he would keep from me. What happened to all the yelling, screaming and threats?

I knew I had to talk to him, to explain the whole marriage thing thoroughly, but I couldn't get it out. "I'm going to call him," I said, waiting for the time he would start yelling again. That's why I was surprised when all he said was:

"Okay."

I took the phone and went to my room. I sat on the bed and dialed Jacob's number. He answered on the first ring.

"Bella?" he answered breathlessly. I smiled.

"Hey, Jake."

"How are you? Where have you been? I've been calling since I arrived home. How…"

"Calm down, Jacob," I told him. "I'm fine. I just went for a walk. You will never guess who I met."

"Who?"

"Jasper."

"Huh?" His tone was surprised.

"Edward's brother," I explained.

"What? What is he doing here? Are they back?" His voice turned desperate. "Bella… please tell me…"

"Jake," I said sternly.

"What?" he asked.

"Calm down. Have you had coke?"

"Yeah, why?"

I laughed. "'cause you're high."

"Belle…" he began.

"They are not back. He was just passing by and I was by their house. He saw me and we talked. It was nice."

There was a long silence, and after some time, Jacob talked again.

"Do you miss them, Bella? Do you miss _him_?"

"Yes, I do, Jake. I miss all of them; but I have you and it's all that counts. I love _you_, Jacob. You are my life now."

"I love you too, Bella. But sometimes I think that maybe you still want to be with him. I'm scared, Bella. I'm scared of losing you."

There were tears in my eyes as I spoke again. "Don't be scared. There's no need to be. I love you, and the only one I want to be with is you."

"Have you talked to Charlie?"

"Not really. After you left it was pretty bad. I don't understand, Jake. I really don't. I wish I knew why he's acting like this. And I'm sad. I don't like to fight with him. You know I'm going to marry you whatever he says… but…that doesn't mean I don't want him to be happy with me. I'm scared this might turn our relationship around… in a bad way."

"Don't worry, it'll be okay. I'm sorry, Bella. This is all my fault; he's right: it _is_ a bit early."

"Do you regret asking me to marry you?" I asked.

"No, of course I don't, Bella. How could I regret it? I want to spend my life with you; but I don't want you to fight with Charlie because of me."

"It's not your fault, pretty body."

He laughed suddenly. "What is it?" I asked.

"Pretty boy. It's Crystal who calls me like that."

I laughed along with him. "Yeah."

"I love you, Bella. More than anything," he whispered.

"I love you too, Jacob Black."

He chuckled. "Do you realize that you will soon be Mrs. Isabella Black?"

"Soon?" I asked skeptically.

"Not soon enough."

I heard a knock on the door. "Bella?"

"Yes, dad?" I called back.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah sure, come in."

He entered and shut the door behind him.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," I told Jacob on the phone.

"Okay. Sleep well, Bella."

"You too. Sweet dreams."

I put the phone on my bedside table and looked back at Charlie. He came to sit on the bed and was silent for some minutes. I didn't dare speak up. I had to know what he wanted to talk about first.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have reacted like that; it was childish."

He looked at me and I couldn't stop myself from asking, "I only want to know why, dad, I mean, you like Jacob, right?"

"This isn't about Jacob, Bella." He paused. "This is about you…and me."

I don't understand, dad." I admitted.

He sighed. "Renee took you away from me nineteen years ago. I've always missed you so much and when you came here for the holidays, I could see you didn't like it here. We didn't get to spend much time together and I regretted it when you stopped coming. I didn't mind being alone because I was used to it; but then you came to stay with me and I got used to you. I got used to seeing you home when I arrived, not to east dinner alone anymore. I may be at work most of the time, but I'm still glad that you're here, and I got you only for two years Bella. It's too early; I'm not ready to let you go away.

I was so touched by his words that I went over to him and hugged him tightly. I never knew Charlie felt this way. I would have expected something like that from mum but Charlie? I would never have guessed. I pulled back and looked at him.

"You do realize I'll be going to college, right? I'll have to leave, anyway." I told him.

His expression was sad. "This marriage makes it all the more real."

"It's not for now, dad. Jacob just wanted to let me know how he feels. We won't be getting married anytime soon," I assured him.

"I've got at least one year?"

"Of course, dad."

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, dad; and I have a question for you. Why did you sound so hopeful when you asked me if you were pregnant?"

"I don't know…but I got the silly idea that if you were pregnant, considering the fact that you and Jacob were still in school, I'll have to take care of the baby. I mean, I would be needed," he looked at me severely, then. "That doesn't mean you can get pregnant. You're only nineteen."

I laughed. "It won't happen anytime soon, dad." I hugged him once more. "I love you."

{ }

I loved Sundays; Charlie went fishing with Billy, and Jacob would come here before I was even awake. I would wake up and he'd be there, sleeping. Like today. His long hair was all over his face and I brushed it back, then lay my head on his chest. Now that he was my fiancé I was happier than ever. I'd always thought that the word 'boyfriend' didn't describe him; he was always so much more than that.

He'd told me that the wedding didn't have to take place now; that we could go to college and then think about it later.

"I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me, and that I want to spend my life with you," he'd said.

I smiled. Mrs. Jacob Black. Mrs. Isabella Black. I loved the way it sounded.

I lay in bed for hours, just enjoying the moment. I felt his arms tightened around me.

"Hey," he said sleepily.

"Hey yourself," I smiled.

"You've been awake long?"

"Yep. I should have prepared breakfast. I forgot."

You're hungry?" he asked.

"Nope. You?"

"No."

"Wow. Since when aren't you hungry?" I asked, surprised. Since I knew Jacob he as always ravenous.

"Oh yes, I am hungry; just not of food." Before I could blink he was hovering on top of me, and his face was just inches from mine. "I'm hungry of you."

I leaned forward and kissed him, while his hands ran up and down my sides, doing extraordinary things to my body. I was glad he wasn't wearing a shirt because I don't think I could have waited to touch his perfectly, muscled chest. My hands traced every inch of his chest and when I arrived at his stomach, he shivered. He kissed me harder as I played with the elastic band of his shorts, teasing him.

His lips left mine and grazed my ear. "God, Bella, you're killing me."

I smiled. The time had finally arrived. I wanted him; I needed him. Badly. This topic had never been discussed before but I knew I only needed to tell him once and he would agree.

"Why?" I asked him. I kissed his neck once…twice. "I want you."

"Right now?" He teased. Hmm…he thought I was joking. Well I would have to show him how serious I was. I sucked on his neck, while my hands gripped his shoulders. "Yep, definitely right now." He chuckled.

He brought his lips back to mine and he pulled off the small tank top that I was wearing. His fingers lightly touched the back of my bra and I suddenly became nervous. What if he didn't like me? I mean, I wasn't experienced whatsoever. Well, neither was he but…

I shook my head slowly back and forth. I loved Jacob and he loved me; that was all that mattered. I felt his lips placing a kiss just at the corner of mine. Then I felt it again. Only this time it was on my cheek; then on my jaw, making its way downwards.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I brought his lips back to mine. I couldn't handle this torture. "Yes, I'm sure."

His hands went around me and unclasped my bra. He took it off ever so slowly and kissed from my collarbone to the valley between my breasts. I moaned softly and bit my lip. Could I get hotter?

I lay him flat on his back on the bed and brought my lips to his broad, muscled chest. I kissed every inch of his chest, just like I had done before with my hands, and put my right hand on his thigh. Suddenly I was lying flat on my back and he was kissing me, his hands cupping my face.

Suddenly I remembered something and pushed on his chest. I would never have been able to push him off by myself but he understood and pulled back; by the expression on his face I knew he feared I had changed my mind.

"Wait. Do you have protection?" I asked.

He nodded grinning. I grinned back and kissed his neck.

"Been preparing, haven't we?"

He just laughed.

I got off the bed and pulled down my pants and underwear. I looked back at Jacob and he was watching me with lust-filled eyes. I blushed, realizing no one had ever seen me like this.

"You're so beautiful," he said as his eyes took in my naked form.

He pulled of his shorts and closed the distance between us. He kissed me with a mixture of passion, love and desire, and no words were needed after that.


	16. The Calm Before The Storm

**JPOV**

Finally I arrived home; I don't know why I even thought I could stay away from Alice for so long but I knew I would never make that mistake again. That trip to Forks had been a mistake; I should never have gone. I don't know why I did, though. I was feeling so overwhelmed lately that I just had to get away, but even then, going to Forks? Where I knew Bella was…I smiled as I thought of Bella. She had seemed happy enough, and it was good. I was happy that she was going to have the life Edward wanted for her. At least our departure didn't go wasted.

I would have loved to meet her boyfriend. Secretly I was glad it wasn't Mike Newton. All the Cullens had an aversion to him; but then Bella had better taste than that.

Although this trip had been a mistake, it was nice talking to her. It was nice seeing her once more; I'd even made her blush! Emmett would be jealous. The problem was I couldn't tell anyone; well maybe Alice but that was it. I couldn't risk Edward knowing…I stopped dead. Edward. I hoped he wasn't here anymore. He no longer listened to our thoughts constantly but if something slipped… I would be dead.

I went directly in our room, Alice and I, carefully making sure not to think about Forks. Alice was sitting on a chair, in front of the mirror, brushing her short, black hair. She turned around when she heard me coming. Her eyes immediately lit up and she ran up to me.

"Jasper!" She threw her arms around my neck, and I hugged her tightly, breathing in her sweet smell deeply. She stood on her toes and kissed me deeply. God, I love this woman. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly to me.

"I've missed you, Jasper," she murmured.

"I've missed you, too; more than you can imagine."

I hadn't seen Edward so maybe he was already gone. I wondered if I should tell Alice about Bella. After all, I had a message to pass on to her, so I might as well not keep it from her. I opened my mouth to speak but I froze. Edward was standing in front of the door, with an expression of defeat on his face.

EPOV

I was headed to tell Alice I was leaving when I heard it.

_Should I tell Alice? After all I have a message to pass on. _

Then I saw an image of him and Bella sitting on the steps of our house in Forks in Jasper's mind. My long-dead heart leaped and I could have sworn I heard it beat again. Jasper had an arm around Bella's shoulders and she was leaning against his chest. She seemed even more beautiful than I remembered; at last I found a flaw in my seemingly flawless memory.

I realized I was in front of Alice's room when I saw Jasper turn towards me. I would have to see her again; how would I be able to resist gong back to her after that? Before I knew it, I was running. I had no idea where I ran to and I didn't care. How could Jasper do that to me? Going back to see her, meeting Bella behind my back, when every single day I had to force myself not to go there, not to contact her.

Not seeing her beautiful face, not hearing her voice, all those little things that made her Bella, the girl I loved. Not being able to see her eyes light up every time she saw me; not hearing the sound I loved the most: her heard racing as I kissed her. Not being able to hold her in my arms, to catch her whenever she fell. Not only were the day atrocious because I couldn't talk to her, but the nights were unbearable because I could no longer hold her in my arms till she fell asleep. At night the silence weighed so much…Not hearing her calling my name in her sleep; never again laugh at the nonsense she muttered when I was holding her at night. Not being able to do all those things was tearing me apart.

How could someone fill your existence so much in a few months? How could someone fill the void that you never knew existed by a simple smile? After more than a hundred years of thinking I was complete in every way possible, she came and changed my vision of life. After having tasted to the sweetest forbidden treasure, how could someone go back to what he was used to, like nothing happened?

Rage engulfed me as I wondered if my entire family had betrayed me. Was it only Jasper, or was every single member of my family paying visits to Bella behind my back, when all this time I had been feeling so helpless… No. It had to be only Jasper, or I would have found out; but why? And how much time has this been going on? Was it ever since we left, or just recently? Was it the reason he always left when I came to see them? So that I wouldn't read his mind? So that I wouldn't know…

I was still running when I recognized the surroundings. It was all too familiar to think it could be a coincidence. I was in the place where Bella was; I was in the place where I'd been happier than I ever thought I could ever be. I was in the place... where I had told her I didn't love her. Forks, the place of all events.

If only I continued for some minutes, I would be at her house, I would finally see her after the longest twelve months of my existence. I would be able to hold her in my arms and breathe in her addictive smell. A few minutes separated me from the love of my life; A few more minutes and I would be able to kiss her. Every single thought in my mind confused me and I couldn't breathe, even though I didn't really need to. I knew one thing though: I couldn't ruin those twelve months. I hadn't forgotten my objective: to give her the life she deserved, away from the mythical creatures that could only cause her pain, even though that objective seemed insignificant at this moment.

So I ran. In the opposite direction. I had no idea where I was going but it didn't matter. I had to get away; away from the temptation, before I did something I would regret.

After some time I stopped. The pain in my chest was getting more unbearable with every passing second as my body came to the realization that it wasn't going to get what it craved for, after all. As I realized that I was going to be in pain whatever I did, I decided that I could hurt myself a little further by going to a place which absolute beauty couldn't even begin to compete with Bella's.

JPOV

"Are you sure you don't see anything?" I asked Alice for the hundredth time. I was getting more and more anxious. I hoped Edward didn't go to see Bella; she was going to get married and I doubted that a visit of her ex-boyfriend would please her. She was happy with her boyfriend; I had sensed it. She had gotten over Edward and moved on; she was going to get the life he had wanted to have, but he didn't know that. He still loved her, and I was afraid he might go there, thinking she was still available.

I sighed. Who was I kidding? What I really was afraid of, in reality, was that she might be angry at me for telling her it was last time she was going to see any of us, and then let Edward go. I should have warned him; but most importantly I should have been more careful. He wasn't even supposed to know.

"No. I mean yes, I see; but he keeps changing his mind. It's as if he's doing it on purpose. One second he's going to see her, then the next he's coming back," she hesitated a little. "He has even considered coming here and killing you with his own hands." Her face went blank again, and she frowned. "It's giving me a headache. Tell me about Bella instead."

We went to sit on the couch and I buried her in my arms. "She seems fine; happy even. She told me that it had taken time to get better but that she's okay." I felt sadness overcome Alice and it pained me to see her like that. "She told you not to be sad, Alice. She said you did the right thing when you didn't say goodbye. I mean, I'm sure she would have preferred to see you one last time, but I think it would have been harder for her to let go; and you don't know the best part! She's getting married."

Alice pulled from my embrace to look at me, surprise written all over her face.

"What? With whom?" she asked.

"His name is Jacob. I don't think we knew him."

"She getting married and I don't even know the future husband. We're not going to be sisters, after all. I knew it was a lost case when we left but… I still…hoped. I missed my best friend, Jasper. I wish I could see her."

I hugged Alice tightly as I realized I realized she was sad and I couldn't do anything about it. We all missed Bella, but she had a life now; a life that didn't include us. She didn't choose it. We did. I could only hope Edward wasn't going to ruin everything. I knew he loved her, and I understood it. If it was Alice, I knew I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't even try, because my life would hold no interest without her.

BPOV

I was getting ready when I heard a knock on my door.

"Yes?" I answered as I tried in vain to put my favourite pair of jeans. I had been trying to put them on for about ten minutes now and I was starting to get frustrated.

"Jacob is here," Charlie said.

"Tell him to come upstairs," I replied shakily.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing. My jeans aren't fitting anymore."

I heard him chuckle as he made his way downstairs. That sent me over the edge. I sat down on the bed, with my jeans still half on, and burst into tears. I had no idea why; I just knew that it was good to let it out. It was only the absurdity of this all. My favourite jeans weren't fitting anymore, Charlie laughing about it, and the fact that I was invited over to Jacob's place and that I was already late by thirty minutes. Jeans half on with my head in my hands, that's how Jacob found me when he entered.

I felt him kneel beside me and taking my hands so that he could see my face. As soon as I saw him, nothing mattered. I forgot the reason I was supposed to be upset to the point of crying.

"Are you crying? Why?" he asked as his hands brushed off the tears.

"It's nothing. It's stupid," he as still looking at me so I blurted out the truth. "My jeans aren't fitting." I stood up and tried to put the jeans on completely but they stopped below my butt. I struggled with them for a minute but they wouldn't budge. "See?" I told him.

I looked at him and saw him eyeing my butt. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes, I'm seeing a lot right now," he murmured. I smacked his arm.

"Be serious."

He took me in his arms and hugged me. "You know you're beautiful, right?" he said in my hair.

I giggled. "Yep. You told me last night, and then you called twice today to tell me. Are you trying to get something from me, Jacob Black?"

He placed a hand over his heart and feigned shock. "Me? I wouldn't think of it!"

I laughed and hugged him closer. He pulled back after some time and kissed my hair. "Get ready, now."

I ended up choosing a skirt, and we were off. When we arrived at his place, it seemed like everybody was already there so we entered quickly. Seth called Jacob as soon as he saw him and Jacob looked at me.

"Go," I told him. Had it been one year ago I would have followed him and I wouldn't have left his side at all but this was another era. I was comfortable here and I knew the majority of the people. This was my house now. I made my way to the kitchen and saw Angela, Crystal and another girl eating from the food Emily was cooking as soon as she turned her back on them. Angela heard me coming and turned to face me.

"Hey," she smiled. Crystal and the other girl also turned.

Crystal appraised me and said, "You look good."

"Thank you," I smiled, then turned to the other girl, and offered my hand. "Bella Swan."

She shook it, "Karen Scott." **(A/N. For those of you who watch One Tree Hill, sorry I couldn't find another name)**

"Hi, Bella," Emily called, her back still at us.

"Hi Emily."

I sat down with them and picked from Emily's plate. She turned around at the same time, and sighed. "Not you too." She put a full plate in front of us. "Here. And don't pick from my plate again. I'm going to have to serve this." I put a hand on my mouth so that she wouldn't see me laugh.

"Sorry Emily."

"You're Jacob's girlfriend, right?" Karen spoke suddenly.

"Yes and you?"

"I'm at his school," she explained.

"Why were you late?" Angela asked.

"My favourite jeans are not fitting anymore so I didn't know what to wear."

"Not the gray one!" Crystal exclaimed.

"It's blue," I protested for the hundredth time.

"Well it's gray now," she said.

"I think I put on weight," I told them.

"No way! We would have noticed!" Angela said.

"Like you would tell me."

"I would," Crystal answered

I looked at her and answered, smiling. "Because you're rude."

"I'm honest that's different," she insisted.

"Well if you're so honest, why don't you tell her what happened to her jeans?" Angela said to Crystal. The latter glared at her and I became suspicious. "What happened to my jeans?"

Crystal was not going to say anything so I looked at Angela, who seemed uneasy. "Well you remember last Sunday when we were at your place?" I nodded, waiting for her to go on but she looked at Crystal with a pleading look on her face. The latter sighed.

"Alright! You were busy so you told me to start the machine, and I think I pressed the wrong button. It's no big deal."

"Oh, I can't believe it!" I exclaimed.

"Girls please, you're scaring this poor girl with your rude manners," Emily said, entering the room again. I hadn't noticed her leave.

"She tougher than that!" Angela laughed, looking at Karen.

"You owe me a new pair of jean," I grumbled at Crystal.

"Okay, okay. Tomorrow we'll go shopping and we'll find you a pair that isn't ugly!" My mouth shot open but I couldn't find anything to say. She was so mean.

"Let's play a game," Angela intervened. Karen looked relieved.

"What kind of game?" I asked as my anger faded. I could be angry at Crystal one moment and the next I would be laughing with her. We had a strange relationship. We fought, we teased each other, and then we would be having fun together. Anyone who didn't know us would think we were enemies instead of best friends; but our friends were used to our 'moods' like they called it, by now.

We could rip each other's head's off and she could say mean things about me but I would still know that she didn't mean it, or if she meant it, that she didn't mean it badly. Our relationship was like that.

"Well, we have to say something we have never done. For example: I have never eaten crabs," she explained.

"You've never eaten crabs?" Crystal asked.

"It was just an example. Well, the group have to drink a full glass of this soda here," She pointed to a bottle on the counter and began to pour a glass for the four of us. "if they have ever done the thing mentioned."

"Isn't it supposed to be alcohol that you drink during this game?" I asked.

"Yeah but we are not here to get drunk," Karen said.

"Remember…" Crystal began to say but I covered her mouth with my hand.

"We remember."

"If you wanted to kiss me, you could just have asked," Crystal teased me, grinning.

"You're the only sick one here," I reminded her, and sat back in my chair.

"Do we begin?" Angela asked. We all nodded so she continued. Suddenly she burst out laughing. "I have never fantasized about Jacob."

Naturally I took my glass and put it to my mouth but it fell on the table, spilling some of the soda when I saw Crystal doing the same. My eyes widened and I gasped. "You've fantasized about my boyfriend?"

She smiled sheepishly. "Yep." I had never heard her talk so quietly; wondering what I was going to do to her, obviously, but then she started laughing, pointing at Karen beside me. I looked at her and I saw her taking a sip of her drink and I couldn't resist. I burst out laughing too. Apparently everyone here had fantasized about my boyfriend, so what could I say? I looked over at Angela, trying to stop laughing.

"Ang, are you sure you've not done it, too? It's still time to confess," I said.

"I have a boyfriend, Bella," she replied.

I glanced at Crystal. "Seems like that didn't stop someone." She knew I wasn't mad because I was smiling.

"You're not angry, Izzy? I thought you would be," she said as she continued her drink.

"Well, it's not like I haven't fantasized about Seymour…"

Her face was priceless. I wished I had a camera.

"You did?" she gasped.

"No! I was just joking!" I laughed.

"You'd better," she grumbled, making me laugh harder.

"Who's turn next?" Karen asked when I had stopped laughing.

"Oh no," I protested. "Let's stop it here. This game is too risky. There's things I'd rather keep to myself."

"We already know all of you, Bella." Angela insisted.

"Not everything," I said.

"I know you're scared of clowns," Crystal said and I gasped. Nobody knew of my deathly scare of clowns.

"Charlie told me," she relied simply.

"You talk to Charlie behind my back? About me?"

"Yes," she replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Do we play or not?" Angela asked.

"Okay."

We ended up not playing at all since the guys decided to join us and when I glanced at the clock it was past midnight. The time had passed quickly and I wasn't even tired. The guys sat down and told us scary stories that weren't scary at all and I ended up curled up in Jacob's arms on the couch, my head resting on his chest, while he played with my hair.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked

"Sure, sure. You?"

"Yeah. I met your friend, Karen. She's nice."

"Ah. The stalker." I laughed.

"Why do you call her that?"

"'cause she's worse than glue. Embry gave her that name," he smiled.

"Well did you know that she had fantasized about you?"

"She told you that?" he chuckled.

"We were playing a game." He brought his hand on my chin and lifted my face to his.

"Did _you_ fantasize about me?" he asked.

I smiled before kissing him. "A lot," I whispered, and began to tease him. "When you're gone and I'm alone in my room…" I trailed off. I captured his lips between mine and kissed him with all the passion I could muster. His hand moved to my stomach under my shirt and his hot hand felt good again my skin. I caught his lower lip between my teeth and he groaned. I smiled against his lips and his other hand went around my waist.

"What do you do then?" he asked.

"Um… I think about you." The shirt he was wearing was in my way so I put my hand on his chest, underneath it, and I felt him shiver. I slowly caressed his chest, still kissing him so that he couldn't ask me any more question.

My hand moved lower, to his stomach and his lips moved desperately against mine, but before I could go any lower, he grabbed my wrist and pulled away.

"Not, Bella, stop," he said in a voice that didn't seem very determined. I liked how sometimes he would act like he couldn't refuse me anything. Like he imprinted. That was something that had been bothering me for some time, even though I had no intention of telling him. What if he imprinted? Would it turn out like the whole Sam thing? Would he leave me and devote his love and attention to some other girl I didn't know the least about?

Would I turn out like Leah? Hurt, broken and hateful? I wasn't sure how I should feel about this. I loved Jacob with all my heart and I couldn't risk losing him. One second would be enough; one look at her and all he could be able to think of would be her, and even if he promise he would always love me and that he wouldn't leave me, it was something he had no control over; and if he couldn't control it, how could I?

How would I deal with it? Would I beg and cry and make him feel guilty by reminding him of his promises? Would I keep a straight face and tell him it was bound to happen and I that I had preparing? That he didn't have to worry, that I understood? Would I finally let him go and accept the fact that I wasn't made for love? That nothing I did could stop the myths from escaping my grasp, even when I tried so hard to hold on.

Sometimes something is just not made for you, and though you try hard to deny it, the time arrives when you just have to accept.

Jacob had a hand on the side of my face and when I looked at him, I knew he doubted something was wrong, even though he didn't press on. Jacob knew when to give me my space and he knew that my thoughts weren't always sorted out so he gave me my time. I guessed he sensed it was something important and that I would tell him if I needed to. That was something I loved about Jacob: his understanding; and I realized that I was going to miss it.

If someday I had to choose, would I choose a future that held us together, or that took consideration _my_ welfare? What would prevent me from getting hurt? But most all of, could I fear something that probably wouldn't occur? Could I risk what I had now in fear of something that might not happen? Was it fair to me? To Jacob?

Thinking about that triggered a headache and I looked back at Jacob. I didn't know what was fair and what wasn't but I knew I had to tell him. At least he would know and maybe he would tell me my fears were completely unnecessary. Whatever I did, I had to try. I leaned closer and kissed him softly on the mouth. I took a deep breath but it was shaky, as if I was about to cry; which I wouldn't do of course. Crying over jeans was silly but crying over something like that when I know it could only cause him pain was unforgivable.

"Hey," he said softly, brushing my hair from my face. "Whatever it is, it'll be okay. Don't worry, sweetheart."

"What if… what if you imprint?" I whispered, looking down, glad that it was dark so he wouldn't see how much it hurt to voice my fears out loud. He was silent for a moment and when I glanced back at him, there was understanding in his eyes followed by a hint of sadness. His hand came up to caress my cheek and he spoke softly yet firmly.

"Werewolf or not, you're the love of my life, and there isn't someone in the world who can put that in question. I'm not going to imprint, Bella. I know it sounds weird and I promise you I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. I've thought it through and I'm hundred percent sure that I won't imprint. I wouldn't tell you if I was hundred percent certain, Bella; and imprint isn't like love at first sight at all. It's mostly like undying love or affection, if you prefer. It envelops all aspects of love, like brotherly love, or just pure affection. The person you imprint on becomes a part of your life and someone you wouldn't want to lose, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to fall in love with him. I love you more than anything in the world and I'm not going to get away from me. You have to trust me on this one."

He kissed me softy and I sighed. He _did_ find the words to relieve me, but for how long? How long till I began to doubt again? We got up and went in his room. There was nothing left to say and I fell asleep the moment my head touched the pillow.

I woke up the next day, feeling better. Jacob was still sleeping next to me and I didn't have the courage to wait till he woke up. I got out of bed and scribbled something on a piece of paper. I told him I was going home and that I would call him later on. I was still in the last day's clothes and I was dying for a shower. I didn't have a ride home but it didn't matter. I was in the mood for a shower. It had been a long time since I'd walked and it felt goo. Well, it felt good until I saw someone following me. I turned around and saw a man in his mid-twenties behind me. He grabbed my wrist and the only thought that occurred to me was that he was going to have a really bad day. I didn't have any tolerance toward those men who had nothing better to do that persecuting young girls. It wasn't like that night in Port Angeles at all, where I'd been afraid and that I had been dreading what might happen to me. I wasn't that Bella anymore. Charlie and Jacob had taught me how to defend myself and I was going to do them honour.

He moved his hand to my waist and I didn't hesitate. I punched him right in the face, grateful for the day Jacob had taught me how to put all my strength and anger in my fist. He stumbled backwards and tried to get back at me but I used all that Jacob had taught me. The traditional knee in the groin was the best. It left him crying on the ground. I felt so powerful, because I could depend on myself. I didn't need someone by my side all the time.

"Are you done?" I asked. He didn't even look at me so I left. I arrived home and headed directly to the bathroom. I took at long shower and when I got out, I was feeling better. I dressed in jeans and a shirt and I lay on my bed for some time. Memories of when I was leaving Phoenix came back to me. I had said my goodbye to the sun and I felt that I now needed to say goodbye to the old Bella. Once I would have done it, I would be able to se goals for my new life and I wouldn't need to be sad about the departure of the Cullens anymore. I wouldn't need to miss them, because I would have a new life, and would be completely content. And I knew exactly where I could perform that goodbye. The meadow.

I put on sports shoes and headed there. It took me less time than I would have thought to get there, and I was relieved when I didn't get lost. I stumbled a few times on the way, but I always managed to steady myself before I fell. I went to sit on the exact spot where Edward and I were the time we were there together, and I lay down, enjoying the warmth of the sun.

I wondered how that goodbye was going to be. I'd just lay there for some time and let the memories that were usually taboo fill my mind. I could think of Edward; Yes, that would be my goodbye. Usually I avoided thinking of him. When Jasper came I asked about Alice but not about him because I'd been afraid that it might cause me pain, but I knew that this was the only way to let go. So I let my mind wander to Edward. His eyes, his mouth, his nose. The way he would pinch the bridge of his nose when he was annoyed. Those beautiful eyes I got lost in every time I looked at him, the cold of his skin. I could remember him perfectly, like we talked yesterday, instead of a year ago.

"Bella."

My eyes flew open and I sat up straight, my head snapping towards where the voice came from. There he stood, sparkling everywhere the sun touched his skin, looking at me with those eyes I lost myself in so many times before.

**First of all Happy New Year 2009! I wish you all a very prosperous year! Sorry for some mistakes that might be in the chapter because I typed it real quick and now I'm going to sleep. It's 2:50 a.m at my place. I will re read this chapter maybe tomorrow and edit it so don't worry about the mistakes. **

**I got surprised by the date today. I hadn't realized that I'm going back to school in 8 days. ****Anyway, the summer holidays were great! So like I was saying, I got surprised by the date, and I realized I had too little time to finish this story. I might, I say 'might' get another chapter very soon because I don't want to leave you with a cliffy for too long. But you have to know that now that the holidays are over, I won't be able to update regularly. Maybe I won't even be able to update, 'cause of school and stuff. Anyway I'll try to get something done but don't expect anything after the 8th. I'm really sorry because I would have liked to finish this story before I got back to school but time passed so quickly! **

**I really hope you will stick with this story even though I won't be able to update after the 8th. I might put another chapter once in a while, but don't count too much on it, 'cause this school year is going to be very important. Anyway I hope you understand. I will miss your reviews! I hope you will still message me because it would be nice talking to you guys and it might boost me up a little. **

**And lastly, I would like to thank all my reviewers as well as my readers who have stuck with me for so long. I love you all!**

**Special thanks to 'me'. You still kept reviewing though I didn't expect it from an anonymous reviewer; anyway I'm pleasantly surprised. It seems we come up with the same ideas most of the time and I would like to thank you for your support, since I can't answer your reviews! Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.**


	17. Welcome Back, My Love

I stood up slowly, trying to figure out if it was just a product of my imagination or if he was actually here. He just stood there watching me as I realized that my memory hadn't done him justice. He was even more beautiful than I remembered and I had the sudden urge to touch him; not only to see if he was real, but to see if it was still as I remembered.

"Bella," he said again and I marveled at the sound of his voice. My lips curled involuntarily upwards and I took a step forward. He did the same.

"Edward?" I whispered as if to make sure it was really him, that I wasn't hallucinating.

"Oh Bella."

That confirmation brought a larger smile on my face and I, slowly, began to move towards him while he stayed frozen on the spot. I was only one foot from him when he raised up one hand and touched my cheek with his fingertips. The simple touch brought back a million of memories and I closed my eyes, concentrating on the feeling on his hand on me. Seeing him, _feeling _him didn't bring back the pain in my chest like I thought it would. Rather, it released me from an emptiness I never knew of; like the sensation I had when he left for a hunting trip and then came back later on. It was like he never left.

I suddenly felt his hot breath on my face and I instinctively moved closer. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine and I was feeling light headed. I couldn't react for a few seconds but when I was finally able to think clearly, I pulled back. I looked up at Edward and his eyes were closed. I took that as an opportunity to clear my head.

I turned my back at him and shook my head back and forth ever so slowly. Edward had come back; but why? What did he want from me? He had made it clear that he didn't love me the day he left. Maybe I was just dreaming and that I would wake up soon, next to Jacob. Jacob. How would he react to that? He had been worried when I had told him about Jasper; how would he take the fact that Edward had come back? But… _did_ Edward come back?

I turned around slowly, fearing and at the same time hoping that he wasn't there; but he was and his eyes were open. I sat down on the grass before looking back at him.

"Why did you come?" I asked softly. He came to sit beside me, although he kept a safe distance between us. He looked down and didn't reply and once again, I wished I was the one with the mind reading ability. Edward took my hand and the cold surprised me once more even though I didn't show it.

"I've missed you so much. Bella, I'm sorry I left and told you all those lies, but I had to. I had to give you the life you deserve, but I was stupid to think that we could survive without each other. You don't know how hard it was to stay away and pretend like everything was alright, that I didn't feel like someone had buried me alive. I wanted to come, Bella, but I fought with myself every day and each time I did, I died a little more. I know it isn't fair what I've imposed on you and I was stupid; but Bella… I'm here to rectify that mistake because I can't take it anymore. If… if you still want me."

"You… love… me?" The words flew out of my mouth without my permission, and the worst was that I knew I couldn't take them back.

"Yes, of course," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in this world. "Do you?"

"I… I can't, Edward. OF course I love you, I'll always do, but things aren't this way anymore…"

"Is it because I hurt you too much? I will work everyday to gain back your trust, I promise. Just give me…"

"No, Edward, it's not that," I interrupted him. I couldn't give him hope. It would be cruel. "I've moved on and I'm happy. I have a boyfriend. Fiancé, actually."

I watched as his expression changed from hope to understanding and eventually to hurt. His eyes dropped to the floor, but not before I saw the agonized expression in them. I looked away, not able to stand watching him like this. I knew what it felt like to be deceived by someone you love. You felt crushed and humiliated, and I didn't wish that for anyone, and most especially Edward.

As much as I wanted to make Edward feel better, I couldn't accept his request; I couldn't, wouldn't ever leave Jake. Not because of all he did for me, and how he had always been there for me; not because I owed him my life, but because I couldn't live without him. I loved him with all my heart and whenever I thought of my future, even thought there were always different scenarios, there was something that never changed. Jacob. He was always there and I couldn't even imagine what my life would be without him. I don't know when I had begun to feel that way, when his simple existence was the reason of mine, but I felt like it had always been the case.

Edward or Jacob? The question didn't need to be asked anymore. If I had to choose between an existence with Edward and a lifetime with Jacob, I chose Jacob. I had matured during the last year. I was no longer the girl who thought that throwing away the life she had to run away with her boyfriend was no big deal. It had been childish to think that I would be able to forget my parents as well as my friends to have a future with Edward.

Maybe it had been less childish when I had a few friends and was feeling out of place; but now as I thought about choosing that life again, I felt nothing but guilt. I needed my friends and I wouldn't be able to forget them even if I had forever ahead of me.

"Who is he?" Edward spoke suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"His name is Jacob Black," I said. I knew I had to be hundred percent honest so I told him. "He is a werewolf."

Edward's expression was shocked and disgusted as he watched me with wide eyes. He was on his feet in an instant. "How could you be so stupid?" he shouted. "A werewolf! You couldn't settle for a human, no, you needed a werewolf!"

I had never seen Edward so angry, not even when we were in the meadow together the first time. No, this was worse. Much worse.

"Bella, don't you have any idea what is self-preservation? Werewolves are dangerous."

"So are vampires," I retorted. I couldn't stand listening to him talk about werewolves like they were cold-blooded creatures. I was friends with werewolves. They were nothing more than a bunch of kids who could morph into giant wolves. Other than that they were perfectly normal, apart from their temperature and their enormous appetite.

Edward looked at me in disbelief. He calmed down suddenly and took a step closer to me.

"Bella, I'm sorry to have shouted and all, but werewolves are dangerous. He could hurt you."

"He wouldn't," I responded, sure of myself. With Edward I felt safe because I knew he would protect me from any threat, but with Jacob I felt safe because there wasn't anything to threaten me.

His voice was gentle but his words made me angry. "You don't know that. If he were to be angry and you were too close…"

"I know all that Edward; but I trust him and I'm willing to take the risk."

Edward was silent for a long moment and I prayed that he would let it go. I didn't want to argue with him about that anymore because I knew it would be of no use. I was safe with Jacob. He had saved and protected me so many times before and never once did he ask for something in return.

"I want to meet him," Edward said quietly, looking back at me. I closed my eyes and told him yes. I don't think I realized what I had just agreed to. How would they react to each other? Not only because one was my boyfriend and one had once been, but because of the vampire and werewolf enmity.

He offered to take me on his back so that we could get at my house faster but I insisted I could walk and that I wasn't so slow anymore. Why make it more awkward than it already was? Maybe it was because I was concentrating hard on my steps but thankfully I didn't trip once on the way back. I wanted the least physical contact possible between us; not because I wasn't comfortable with it. He didn't have that much effect on me anymore; but because I didn't want to make it any more harder for him when he would leave.

When he told me that he loved me my heart didn't soar like it used to. I didn't want to jump in joy like I would have if he had told me a few months ago. Instead, I felt devastated. I loved him and it was hard knowing that he loved me too but that I was going to let him down. I would have preferred that all he told me in the forest that day he left was true; that he didn't love me and that I wasn't right for him. It would have made everything so much easier for him as well as for me. I would have preferred not to be forced to choose but I knew that when Edward left, I survived, whereas if I were to be separated from Jacob now, I would cease to exist.

We took even less time on the way back than when I came but it was better that way. Edward didn't say anything so I kept silent. As soon as we entered my house I dialed Jacob's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake; it's me. I have something important to tell you. Could you come at my place?"

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No. I mean, it's complicated. I'll explain when you get here; but nothing's wrong, don't worry okay?"

"Okay I'll come right now"

"I love, Jake."

"I love you too, Bells. Be right here." I hung up the phone and looked back at Edward, knowing very well that I couldn't change the course of things. Whatever I did, whatever I chose, there would be someone who would be hurt. If only this could be easier. If only Edward could burst out laughing and tell me "gotcha!" If only this could be just a prank; but I knew this wouldn't happen.

I knew that if I'd never come to Forks, I wouldn't be in this position right now; but even as I was going to hurt someone I loved, I couldn't make myself to regret that decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not right to grieve when there aren't just happy moments.

I know I should have said something before Jacob arrived but I couldn't make myself to do it. Too soon the door opened and Jacob entered. Too quickly had the time passed without a spoken word. Jacob froze in his steps and I knew the moment had arrived. Nothing happened like I expected. There were no menacing growls and angry snarls. There weren't rigid positions nor was there an austere atmosphere. As soon as Jacob saw Edward his expression became so torn and defeated that I wanted to do everything I could to make everything alright again.

He looked at me and his eyes, oh his eyes were so lifeless.

"You came back huh?" Jacob asked. His question was directed towards Edward but his eyes never left mine. I smiled a bit to show him everything was alright but it only pained him more.

"Yes. I came back and I need to talk to you, if that's alright?"

Jacob simply nodded and followed him outside. I sighed sadly. Whatever happened wasn't my fault; I couldn't do anything to prevent it, though that didn't mean my heart didn't crumble at the perspective of all this.

I expected them to return after a few minutes but they took longer than I had imagined. After twenty minutes had passed, I was beginning to get worried; never before had the minutes seemed so long and I wondered what they were doing. I got out of the house and from the porch, I could see them talking; well mostly Edward was talking and Jacob was listening, but I was too far to hear what they were saying, so I went back inside. I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. My eyes were on the screen but I wasn't seeing anything.

I have no idea what happened but the next thing I knew, Jacob was kneeling beside me and even the tears that covered my face couldn't erase that silly grin of his. I wiped my tears and looked up at Edward. Jacob took a step backwards and Edward approached me.

"Bella, I'm leaving today itself; but do you mind if the others come here? I mean, to say goodbye? It was unfair of me to force them to go without seeing you one last time."

"No, I don't mind!" I said a bit too loudly, which caused them to chuckle. Wow. If someone had told me those two would get along, I would have thought he was crazy. "I mean, it would be good seeing them once more."

"That's settled then; they'll come tomorrow," he said.

I knew I had no right to ask but I wanted the whole Cullen family here.

"Will you be coming too?" I asked quietly.

"If you want me to," Edward said.

"Yes."

I couldn't look in his eyes for too long because it brought back too many memories I had tried so hard to bury. He looked at me once more before leaving through the door. There were so much more things I knew I should tell him, so much more things I could do, but I let him go without another word.

Jacob came to sit beside me but I shook my head and led him upstairs. We went to sit on my bed and when he took me in his arms, I knew I was where I was meant to be. We stayed silent for a long time and when I was sure he wasn't going to tell me, I asked.

"What did Edward tell you?" Jacob took a strand of my hair and placed it behind my ear; that simple touch made smile.

"Well, technically, he gave me the speech Charlie would have given me if he didn't like me so much. And… he explained why he left. What pissed me off was the fact that he was answering my thoughts more than my words; but other than that, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would. Mind you, I'm not saying I like him, but I kind of understand him more now," he chuckled. "Even though he smells atrocious."

I laughed. "That's not true."

"Yes, it is."

Jacob took one of my hands and traced the pattern on my palm. "I'm glad that you chose me, Bella. I always thought that while he was away I had a chance, but… I mean I wasn't sure what you would do if he were to be back. You won't regret picking me, Bells. I promise."

I looked up at him and I was glad to see nothing had changed. He was still _my_ Jacob.

"I know; I'm trusting you on this one."

A smile crept across my face as I thought about the Cullens. I would see Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie after one year. I knew everything would be alright; even with Rosalie. I would make sure of it. I wanted us to part with good memories.

**I just wanted to rectify things because most of you seem to have come up with the silly idea that I wasn't going to finish this story. Don't worry my dears; I will definitely finish this story! Just not anytime soon. Maybe you'll get one chapters every one or two months or maybe ****longer if school is too overwhelming but I will finish the story. And also: There is still confusion as to when school starts. It might be the 8th** **or it might be the 12th. I'm praying for the 12th** **so that you get more chapters before. Anyway don't worry, I will finish the story no matter what. I love you all! And just to boost you up, you'll get another chapter in the next few days. Review please! I was glad with the number of reviews I got for the last chapter! Thank you all!**


	18. My Ex Future Family

**Hello my fellow readers! You know how much I love you all, and that's why I'm trying my best to sum the story up in these chapters because I won't be able to update regularly since I have to go to school. Anyway school is starting the 12th so I still have a little time ahead. Here's a new chapter. Hehe the Cullens are back and they are here to rock your world! Sit well on your chair and grab something so you don't fall!**

RPOV

Edward just announced that Bella was expecting us tomorrow. Apparently he had gone to see her, but he didn't give any details. I sighed. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, even though everyone had seemed oblivious to it. I wondered why; you only had to look at him to see that he wouldn't last long. What was going to happen now? Would we go back to Forks? I didn't like it here in Alaska but I think that's because we had left Forks sooner than expected. Give me some more time and it would become home; I was used all those changes by now.

Edward left us to go in his room while my family gathered around Jasper. As I approached, I heard him talk about something Bella had told him.

"What? You went to see her too?" I asked.

Jasper looked at me and frowned. "Do I have to start all over?"

"Next time you are talking about something important, at least call me," I snapped. Emmett, who was by my side, began to rub my back, a sign for me to calm down. I turned to glare at him but his expression softened my resistance.

"Sorry Jasper; could you _please _start all over again?"

Jasper sighed but did as I requested. "Well it wasn't on purpose. I arrived in front of our old house and I saw her on the steps, crying."

"Because of Edward?" Esme asked.

"No, she had a fight with Charlie. Well we talked and to make a long story short, she's going to get married."

Wow. Wasn't she a little young to get married? Well, this wasn't any of my business so I wasn't going to interfere. Who was I to tell Bella Swan what she could or couldn't do? I didn't have a dislike to her, personally, even though I had reasons to. Firstly, Edward fell for her, a human. Mind you, I don't have any dislike towards humans; I find them somewhat distracting, but couldn't Edward stick to our category? He fell for her when he never spared me a glance. I was used to attention and when Edward didn't show any interest in me, I was hurt.

I quickly brushed it off though, because he showed the same disinterest in other women. I came to the conclusion that he was gay; what other reason could a man not pay any attention to you even when you paid a little extra time to your appearance? I admit I tried to impress Edward like a hundredth time. I loved Emmett of course, but it was unusual for me not to catch every man's eye.

Then we went out of our way to protect Bella, but what infuriated me was when I learned she wanted Edward to change her into a vampire. Now, how more stupid could someone get? She was willing to throw her life, everything she could have in the future, to become a vampire. That's what sent me over the edge. In the end, we were forced to leave because of her. Well technically it wasn't her fault, but Edward forced us to leave "so that she could have the life she deserved". Well it seemed like she was going to have it after all.

Jasper was still talking but I wasn't listening to him; mostly because I was busy watching the reaction of the others. Alice was more excited than I'd ever seen her; she was bouncing up and down, grinning. Her reaction pained me a little. I knew she loved Bella a lot. Probably more than she loved me, but that didn't mean that seeing her proving my point didn't hurt me. I knew I was a pain in the ass most of the time but I couldn't be that bad, right? Esme was just smiling adoringly at her family but Carlisle looked a bit worried; wondering where all this was heading, surely. Emmett was his usual self whenever Bella was concerned: he was bragging and betting how many times he could make her blush tomorrow.

We spent all night playing games; we began with Monopoly and ended with Truth or Dare. Alice and Emmett kept talking about Bella, and I have to say it was good to see my family like this again. Since we left, it had been a bit glum. Everyone was trying to hide his own pain and act like nothing happened, but it was pretty obvious that they weren't their usual self. I hadn't particularly missed Bella but I thought about her sometimes and about how our relationship would have developed if Edward had actually changed her. It would have been fun to have another sister, but it wasn't going to happen so why dwell on what might have been?

Usually at this time of the night, we would all exit to our rooms but everyone was so excited about tomorrow that they decided time would pass quicker if we were in groups. I have to admit I was a little excited about tomorrow; I had a funny feeling it was going to be an interesting day.

Alice was right: time _did _pass very quickly. Before we knew it, it was the day and Alice screamed.  
"Alice!" I cried. She could be very annoying at times.

"I can't help it. I'm too excited!"

We got up and began to prepare ourselves. Emmett followed me to our room and began to throw everything in his closet everywhere. After al couple of seconds, piles of clothes covered the floor, and he had already changed.

"Emmett Cullen!"

He looked around. "Oops. Sorry."

Emmett closed the distance between us and took me in his arms. My feeling towards Emmett? I loved him immensely. He was the only one who really understood everything I did and everything I said without judging me. He was the only one who could live with me for eternity and if you knew me, you would understand this was no easy task. Emmett was always making fun of everything, and although that infuriated me sometimes, it was one of the qualities I adored in him. We were completely different, but still, he was the only one I could imagine spending the rest of my long eternity ahead with. Plus he was sexy. Sexier than anyone I've met so far. What more could a girl ask for?

Emmett looked at me before kissing me forcefully. I kissed him back but even though I would love to spend some more time with him, we had more urgent matters at hand.

"Slow down, Emmett. We have to go or Alice will scream again." He grinned. "You're really happy about going, right?"

"Yep; you are too." I shrugged. Why did it matter? "I know you are," he insisted.

"Maybe a little," I said.

"Oh come on, Rose! Admit it."

"You know me too well, Emmett Cullen."

"That's why you love me."

I shoved him away and when to find something to wear. I picked a light blue dress and black high heels. Emmett took my arm and we went downstairs.

"Come on! I have a bet to win!" he yelled.

"How many times are you planning on making her blush?" I asked him.

"I bet on three but I'm sure I can do more than that," he replied. I shook my head, smiling. This was going to be an interesting day.

BPOV

Thinking about the Cullens made me smile; for once I regretted having only one day to spend with Alice because that meant we couldn't go shopping. Yes, going shopping with the girls would have pleased me, even though I had no idea what attitude Rosalie was going to have towards me. She had made it clear since the beginning that she didn't like me and the fact that I ruined their perfect little existence didn't make me look any better in her eyes.

But that was the past; whatever had happened one year ago wasn't going to influence what was going to happen today. I would make sure of it. I had a feeling things would go better between us and that we would part with good feelings towards each other. What was the use of hating someone you wouldn't ever meet again?

"What are you thinking about, sweetheart?" Jacob's beautiful voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned to face him and like the hundredth time today, I knew I had made the right choice. It was impossible to think otherwise.

"The Cullens," I replied simply. Jacob sighed and looked down for a moment. Then he looked back at me and bit his lip.

"It makes me sad when you think about them," he said.

"Why?" I asked, surprised. He had never told me that before.

"I think that… maybe… you regret not choosing them." I didn't miss the fact that he said 'them' and not 'Edward' or even 'him'.

"Who did I give my body to?" I asked him. He looked shocked.

"You slept with someone? Who?"

I smacked his arm. "Silly."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I know. I shouldn't even be thinking that; but enough about me now. You're going to spend a wonderful day with you favourite vampires. I'm sure it'll be fun.

"_I'm_ going to spend a wonderful day? You are coming too."

"Really?" he sounded really surprised. I snorted. "But…"

"Of course, I want them to meet my gorgeous fiancé. Plus, Alice would never forgive me if you weren't there. So…"

"Are you sure?"

"Who wants to cross Alice?" I raised my hands dramatically.

I leaned closer to him and kissed him forcefully. I never wanted him to feel like he had to hesitate to ask for something, or he couldn't come somewhere because I had other groups of friends. If they liked me, they had to like Jacob. Who wouldn't? Everyone was drawn to him. Some were even drawn a _bit_ too much but let's not dwell on that for the moment. I hadn't noticed but he was hovering above me and this time he wasn't supporting his weight off me. I could feel every curve of his body, and it was turning me on. Sometimes I wondered I wondered if he was using his werewolf speed with me. I had to laugh at that. His pulled back a bit.

"What is it?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing."

He kissed me at the corner on my mouth. "Tell me."

I laughed again. "I was wondering if you used your werewolf speed sometimes with me, 'cause I can't remember you coming on top of me. Last time I checked, we were kissing _and_ sitting.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are particularly unobservant," he said.

I smiled. "True."

Jacob placed at strand of my hair behind my ear and kissed my lips softly. I pressed my lips harder to his and knotted my fingers in his hair. Nothing in the world would justify missing this. His lips left mine and before I could protest, I felt them on my neck. He gently sucked on my neck and I knew it was going to leave a mark; and I liked it. I was his for the world to know. His hands went to the front of my blouse, and he had unbuttoned the first two buttons before I caught his wrists.

"The Cullens are going to be here any minute," I told him.

"Will you be embarrassed if they saw us like that?" he asked coolly but I detected real interest in his voice.

"Why would I be embarrassed? I don't blush anymore, remember? And we are going to get married, and I love you, and there are lots of reasons why no one has the right to judge us." I kissed him hard once to prove my point.

I was right to say that the Cullens were going to arrive soon. Barely a minute had passed when I sensed the. I don't know how I knew they were there. I didn't hear them or anything, but I just knew they were near. I opened the door, and here they were, my seven favourite vampires; standing in all their glory, and beautiful as always. I heard an ear-shattering scream and before I could react, Alice was running towards me, grinning wider than I had ever seen her grin before. She hugged me and although I would have loved to wrap my arms around her, I couldn't. Literally. My arms were blocked at my sides and I couldn't breathe; but I didn't want her to pull back. Screw breathing. Who needed to breathe, anyway?

I was lost in her smell; I had forgotten how much she smelled good. God, how much I had missed my pixie shopaholic vampire best friend!

"Alice you're choking her!" I heard Edward's voice say from somewhere. I was instantly released and I was able to breathe normally. I took a deep breath and looked at Edward gratefully.

"Thank you," I said and he smiled.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alice asked.

"Because it felt too good!" I replied before hugging her once more.

"Okay, stop it now; I've missed her too, you know," Emmett's booming voice made me remember the others' presence. I quickly pulled out of Alice's embrace and ran towards Emmett, surprising myself by not falling. I threw my arms around him and he picked me up.

"Well that's some welcome," he said, "but I still have to punish you for not doing it earlier. And with that he began to run around crazily, ignoring my pleas. After some seconds, which meant about a dozen tours of my house because of his vampire speed, he stopped and began to spin me around wildly. My head was spinning and I was so dizzy that I was surprised I didn't pass out.

I tried hard to breathe and said between laughter, "Emmett… stop… I … dizzy… stop please." Do you think he listened to me? No! He chuckled and continued to spin me around.

"Emmett Cullen!" Rosalie's voice pierced through my ears. Uh-oh. Emmett stopped at once.

"I've missed you, Bella," he muttered before kissing me on the cheek and heading behind Jasper. The latter muttered, "Coward" which made me laugh till I sank to the floor.

The others were watching me with confused expression so I assured the, "I just need a minute to breathe properly." I concentrated. _Breathe in, breathe out._ Rosalie came to sit next to me.

"I'm sorry I have such a _dumb_ husband," she said, glaring at Emmett. Then before I could process what was happening, Rosalie was hugging me. My mind went blank. Was it an 'I've missed you, Bella' or an 'I'm sorry my husband almost killed you accidentally'?

Rosalie pulled back. "It's an 'I've missed you, Bella." I looked up at her.

"Um… wow. You read minds too now?" She laughed and the sound was so beautiful that I had to smile.

"I know it's strange, but I couldn't resist."

"I'm glad you did it, Rosalie," I said sincerely before hugging her once more. I got up and walked towards Carlisle and Esme. I couldn't wait so I hugged them both at the same time.  
"We've missed you so much, Bella," Esme said, and it was all too much that the tears began to pour down my cheeks. I immediately pulled back.

"I'm sorry; I'm ruining your clothes."

"Don't worry, Bella. Alice already saw this and she brought extra clothes for all of us," Carlisle admitted. I laughed softly before brushing back the tears with the back of my hands.

"I believe you have someone for us to meet," Jasper said." But I didn't get my hug."  
"You got it a few days back; and maybe if you're nice, you'll get another one later," I teased.

"What do I get if I'm nice?" Emmett asked.

"A bit smack in the head," Rosalie retorted and held up her hand for me to high-five, which I did, a little surprised at first, but I quickly brushed it off. Didn't I promise that we would part with good feelings? Only I wasn't sure if I wanted them to leave anymore.

"And I want you all to meet my fiancé, Jacob Black," I said as I turned around to face Jacob. He was talking animatedly with Alice; I walked to them and they stopped talking immediately.

"What are you two talking about?" I asked.

"Why would I talk to him? I don't even know who he is," Alice replied.

I looked at Jacob. "Befriending already?"

"Yep," he replied. "You weren't paying any attention to me so…" he placed an arm around Alice's shoulder. The latter frowned at him.

"You just screwed up the whole 'I don't even know him'". She smacked his arm.

"Hey! Don't talk to me like that, pixie vampire!" He warned. Alice began to run away, Jacob behind her. Alice laughed.

"I'm much faster than you, wolf!"

"Wait till I…"

"Jake, you'll chase her later. Come meet the others," Jake groaned but returned while Emmet approached.

"Don't let her control you, man. You have to show you who wears the pants in the couple. Once it's too late…" No one missed the glance he throwed towards Rosalie. He shook hands with Jacob. "Nice to meet you, m-" He jerked backwards suddenly. "Ow! You stink!"

I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing at this one. Everyone was staring at me but I couldn't stop. I almost sank to the floor once more but Alice's hands were around me. She frowned as she examined my eyes.

"Are you high?" I laughed harder in her face, and she winced as she covered her ears. "Warn me the next time you intend to do that."

"Promise," I said.

"I'm a werewolf," I heard Jacob say, "and for your information, you stink as well."

Everyone began to laugh but Emmett watched him in awe and with a spark in his eyes. A spark I knew too well.

"For real? Oh man, at last I found someone who can compete with me!"

"Hm… I don't think that's a good idea," I began.

"What? It is, Bells!" Jacob looked at Emmet, who was grinning and extended his arm. "I'd love to."

Emmett shook his hand. "What about we start now?"

Alice was suddenly between them and was shaking her head. "Not now; we are going to the zoo!"

**I hope you enjoyed the Cullens' return. No one fell of his chair? I hope so. Review to give your opinion!**


	19. The Cullens Have Me Hooked

**This chapter is going to be the last one you get before school starts. I hope you're pleased, nonetheless. I promised you one chapter and you got three. It's the best I can do. With school and all, I will update maybe once every two months, but maybe if you PM me to give me your thoughts about anything at all, then maybe I may consider putting school aside for a few hours to write another chapter. Yes, hearing about you makes me happy and it motivates me to write. This school year is going to be very important and I'm sure very busy, so it would be nice if I could get my mind off it by reading your messages. Please PM me because it would make me so happy! You can talk to me about anything at all; anything would be better than to be stuck with homework every evening. Thank you so much for your support. I would like to give a special thanks to 'IheartJacobblack!' Your reviews improve my mood. Thank you so much for everything!**

**Anyway guys, enjoy this last chapter. I love you all.**

"Really? Do we have to?" Emmett asked. "We could go on later." He turned his puppy eyes towards Alice, while the latter glared at him.

"You know that doesn't work on me. Now go! You already know with whom you will drive." Apparently they all knew with whom they were going apart from me. Even Jacob seemed to be completely at ease with them.

"I'm going in this jeep. I've always wanted one," He explained as he gave me a quick kiss before running towards the jeep.

"Hey, that's my jeep!" I heard Emmett warn.

"Possessive, aren't we?" Jacob retorted as he climbed in.

"Semmes like I'm taking my truck," I muttered, but someone caught my arm before I could take a step. I looked up and saw Edward smiling at me.

"Alice prefers us to arrive there before 2010," he says.

"Come on, you're riding with me." I followed him; his hand still on my arm while Alice was bouncing up and down on her seat.

"Can you move quicker, Bella? I forgot you were so slow!" She said. I took my seat next to her and Edward began driving.

"I'm a human; did you forget that too, Alice?"

She hugged me. "No. You are too warm for someone to forget that. If only you knew how much I've missed you, Bella. It isn't the same without you; and you're going to get married! Can I do your wedding? You can't say no that, Bella. Oh! Let me see your ring!"

Wow. I forgot Alice was so… Alice. If I didn't know better, I'd think she'd had coke. I showed her my left hand and she gasped.

"It's so beautiful. Too bad I'm not getting married, too. We could have had a double wedding."

"You're already married, Alice," I reminded her.

"Yes, but I'm a vampire and vampires marry more than once."

"Which reminds me," Edward said, looking over his shoulder. "Rose and Emmett are planning their next wedding in about a year. I know it's supposed to be the last time we meet, but I would be nice if you could come." I couldn't believe it was going to be the last time we would see each other. At least, he seemed as reluctant as me to let go and even though I shouldn't feel this way, it made me the tiniest bit happy. I knew I had no right to feel this way. I had chosen my life; but I just didn't want to let go. I didn't want them to leave. How much more selfish could someone get?

Whatever I did, I was going to delay their departure; I never wanted to let go.

"I'd be glad to come," I answered and Edward smiled. I held his gaze for a long moment and it felt like he could see all the way to my soul. This moment felt so… right.

"Okay lovebirds, concentrate. Edward, your eyes on the road; remember if you crash, Bella has the least chance of survival," Alice interrupted. Edward chuckled but did as she said. "Bella, when is your wedding?"

I looked back at Alice. "It's not for now, Alice. I still have to go to College, which reminds me that I absolutely don't know where I'm going."

"Oh, oh, oh!" Alice cried, her hands in the air as if she was stopping traffic. I looked at her, worried. Vampires can't have heart attach, right? Yeah I know, stupid question, but if you saw Alice…

Edward laughed as I looked at him, but he shook his head. "I know what I'll get you as a wedding present and this time you can't even say no!" Alice said with a spark in her eyes. A different spark that from Emmett's eyes earlier, but still a spark that I knew all to well.

"Why do I have a feeling it's a scholarship in some expensive college?" I asked suspiciously. I had to be wrong. Surely Alice couldn't.

"Dartmouth! For you and Jake! He doesn't already know where he'll be going, right? I hope so 'cause I can't see his future and it's annoying…" she babbled on. I was right. 'Alice' and 'Couldn't' didn't go in the same sentence. I couldn't believe she was offering me a scholarship to Dartmouth! Dartmouth! I never dared to dream so far. Without thinking, I hugged her more tightly than ever. "I see you're pleased," she smiled as I pulled back.

"Of course I am. I can't believe it. Dartmouth…"

I didn't realize we had stopped before Edward was opening the door for me.

"Always the gentleman," I said as I stepped out.

He took my arm and smiled. We took our tickets and entered, Alice behind us.

"Hey you two! You could wait for me!" She appeared beside me and took my other arm. We saw that the others had already entered. Alice looked at me, and I knew instantly that we were having the same idea. We were going to pull a prank on the others; that will teach them not to wait for us again.

"Do you want to be in it?" I asked Edward. He frowned.

"Yeah. I'd better be with you than against you."

"So here's the plan…" Alice began.

**{****}**

This was going to be so much fun. It was good we had Alice with us because, in that way, the others wouldn't see this coming. I admit I was feeling a bit guilty; they would probably freak out. But I was scared too. Why if things went out of control? When I'd told Alice that, she'd only responded.

"Well, if it goes wrong, you'll die, but don't worry, I'll be right next to you and I won't let anything happen to you."

Edward didn't have anything to do. He was only a spectator.

"Okay, Bella. You seem a bit lost, so do you want me to repeat what you have to do?" Alice asked. I nodded my head vigorously. I had to make sure I got everything right.

"I'll put you in there," she showed me the place where the lions were. The big, terrifying lions that could so easily eat me up. "And you have to cry out to the others." She saw me give a confused look. "You do whatever you want but you get their attention. Make sure you look scared. Don't worry I'll be right next to you in those bushes and I'll snatch you away as soon as their attention in on the lions. Then you come as if nothing happened. Understood?"

"Yeah," I replied. "That doesn't sound so bad."

I heard Emmett's laughter and I looked to where it came from. They were looking at the lions, which meant it was time for us to start moving. Edward had already joined them and he gave us a thumbs-up sign as we looked his way.

"Come on, Bella. Let's go," Alice said. Everything went so fast after that that I didn't have time to process what was happening. One moment I was with Alice, and the next I was standing alone behind the glass; I looked ahead as I saw the others still joking and laughing. They hadn't noticed me; this was my cue to get their attention but I couldn't move. I just stared at them, wondering how much time would be necessary for those lions to jump on me and finish me off. Not much, apparently. It would surely be very, very painful. Oh God. I turned sideways and noticed that I was completely surrounded. I stopped breathing. Oh God, what had I gotten myself into? I should never have agreed to this.

One of the lions opened his mouth and showed his teeth, making me flinch backwards. My fear seemed to excite it because it approached towards me. I glanced frantically behind the bushes Alice was supposed to be and my heart stopped. She wasn't there. I looked back at the others and prepared myself to yell but I saw Jacob's eyes widen and I gulped. His expression changed suddenly from contentment to panic.

"Bella!" He cried out. Jasper's head snapped in my direction and his expression mirrored Jacob's. Suddenly I felt something on my waist and I told myself: _That's it, it's the end. _The something released me and I found myself in a small room.

"Put this on," Alice threw a white dress at me.

"What? Why? Alice, I don't want to do this anymore…"

"It's the Final! You only have to put this on. Please, Bella."

I shook my head in defeat and took the dress she was handing me. I quickly put in on and followed her outside.

"Make your presence know," She said as she left me. I wasn't prepared for what I saw; behind the glass wasn't only Jacob and Jasper, but also Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Esme and Carlisle, looking around themselves in a frenzy motion. I suddenly felt bad about doing this, but it was too late now.

I saw something land beside Edward's feet and I gasped as the lions lunged themselves on it. Edward's expression became horrified as he looked down. I squinted my eyes so that I could see better, and I saw blood… and meat? enveloped in the clothes I was wearing some minutes ago. Just when I thought this was going to far, I saw Emmett lunge himself onto the meat and begin to tear it with his teeth. I couldn't take it anymore; if I didn't react, something really bad was going to happen.

"Hey!" I yelled to them, shaking my hands in the air. Everyone turned towards me and the expressions that crossed their faces were so quickly replaced by others that I didn't have time to decipher them. I was to busy anyway. Too busy dreading their wrath. Jacob was at my side in an instant and he wrapped his arms around me so tightly that I couldn't breathe, but I didn't dare protest. We stayed like that for some seconds and meanwhile, the others had surrounded us. Like the lions earlier. I shivered as I thought about that; I would probably have nightmares for the rest of my life and it wasn't even worth it. Jacob released me and looked at me, annoyed, but I could still see the fear in his eyes.

"What was that about?"

_I might as well be honest_, I thought. "Hmm… a prank that w-went wrong?"

He was still looking at me and his expression was so disapproving that it only made me feel guiltier. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him several times before adding, "Please, please, please, forgive me; it was stupid and I'm so sorry."

He kissed me hard as if he didn't want to let go and I realized he had been scared he had lost me. I knew _I _would have been mad if he had done something like that, and his reaction made me love him even more, though I wouldn't have thought that possible. I kissed him with all my might.

"I can't believe you're going to forgive her like this," Rosalie said as we pulled back. "Bella, you scared us shitless!"

"She can be very persuasive," Jacob said. I pulled back from his embrace and took a step forward.

"I'm really sorry. It was a stupid idea. My apologies to all of you. I had no idea it was going to go so far and… out of control," I said.

"It's my fault, Rose; don't blame Bella. I was the one who came up with this idea," Alice said.

"You will all agree that this prank has gone too far… and that all those involved should be punished," Carlisle said. I looked at him and nodded. We deserved everything they would come up with, and being vampires and all, I knew it was going to be something we would not be pleased with at all.

"I was involved in this too, Carlisle," Edward admitted.

"You were?" Esme asked suspiciously. "Then why were you with us, practically intending to rip those animals apart when you saw them lunging on Bella?"

"I wasn't aware of the last part of this stupid prank," he glared at Alice. "What was that in Bella's clothes, anyway?"

Alice smiled and said vaguely. "Oh, you know, some meat I happened to find."

"Well, the blood tasted amazing," Emmett said.

"You have some blood near your mouth, honey," Rosalie told him. His tongue quickly darted out of his mouth to lick the blood at the corner of his mouth.

"Eww!" Jake and I said at the same time.

"What's the punishment, Carlisle?" Alice asked. Carlisle thought about it for a moment before speaking.

"I have to think about it. Everyone will have to say in this since all of us are concerned. Now let's continue with our visit."

The rest of the visit passed by quickly and uneventfully. Every time we would see a new animal, all of them, including Jacob, would compete against it to see who growled more fiercely. Yes, you guessed it. It was Emmett's idea. And then Jasper found another game: he began to manipulate the emotions of the animals and it was fun to watch them change from angry to frightened to loving. In summary, we all had a great time, and my heart sank when it was time to leave.

They would probably stay till the night but when I would wake up the next day, they would all be gone. It was hard to tell myself that I wasn't going to see them every again, but it was my choice, after all. I was the one who choose this life, but it seemed that one day with my past life brought me back to the point where I couldn't go on without the Cullens. I knew I would be able to live without them; I had done it before, but it was a difficult thing to do altogether when I had the choice. Suddenly I could understand what Edward might have gone through when he left. Not having the choice was sometimes easier than having the choice. And I was choosing my own life, whereas he had to carry the weight of that choice for his entire family. At least I was in a less difficult path than he had been, even though it didn't seem that way.

Edward seemed to notice my restlessness because he came to my side.

"I want to talk to you," he said. "But give me a minute to tell the others that we'll stay here for a while."

"Okay," I said. "I'll wait for you." I watched as he went and talked to them in an inhuman pace. After he finished, Alice gave me a kind smile and got into the car. Edward returned to me and opened the door to his Volvo. He got in the backseat and I did the same, still a bit lost in thoughts.

"You're sad," Edward stated, and when I looked up at him, there was understanding in his eyes. I didn't trust my voice at this moment so I nodded.

"Come here," he opened his arms and I didn't hesitate. I leaned closer to him, my back to his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. I was sitting between his legs and my head rested on his chest, as I took comfort of his arms. If only he knew how I felt… This was one of the moments I wished he could read my mind and that he could understand me without any effort from my part.

I don't know why I felt so tired. Tired of making decisions, I guess. For once, I just wanted to live my life freely and carelessly, but it seemed that I had to make one big, final decision first. I had to decided what I wanted from now on, what I couldn't live without; and the answer just seemed so obvious.

"I don't want you to leave," I told Edward. He began to play with my hair and I smiled. Just like old times.

"It's your choice, Bella. You only have to ask."

I turned to face him. "But it won't be fair to you," I whispered. He placed one hand on the side of my face and began to draw circles on my cheek. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed the sensation.

"Look at me, Bella," he said and I opened my eyes hesitantly. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm perfectly fine with it. I didn't expect to feel this way at all but… things between us aren't… awkward. I love you, Bella, and I'm happy that you've moved on. You have a wonderful life ahead and if only you knew how… happy… that makes me. You are happy, Bella. And I couldn't ask for more. At least I can take pride in the fact that for once in my life I did the right thing. I won't ask you for more. I'm a selfish creature, but not _that_ selfish.

"What would you say if I told you I don't want this to be our last meeting?" I asked cautiously.

"I'd say I'd be glad to grant this request of yours," he said. He gently kissed my cheek. "Because in case you haven't noticed, I don't want to leave you."

"Do you mean it?"

"Absolutely." I looked in his eyes for a long moment, thinking about how I wanted this to work out.

"I don't want to force you to come live here, of course. You have a life in Alaska; but it would be nice if you could visit from time to time." And I don't mean once in a year.

"And you don't mean once in a year," Edward said, mirroring my exact thoughts.

"Yes," I admitted shyly.

"Alice will be pleased; she had told me the exact thing before we arrived but I warned her not to tell you that. I didn't want to make you feel like you were being forced or something."

"One day with Emmett and I don't think I can live without his big brother ways anymore. I can't live without you all. I would miss you too much. The Cullens have me hooked," I laughed.

"Don't tell Emmett what you just told me, or else this will be his topic of discussion for the next few weeks," Edward joked.

"Promise," I said.

We were silent for a moment but it was a comfortable silence. He was right: it wasn't awkward. I couldn't wait to inform the others of my decision. Edward's thoughts seemed to mirror mine.

"What about Jacob?" he said after a few minutes.

"He'll understand. He knows how much all of you mean to me, and knowing him, there's a chance he came up with the same idea. He got along with Alice since the beginning, huh?"

"Yes," he mused. "It seems that way. He loves you very much, Bella."

"I know. I love him too."

Edward patted my arm. "We'd better get going before they start to wonder where we are."

The drive home was pleasant. Edward would occasionally ask me about my friends and school. I told him about Angela and Crystal. Especially Crystal and her exuberant personality. I told him about the parties I went to and everything that has been happening in Forks. It still surprised me how he always seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, even though Forks wasn't a place where the most exciting things happened. Well apart from the fact that all mythical creatures seemed to take refuge here.

We arrived in front of my house and I got out of the car.

"Ready to tell the news to the others?" Edward asked me.

"Yes; but I'm going to talk to Jacob first."

Edward smiled and led the way. "Well, come on, then."


	20. Announcement

**Dear readers, have I missed you? Because you have certainly missed me. Firstly I would like to advise you to check my profile from time to time because I'm going to put some news on it. I would have put it as an Author's Note but I don't want to disappoint you when you figure out I have not put another chapter, and that it's just an author's note. I just hate it when people do that. So whenever I have an announcement (funny how this chapter's name is 'announcement' too lol.), I'm going to put it on my profile. So check it from time to time. **

**Secondly, the story has taken a different path than I first intended, thanks to some reviewers who suggested me some ideas. I have created a forum, so it would be nice if you could visit. I have my first subject there and it concerns the future happenings of this story. Please leave a message there; it would really count a lot to me. **

**Thirdly (yeah it's a long list) this is to Iheartjacobblack! I figured you haven't checked my profile recently, because I have left a message for you there. Go see it! And yes, if you could leave your email address in one of your reviews, it would be nice because I would like to be able to reply to you from time to time. **

**Anyway, I'm sorry for the long Author's Note but I had a lot of things to say. I'm sure I have forgotten something, and I will remember it later when I have already posted this chapter and it's too late. Anyway, happy reading, my dears! **

**To go on my forum, go on my page, on the left side at the top. It's just below 'send message'. Please leave a message it's really important. Thank you!**

We entered and saw the others comfortably seated in front of the TV.

"What are you watching?" I asked. Emmett groaned.

"A stupid, chick movie," he said. "They won't even let me compete with the wolf."

"I have a name, bloodsucker," Jacob said, visibly annoyed.

Alice pulled me outside, and before I could ask her what was wrong, she hugged me. "I'm so happy, Bella! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"I have to talk to Jacob first," I said, knowing she'd already seen my decision.

"Oh don't worry; it will work out."

"How can you know that? You can't see his future."

"A little trust, please Bella," She said, "Now go talk to him. We were going to our old house anyway. I'll wait for you so you can have a ride."

"No, you can go. I'll take my truck," I told her.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Five minutes later, everyone was gone and I took Jacob's hand and led him upstairs. I went to sit on the bed and he did the same.

"I know what you're going to say, Bella," Jacob spoke and I looked up at him. "You don't want them to leave." I shook my head slightly and he pulled me closer to him.

"I understand. Did you tell them yet?"

"No I talked to Edward and he's fine with it. I wanted to know your opinion first. Tell me the truth, Jacob: am I being selfish?"

"Of course not, sweetheart. But tell me; I told you I knew what you wanted to talk about, and I know you don't want this to be the last time you see them, but what exactly do you mean by it?"

"I don't know yet," I traced my hand on his arm. "Maybe we could see them once in month or something like that. I just want to keep contact with them, you know? Is that okay with you? Tell me if you don't want to, because I want to know exactly how you feel."

"I don't have anything against them. I have to admit they stink but not _that_ much," he joked. I laughed and kissed him. He was being so understanding that sometimes I wondered if he was real.

He came on top of me and began to place hot kisses from my jaw to my earlobe, back and forth, very, very slowly, causing me to shiver. My hands found their way to his chest and I caressed those muscles I loved so much as I pulled his lips back to mine. Loving Jacob was the most natural thing in the world. He was not difficult; sometimes it still amazed me that just being with me seemed enough to make him happy.

My fingers knotted in the hair that stopped at his neck, the hair that he was growing because of me. One of his hands cupped my face, while the other one stopped at my waist. He was holding his weight so that he would not crush me, but I didn't like the distance between us. I hitched my legs around his hips, automatically pressing myself closer to him. This sudden proximity made him groan, and he kissed me more passionately than ever.

"You don't want to go to the Cullens' house?" Jacob whispered after some time.

"Later," I said. "Why? Do you mind spending some time with me?"

"The answer's so obvious," he answered before pressing his hips to mine, and I could actually _feel _how much he wanted to be here. I couldn't take it any longer; I lay him flat on his back and came on top of him. I captured his lips with mine and the hand that was at my waist went lower… at the small of my back… lower… lower… and landed right on my ass. He gave it a playful squeeze and I gasped against his lips. Jacob, my Jacob was an ass man. That realization made me smile.

I put my right hand on his hip and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Let me take care of you."

RPOV

"Emmett… later… I have to talk to Edward… first," I tried to convince Emmett that this was not the right time but he was being stubborn… and at the same time lowering my resistance, I might add, very quickly.

"Please Rosie baby, you'll talk to him later. Come on, say yes." My resistance crumbled.

"Okay." He took me in his arms and threw me on the bed. I would be dead if I were human. I would have to talk to him about his manners later, because this was not the time to protest. His mouth ravaged mine and a familiar yet more powerful fire erupted in me. We were in our home; a home we should never have left. So many memories of our lovemaking boiled in my mind. On the bed, the couch, the little table in the corner, Edward's piano… Oh God. This was arousing me so much I nearly attacked my beloved lover.

One hour later, I straightened my hair and went downstairs. I had a mission. I knew I was interfering, something I didn't normally do, but I would at least have warned Edward. I wondered what this family would do without me.

Edward was in front of the TV when I entered the room and he was flicking through the channels.

"She doesn't realize what she's doing," I said, coming straight to the point. There was no use in beating around the bush.

"I don't have a problem with Bella. We're both fine, thank you." If only he knew how exasperating he could be.

"In some way, I'm glad this is the last time you see her. Edward, believe me, nothing could be worse than having to see her everyday with another guy. Just let it go, she made her choice."

"Thank you, Rosalie, I'll keep that in mind," He said dismissively. I sighed. I would have warned him.

Bella and her boyfriend arrived some minutes later. I didn't personally like him, I mean, a human, okay, but a werewolf? But Bella loved him and I didn't have a say in it. He seemed to worship her and I wondered if they were imprints or whatever it was called. I have heard about imprinting but I didn't know much on the matter. I would have to ask her boyfriend later. It didn't matter anyway; the day was quickly coming to an end and we would all go to separate ways. It was just a matter of time.

"Can everyone please come here?" Bella said from the living room. When I arrived, everyone was seated so I went to sit next to Jasper.

"Hey Bella. I forgot to tell you," Emmet said. "You look really good. Sex does wonders, huh?"

I almost chocked on air. Bella's expected blush came on her cheeks and she looked shocked. I had no idea why, hey, this was Emmett we were talking about. Her boyfriend seemed uneasy. It was hilarious to watch their faces as understanding sank in. Edward was angry, very, very angry, and no one wanted to hold his gaze.

"Um… you… why… I … I don't…" Bella stuttered, shaking her head.

"Only two left," Emmett said in a low voice. "You know, I can give you some tips about how to make a guy want more. I mean, you have everything to please a guy but there are some spots where…" Emmett continued. I smacked his arm. He was making the poor girl more embarrassed than ever; but Bella surprised me by smiling evilly.

"I'll call you," She said.

Emmett just stared at her as I began to laugh uncontrollably. Bella had surely changed during the past year.

"Like I was saying there are some spots that are very sensitive and if you want, I can point them out for you. Don't worry, I can give your boyfriend some tips too so you aren't too disappointed… Bella?" He said.

"Yeah?" She said absent-mindedly.

"Why don't you blush?" He asked, frustrated.

"Too late," Jacob said. "It's been a lifetime since she stopped blushing."

"Oh, oh oh!!" Emmett turned towards Jasper. "It counts thrice, right?"

"No, Emmett. I doesn't," Jasper replied.

"But she haven't blushed in a long time!" He protested. "So it counts thrice."

"What counts thrice?" Bella asked. "Still betting Emmett?"

"Yeah of course. What else is there to do?"

"Kid," Jacob muttered.

"Come on, let Bella say what she has to say!" Alice interrupted. Everyone fell silent so Bella started.

"Well I've decided… I don't know how to say it," she sighed. "Could we keep contact? I… don't want to bear a separation." She pressed her palm to her forehead. "I love you all and this day has shown me that it's so much fun when you are here and I want you to stay."

I gasped. This couldn't be happening. I glared at Edward, who just shrugged. The nerve of this boy.

BPOV

What happened next I can't remember. Esme was hovering above me, while the others kept their distance.

"What happened?" I asked as I pulled myself in a sitting position. I saw Jasper bite his lower lip.

"Well, they all came on you at once and you fainted," Esme explained.

"Oh. Sorry," I muttered.

"In your absence we got some things sorted out," Jasper said. "We're going to stay here some more time but then we'll go back. Of course we'll visit, don't worry. It's just that Carlisle and Esme have responsibilities there in Alaska.

"We're just taking some vacation." Carlisle said.

I smiled. "Thank you for everything. All of you." My eyes went from every person in the room, all smiling. But when I stopped on Rosalie, I cringed. She was glaring at me with so much anger and hate that I wondered if her friendly behaviour of earlier was just an act. Her hateful expression reminded me of Edward in Biology the first day. I gulped and looked elsewhere. No one seemed to have noticed our exchange, and I wished I could forget it myself.

The evening ended and I quietly entered my truck. We had spent the two remaining hours talking about nothing in particular, and even though I wanted to stay a little more, I knew Charlie would be worried. I had no current intention to tell him about the return of the Cullens because I knew all to well how he would react. After all, they weren't going to stay. Maybe after I had sorted out everything, I would tell him, because there was no denying that I wanted them to visit often, and Charlie was not dumb. He would eventually find out.

I was just about to start the truck when I heard a soft tap on my window. I turned around to see Jasper. Opening the door of my truck, I stepped out.

"I'm glad we're staying after all, Bella," He told me. I smiled as he wrapped his cold arms around me. "But be careful, okay?"

I pulled back. "About what?"

"About Edward's feelings. Be careful."

"He told me he's fine with it, Jasper," I assured him.

That night I lay on my bed, curled in a ball, with the sheets from my toes to my shoulders, thinking about Jasper's words. I feel asleep shortly afterwards and let myself be pulled towards a dreamless sleep.

**Thank you for reading. The next few chapters are going to be decisive so don't forget to go on my forum. I have something to ask you all. Could you please give me some ideas of punishment for Edward, Alice and Bella? Remember? For the prank? Thank you guys! I love you all! Review please**


	21. Fearless

**Hello guys, how are you? From my part, I am incredibly well, even though I am a bit sad. It's hard to say but it has to be said. Moving On is coming to its end. This has been a marvellous experience and I am going to miss all your reviews. I think this is why I was dragging this story a bit; because I honestly don't want it to end. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I love you guys and that I am going to miss you. I don't regret starting this story at all, because it was worth all the difficulties. Your encouragements have made me realize that I _could _one day dream about becoming a writer. Thank you all so much. I love you guys!**

**P.S: this is not the last chapter, don't worry. The last chapter might be the next one and it is going to be named Epilogue, so you'll know. **

JPOV

"What are you thinking about?" Bella asked. She was sitting in my lap, facing me, and I had my arms around her, holding her tightly to me, and fearing- I might add- to let go. I was dead jealous even though I wouldn't admit that to her. No need to scare her off. It was my nature and having a Greek God lusting over her wasn't helping. I tried to tell myself a million times that she loved me and that she had gotten over him, but every time I saw them together, I felt my heart tightened. They seemed to have a complicity that I couldn't comprehend and I couldn't deny that I felt insecure.

What if she decided that she could have better? What if I wasn't enough anymore? No, she wouldn't ever even _think _about something like that. I didn't need to read her mind to know that she was in love with me; but I couldn't shake off the feeling that we could drift apart any second, and that if she was determined, I wouldn't be able to hold her in place.

I liked Edward but I couldn't keep from comparing myself to him. I hoped time would ease my pain.

"Jake?" Bella placed a hand on my cheek. _Oh yeah... what was I thinking?_

"About you, of course," I told her. I leaned in to kiss her but she pulled out of my grasp and got up. I stared at her, momentarily dazed but she didn't give me the chance to recover. She was already tugging on my arm, forcing me to get up.

"Come on, I have a surprise for you," She said with a mysterious smile. I couldn't resist smiling back. I got up and followed her, my hand still in hers. When we got out of the house, she tugged on my arm again.

"When did you get so slow?" She teased.

"Slow, huh? I'll race you, come on!"

I released her hand and began to run but I have barely covered a hundred metre when I stopped. I turned to face her and her face was amused. I went to her once more and she giggled. No matter how stupid I felt, I couldn't help but laugh too.

"I don't know where we're going," I said.

"It doesn't matter, let's race there," She laughed at me.

"Yeah, I know I'm stupid, now let's go." She took my hand and we began to walk. I had no idea where we were heading but I didn't care. I was going to make the most of every minute we spent together. We walked and walked, and after several minutes she stopped.

"I almost forgot," She said, fumbling in the front pocket on her jeans. "Now put this on." She put something in my hand and I looked down. A blindfold? I wondered what she was planning but I obeyed, securing the blindfold on my eyes.

"Now be careful. I hope you don't fall down because I won't be able to catch you," She snorted, "I can't even catch myself" On cue, I heard a crash and Bella muttered, "Hello ground how are you today?" I was about to take off my blindfold but she stopped me. "No, don't. I'm alright. Besides, we're almost there."

"Okay, but be careful. You'd think you were the one with the blindfold," I grumbled.

"Stop grumbling, we have arrived."

My blindfold was removed at once and my jaw dropped at the scene in front of me. On the ground lay a checked picnic blanket, a basket next to it and another two soft blankets. Several perfumed candles were scattered everywhere and I gasped when the sweet aroma filled my nose.

"Oh God, Bella," I couldn't find the words to describe what I was feeling. She had done that for me , and no one else. I briefly wondered when she had had the time to do all that, but I pushed every question aside.

I looked back at Bella and she had her hands clasped in front of her heart and her eyes were shining. I didn't know what she thought about this but it meant the world to me. I closed the distance between us and I took her small form in my arms. My senses were instantly filled with the scent I had become so used to, but would never get enough of. We stayed like that, wrapped in each other's arms for a long time before I pulled back to admire the amazing sight in front of me once more. I took her hand and lead her to the sample of paradise she had created just for us. We sat down and she showed me the contents of the basket: Chicken and potato salad, homemade 'lunchables' made with assorted crackers, sliced cheeses & sliced meats. Afterwards, cut fruits such as melons, grapes & oranges.

Then she took out a bottle of champagne.

"Where did you get that?" I asked. She leaned closer to me with a mischievous look on the face.

"You don't want to know," She whispered and then giggled.

We ate in silence although she would glance at me from time to time and I would let out a sigh of happiness. The food disappeared in a blink and Bella teased me about how much food I could eat in a minute, and I laughed freely for the first time in days. I had always had a big appetite and the werewolf in me had only increased it by ten. It seemed to be a source of amusement to her, and I knew that I would do everything to hear her angelic laugh every day of my life.

"So what do you think of my little surprise?" Bella asked, scooting closer to me. She pressed her back to me and I wrapped my arms around her, inhaling as much as I could.

"I love it," I said sincerely, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "More than I can tell."

"I love you, Jacob. Don't ever, ever forget that," She said as she turned to face me. I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It was supposed to be a chaste kiss but she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer to her. Afterwards we just lay down and I was once again enveloped in thoughts.

Usually, being phased brought the most amazing feeling in the world, you felt free of all your worries and responsibility; but this... these emotions that I was feeling at this moment were even greater than when I was a werewolf. I was feeling so amazingly good that my heart threatened to burst. After being surrounded by people-mostly the Cullens- for a whole week, spending some time alone just the two of us felt wonderful and I savoured every minute of it.

"I love you, Bella," I told her. She smiled. She was still _my_ Bella and would always be.

JPOV

I couldn't believe I had actually agreed to go on with this. Of course my beloved Alice had come up with the idea that there was no better way than a prank to punish someone for a previous one.

"Payback's a bitch," She'd said. And it would be a bitch indeed. We were all waiting for Bella to come back. We knew she had arranged a romantic evening for her boyfriend; it was so sweet of her that I almost backed away from what I was preparing myself to do, but we needed to get back at her for her prank, right? I had to admit it did not please me at all. I mean, a prank on Emmett or Edward was alright with me, but Bella was like a sister to me.

"She'll be here in one minute," Alice announced, making Emmett grin. They sure as hell was going to enjoy this. "Okay so this is really important," Alice said, taking my face in her hands. "Stay concentrated, and please get control of your emotions, because right now I'm feeling everything you are: fear, hesitation, shame, et etcetera, et etcetera... I don't want Bella knowing we're planning something, alright?"

"Yep," I said. "Don't worry I'll be fine. This is going to be fun."

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me lightly on the lips. Bella arrived just in time and I straigtened myself.

"Hello, guys," She smiled. From the corner of the eye I saw Alice wink at Jacob. The latter had not been particularly thrilled with the idea, but had gone on with it. He had consoled himself with the fact that Bella would not be mad.

"Hello, Bella," I started. "How are you today?"

"I'm good and you?"

"Fine..."

"Okay enough chitchat! We've got to go!" Alice stepped forward.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked as Emmett, Edward, Rosalie and Jacob began to follow Alice outside.

"_You _are going nowhere. Vampires and werewolf are going shopping; Jasper rescued you," Alice said.

"Yep," I explained. "We could stay here while Alice and Rosalie drag these poor boys to shopping." Bella's reaction was as planned. She beamed.

"Thank you for rescuing me, Jasper."

I smiled back at her. "No problem."

"Okay let's leave now so we can finish earlier," Emmett said.

"Oh no, Mister, we have hours of shopping to do so leave the complaining for later..." Alice said as they walked away. I went in the kitchen and sat down on a chair.

"Do you have something to drink?" Bella asked. Silly Bella. We stocked food and drinks here because of her, and after so much time she still asked.

"In the refrigerator," I answered. She opened it and took out a bottle of orange juice, which she poured in a glass. I stopped staring and thought about what I was going to do. How was I going to start it all? Fortunately it seemed like fate was on my side because I heard a shriek ans when I looked back at Bella, her shirt was strained with juice.

"Something brushed with my shoulder," She said. Okay, maybe it wasn't fate at all.

"You must have imagined it," I told her.

"I didn't," She persisted. "Anyway, can I take one of Alice's shirts?"

"Of course," I said. Alice had so seen this coming, if I knew my wife after all these years. Bella went upstairs and I knew the time had come. Eventually, I was beginning to like the plan. There was always the anticipation before a prank and that was what I was feeling. I waited two minutes before I went upstairs. Bella had removed her shirt and was searching in Alice's closet. She lifted her head when she heard me enter and her first reflex was to cover her chest with her arms, but not before I could see how beautiful she was. No wonder Jacob loved her. No, forget that. That was the man in me speaking. Her shocked expression was soon replaced by embarrassment as her cheeks reddened.

I didn't let her speak. I stepped forward. I was about one foot from her when I lifted a hand to her face. She stepped forward immediately, and she almost fell down. I caught her but as soon as she steadied herself, she moved out of my grasp. I stepped forward again but she took a step back, and then another... and another... until she was pressed against the wall.

I put my arms around her and her emotions went wild. She was a lot more than confused. She was anxious.

"Jasper, what are you..."

"Shh..." I put a finger to her lips. "Let me speak." I took a deep breath and started. "I've been wanting to tell you for some time, but we were never alone, and the rare time we were, I couldn't find the courage to talk to you. I have developed... feelings for you, Bella. Feelings that aren't at all... brotherly."

I could almost hear the click as her mind assembled everything.

"But... Jasper, wh-what about Alice?" She asked incredulously. "I thought you love her!" Her voice had risen and I had to force myself not to wince. I lifted my hand once more and brushed her hair from her face.

"I do, of course, but what I feel towards you... it's different. I have been reigning it in for so much time but I can't resist it anymore. Whenever I see you... Bella, I don't want to be only a brother to you anymore."

I looked down as if I was ashamed but when I looked back at her, her expression had changed.

"Let's run away," Bella said. I stepped back in shock.

"Wh-what?" I stuttered. Passion hit me in full force. Passion... from Bella. She took a step forward ans I felt like our positions had been reversed. She put her hands on my chest and stood on tiptoes. What was I going to do? This wasn't in the plan! _Calm down, Jasper, calm down,_ I though, _I'm sure she isn't going to kiss you_. Panic engulfed me as she leaned closer.

"I feel the same way," Bella whispered.

Oh God.

BPOV

I was searching in Alice's closet when I heard the footsteps. I looked up at Jasper and remembered I had taken off my shirt. I immediately put my arms in front of my chest. If it was possible to die from embarrassment, I would probably be dead and buried by now. I wished the earth beneath my feet could open up and swallow me. But of course that didn't happen. I expected Jasper to excuse himself and leave but instead he came to stand in front of me, and his hand reached for my face. I stepped back automatically as a wild though occurred to me. Oh God. Sure, he had seemed to be well in control since he and his family moved back here but how could I know when the urges to drink my blood became too strong for a vampire to bear? Especially Jasper?

I stumbled and I expected to fall but two strong hands steadied me. I stepped back again. I didn't want to die; I couldn't leave Jacob alone. And what about Charlie? This would break his heart. Jasper was closing the distance between us but I was suddenly confused. Why was he walking so slowly? Not that I was complaining but I knew that if he wanted, he could have killed me by now. My blood would be all over the place, and would ruin all Alice's clothes. Poor Alice.

My thoughts were cut when I felt something hard and cold behind my back. The wall. I didn't even remember walking; I thought I had stayed frozen in place. I was trapped. Jasper's hands went around my waist and I was suddenly struck by a thought. Maybe I could reason him. I didn't stood much chance but I had to try.

"Jasper, what are you..."

He pressed a finger to my lips "Shh...let me speak." I gulped but I suddenly felt relieved. He wanted to speak, and that meant he was in control of his thirst, even if I didn't understand his actions at all.

"I've been wanting to tell you for sometime," He started, "But we were never alone, and the rare times we were I couldn't find the courage to talk to you. I have developed... feelings for you, Bella. Feelings that aren't at all... brotherly.

Oh My. I wouldn't be able to say how much time I stayed frozen. Jasper... _my_ Jasper, my _brother_ had feelings for me. Lust Feelings. Was that why he had insisted we stayed home? Alone? Oh God, we were alone; did he think... My heart was beating so fast against my chest any second. Deep breath, Bella, breathe. Maybe he was just confused; maybe I could reason him.

"But... Jasper, wh-what about Alice?" I stuttered. I couldn't even form a proper sentence. How did I have the intention of making him see it was Alice he loved? "I thought you loved her!

With the back of his hand he brushed away some of the hair which were in my face.

"I do of course, but what I feel towards you... it's different." Yeah of course, you pervert! "I've been reigning it in for so much time but I can't resist it anymore. Whenver I see you... Bella, I don't want to be only a brother to you anymore."

Okay now, Bella, Plan A, push him away gently... My eyes caught a flash of blue just outside the window. Emmett had been wearing blue today, right? And earlier when something had brushed with my shoulder I had caught a glimpse of blue cloth disappearing through the door. Oh. It all clicked in my mind. Those mischievous vampires; and Jacob was with them! _Well let's see who's the most mischievous of them all_, I thought, laughing inwardly, but I kept my face passive.

"Let's run away," I told him. I saw him take a step backwards, and his eyes betrayed him. Shock was written all over him, so I had been right. It was a prank.

"Wh-what?" He stuttered. To make the most of the situation, I thought about my first kiss with Jacob, how it felt to be in his arms. How, with a simple touch, I craved more and more of him. I sent all these emotions to him. He felt it so forcefully that he stepped backwards again. I had to admit I didn't blame them for trying a prank like that. It was so funny to see his reactions. He was scared shitless, poor Jasper.

I put my hands on his chest and stood on my tiptoes. I lifted my face to his and I wondered how far I would have to go before Alice came running inside. Well, she probably already had a vision of my decision and had told the others, so I only had to wait for Jasper to back away. To disturb him even more, I thought about how much desire I felt towards Jake.

I leaned closer to him. "I feel the same way," I whispered. I was still leaning towards him and I couldn't wait for the moment when he would pull back. What if he didn't? No, he would, surely he would. I put my right hand on the side of his face and looked him right in the eye. His eyes flickered to my lips and within the next second, he was gone. He had been supporting my weight, and now I fell flat on my face.

Emmett's laugh was heard at once, followed by a loud noise, and a curse. I stood up and bean to laugh as well as Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Edward and Jacob arrived. Never was a day boring with the Cullens around.

Alice came running towards me and lifted a hand for me to high-five. I grinned to her.

"Bella, I'm sorry but I have to go comfort my husband and persuade him I didn't see this coming. Great job, thought!" She left as soon as she finished.

"This was so freaking funny!" Rosalie said. Jasper's face was priceless! I didn't know you had it in you, Bella!"

"I told you not to underestimate her," Jacob said, scooting closer to him. "You were right, Bella They're great."

I was pleasantly surprised to hear such a confession from Jake. I was really glad he got along with the Cullens because it made things very easy.

"Thanks, Jacob," Alice exclaimed, appearing instantly. You aren't so bad yourself... for a wolf!" She ran away and Jake was behind her at once. After a few seconds they disappeared from my view but I could still hear their laughter.

"Children," Rosalie and I sighed at the same time.

**{ }**

The days became routine and everything went by much quicker than I would have liked. Very soon the day of the departure of the Cullens arrived and my heart began to sink, but true to his reputation, Emmett distracted me and made me laugh so much that I forgot completely that they were going to leave soon. It was not until lunch that I decided that I could make fun of Emmett a little bit more. I was sitting in their kitchen and Jacob and I were eating the lunch Esme had prepared for us. She seemed to be taking her mother's role very seriously and I was going to miss her deeply. I hadn't really grasped the fact that they were really leaving, but I knew that when realisation would dawn on me, I would break down. But this time I was stronger, and I had many friends who would always be there for me. And it wasn't as if they were leaving forever; I would eventually see them, even if it wouldn't be for a little while. I just had to hope that I had matured during the period of time they were away and that I could now endure many more heartbreak before actually breaking down as a whole.

From the corner of the eye, I saw Emmett eyeing both Jacob and I curiously and I had to admit that it made me uncomfortable.

"What is it, Emmett? Please tell me before I kill you," I exclaimed.

"How can you eat this?" He said, pointing at my plate. I sighed.

"This is a chocolate cake and it is the best thing that has ever existed," I answered.

"How does it taste?"

"Sweet," I said. "Very, very sweet. Want some?" I handed my plate to him but he shook his head in disgust.

"Ughh, no thank you."

"Oh come on, Emmett, just a bite," I insisted. Jasper stepped in. After my little prank on him, Jasper had been rather distant, and Alice had told me that an unlimited amount of time and reassurances had been necessary to persuade him that I was not interested in him. Alice even told me that Jasper said, I quote, "She can be quite scary when she wants to." I laughed out loud for days just thinking about it after that, and I had to admit it was nice to see that he was now hundred percent certain that I wasn't going to jump on him.

"Chocolate cake is the only thing that we can digest, did you know, Emmett?" Jasper said.

"Yes," Edward added. "And it tastes nice too. I ate some once but it's not really my thing." Emmett looked back and forth, from Edward to Jasper, trying to determine if his brothers were truthful. Their perfect face betrayed nothing and even though Emmett was bluffed, he eyed the cake doubtfully, frowning.

"It's the best thing I've ever tasted," Jacob said, taking another bite. "You should try."

Emmett's eyes lit up at Jacob's comment; he seemed to trust the latter more than any of us, and although I should have offended, I completely understood Emmett.

"Okay then," Emmett finally accepted. "If it's as good as you say... but Edward must take a bite first."

Edward gulped. "I told you: It's not my thing."

"Never mind, Jasper will do the honour since he has nothing against chocolate cake," I said, trying to hide a smile. The latter looked at me with a shocked expression and stalked out of them room, after shouting in my direction: "You truly are EVIL!"

"Thank you, my love!" I shouted back.

{ }

"Haven't seen you much, lately, sweety," Crystal said. Today was the 13th of February and it had been a month since the Cullens left, and surprisingly enough, I didn't feel lost or depressed without them. They promised they would visit soon and even though I missed them, I didn't have the time to feel sad. My life was very busy and I spent my spare time with my friends, who I knew would never let me down. I was happy; maybe happier than I had been in all my life, and it felt good. I was nothing if the luckiest girl on earth.

My eyes darted to the people in the room: Seth, Embry, Quil, Jared, Paul, Leah, Sam, Emily, Crystal, Angela, Charlie and Jacob. I smiled.

"This is going to change," I promised. "I'm all yours now."

**Thank you all for reading, and don't forget to send me a few reviews to let me know you think of me. Once more, I love you!**

**To one of my favourite reviewers 'me': You are so good to me and I'm forever grateful. Here's a little song that has been illuminating my days for weeks now. Love Story by Taylor Swift. I wish you all the luck and I wish to know your name. I wonder if that's possible? Lol.**


	22. Wish Me A Happy Birthday

Hello everyone, I apologize if you thought this was an update. Usually I hate it when writers do that, and I had promised myself not to do it ever, but... well, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Yeah I know I'm crazy. I'm 16 today, and I am happy. Wish me a happy birthday? I never ask for anything (apart from reviews.. and messages... and advices..) yeah I know I ask for a lot of things, but please? It's my birthday. Just so I know you care. Those who don't usually review, please! I'm not asking you to leave a review to tell me what you like and don't like about my story, blablabla... it's just two words. Please? This is also an occasion for me to know how many people read my stories, and wait for my updates. I promise I'm not doing this to be mean, I just want a little 'happy birthday'. So, those who don't usually review, it's just two words! It takes 5 seconds. Thank you a lot guys, I love you all!

Now about Moving On. You really thought I was going to put this without telling you a bit about my story? How naïve you are. The story is going great! I've got a really big idea on Thursday and usually when I get an idea that inspires me as much as this one does, I write very quickly. And I did! I'm almost finished. I could have posted it in two days, but it will leave at a cliffhanger, and then you would have to wait for me to write the next chapter and then post, etc., etc... So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to write at least three quarter of chapter 23 before posting chapter 22. It will take about 6 days or so.

When I finish I will replace this message with chapter 22 and I don't think that when I replace a chapter you get an email informing you. So, check this page in one week, on next Sunday because I will have updated by then. I'm in holidays for two weeks, so I will have more time to write at home. Maybe I will have updated before next Sunday, but I'm not sure. I promise in one week I would have updated, though.

Thank you for reading this and I hope you are not too angry with me. And don't forget, guys, it's only two words, which takes about 5 seconds. There are so many people who read my story and who don't review. With each update I get about 200 people coming on my page, but only about 20 or less review. This is an occasion for you to make yourself known. Please, make me happy on my birthday!


	23. Escape The Rain: Part 1

**Hello everyone! So I wanted to thank you for being so great in numbers to wish me a happy birthday on the 5th of April. Thank you very much, guys, it meant a lot. So, about this new chapter. I know I promised it on Sunday, but I forgot that I was not going to be home. It was Easter and I had gone to some family's place. Really sorry I forgot that! This chapter is the longest one I've written, and I've really worked heart and soul on it so I hope you guys like it. **

**p.s- The lyrics in this chapter have been written by Candace Charee, a really great singer with a great voice. The link to her songs is on my profile. Listen to 'Escape The Rain' while reading. If the link on my profile doesn't work, just type it in the address bar. Whatever you do, listen to the song while reading because it's vital to be able to understand the emotions in this chapter. This chapter was inspired by it and I really thank Candace because her song made me write a wonderful chapter. I'm pretty proud of it myself. So, onward!**

EPOV

I gazed around the room I had so long before memorized. I sat down in the rocking chair and memories of the many nights I had spent there, watching her sleep flooded in my mind. Everything was like I remembered. I stood up once more. We had come for a visit, my family and I. It had been five months since we'd left Forks, and we were all missing Bella. Everything was fine in Alaska. It wasn't as gloomy and depressing as the first time we had left; maybe because everyone could now talk of Bella freely without receiving deathly glares, or menacing growls. I laughed. Yes, it had to be that.

I walked to the very corner of her room, behind her desk, and knelt down to the wooden flooring there. With my non-human strength I wrenched the floorboard up, revealing about a six inch space beneath it. I took out the gifts I had hidden under it and passed my fingertips over them. There was everything: the plane tickets, the pictures and the CD I had made especially for her. I tapped my foot on the floor and it seemed that from where I stood, the floor didn't seem empty. Bending down, I wrenched the floorboard up. Just beside where I had hidden the gifts myself, was a sheet of white paper with Bella's handwriting. I took it out and without thinking, began to read.

Strip this pain you left me in

crave me still I'm screaming out your name

Free me from this forsaken road

Erase my fears of living our life alone

Escape the rain, run to me, cradle me, yearn for me,

Can you hear my cries, escape the rain

How do I escape the rain?

Keep me alive, revive my love,

I need you, whisper my name

Break down these walls, un-cloud my day

Help me breathe, don't give up on me now

Escape the rain, run to me, cradle me, yearn for me,

Can you hear my cries, escape the rain,

How do I escape the rain?

Can you heal these wounds from bleeding inside?

Inside, Inside,

Inside

Escape the rain, run to me, cradle me, yearn for me,

Can you hear my cries, escape the rain,

How do I escape the rain?

My long-dead heart broke as I read these lyrics. It literally tore me apart. The pain, the desperation that were so apparent in every word made me crumble to the floor and curl my body into a ball. The knowledge that I was the one that had caused such soul-ripping distress would haunt and torture me for the rest of my existence. The realization that I could afflict such pain to an innocent angel made me feel like the most despicable creature that ever walked this earth. A soulless monster; how many times had she argued that I did have a soul, that I was good. It was in the honour of doing a good deed so as to erase at least one of my atrocious acts that I had left her life. I wanted to offer her the best I could give offer: a normal life, away from me, and away from all the creatures that could only cause her pain. I did not blame Jasper for my mistake, nor did I consider him responsible in any way because what had happened during Bella's eighteen's birthday was only a mere reflection of what usually happens when a human is too close to vampires. The word 'vampire' itself is horrible. Do I think of all vampires as despicable creatures? No, because even though their nature is as such, some vampires are able to escape everything and devote their existence to doing good. Carlisle is an example. He detested everything he had become, but this new status of his has helped to saved many lives, and if one day he was to cease to exist, he would know that there was a place that was awaiting him. Whereas I was bound to land in hell.

It was in an attempt to follow Carlisle's steps that I had took this decision that had inevitably changed the course of my existence in a way I would never have thought possible. In doing so, I was at least a fraction as good as him. All throughout these twelve months I was absent from Bella's life, I had argued with myself on the question of whether I was good or not, of whether this decision I had taken was really for Bella's sake, or only for my selfish need to feel that I had done something good at least once in my existence.

And now, to know that by leaving, I had only accentuated her pain... it was the most atrocious feeling. I would change that, though. It seemed that Bella still needed me, and I would do everything I could to win her back.

I walked out of Bella's room and made my way towards our house, where I knew Alice would be. I took the lyrics with me because I would need proof, even though there was a chance that Alice had already foreseen my decision. I was right: as soon as I reached the house, I saw her, already waiting for me in the garden.

"Don't even think about it," She warned. I stopped at about one feet in front of her and was surprised one more at how much force someone so small could put into her words.

"Look what I found, Alice. It's a song she wrote, and it is full of so much pain and distress... How can I let this pass?" Alice took the sheet of paper from my hand and read. With every word, her expression became more and more hurt, exactly how I had reacted, even though my reaction had been more pronounced.

"This must have been very hard for her," Alice said quietly, and I had the feeling she was talking to herself. She was staring at the words but her gaze was elsewhere. Many thoughts were flying in her mind, but I concentrated on her actual words. "Everyday, waking up to find an empty bed, thinking and re-thinking about everything, every word, every touch, hanging so tightly to the memories... How do I escape the rain..." She fell silent. In her mind, Jacob was the solution to Bella's every problem, but I was not of this opinion. She needed me.

"What does this mean, Alice? That I still have my chance with her? That she cannot live without me?" I asked, frustrated at my own incomprehension of the situation before. She loved me; she needed me.

"Edward, no," Alice said firmly. "She has moved on, and she is happy. Don't ruin that now." I knew she was not only caring for her best friend, but also for Jacob. She was trying to save him from heartbreak, but what could I do? It was up to Bella to make that choice and if she still wanted me, I would take her. I had no idea why I ever thought she was meant to be with someone else.

"What do you know, Alice?" I snapped, putting the sheet of paper in front of her face."She says she's bleeding inside. Inside! How can you know that this isn't an act? That she is faking happiness? What do we know, Alice?"

Alice was furious, but so was I, and I didn't pay much attention to her. She could say whatever she wanted, I would still try and win my love back.

"How can you say that? This isn't a game! I don't recognize you, Edward; I honestly don't. This song has been written _before_ Jacob came in her life, _before_ she fell in love with him, after you just left her, I am sure of it. Please, see reason, Edward. Don't make Bella go through this again." _Or I won't ever forgive you_, She thought in her mind. Her last words froze me for a fraction of a second, before I was running in the direction when I had come, to Bella's house.

When I arrived there, the house was empty, and I realized I had forgotten that Bella had gone to La Push to see her friends. I was grateful that we were now all supposed to be friends, and that we had the right to go to La Push now. But this would change soon if I succeeded in what I was planning to do.

APOV

I just stood there, watching as Edward's figure disappeared into the woods. I couldn't move for a long moment, but then I snapped out of my state of unconsciousness, and ran inside the house. I had no idea what I was hoping to find, but once inside, I took out my mobile phone from my front pocket and dialed Jasper's number. The latter answered on the first ring.

"Alice? What's going on?"He asked frantically.

"It's Edward; he's going to find Bella and try to win her back. He's found a song she wrote and he thinks she's still in love with him,"I said quickly.

"I'm coming over," He said before he hung up. I, usually so in knowledge of what I had to do in a particular situation, could not think of anything suitable. He was quicker than me and by now, he must have arrived at La Push. Even if was able to stop him before he reached Bella, what was I supposed to say? He was very determined, and I doubted that I would be able to make him see reason. When Edward was decided, nothing could stop him. It was the same as when he told us we had to leave, when he said he could no longer continue to put Bella's life in danger. He did not listen. He did not understand that leaving would put Bella in more danger than ever before. And now it was happening again.

Jasper arrived, running, accompanied by Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett. Esme and Carlisle looked worried, but it was clear from Rosalie's and Emmett's faces that they were furious. I stayed still as they approached. Jasper came towards me and cupped my face. He stared me in the eye, asking me silently to explain.

"Edward is on his way to La Push. I see him telling Bella about the song and telling her she still has the choice. I can't see Bella's decision, though. For her, there is no doubt," I said.

"If it is as such, there is no need to be worried," Jasper said, trying to calm me. I was sure he could sense my distress but whatever he did would not be able to make me feel otherwise. I just _knew_ something bad was going to happen.

"What do you mean 'there is no need to be worried?' Edward is going to ruin everything, once more!" Rosalie snapped.

"Yeah, Jacob is a good guy. He doesn't need to go through this. And neither does Bella," Emmett added, equally furious.

"Calm down, Rosalie, Emmett, we do not know anything. Maybe it won't be that bad," Esme said.

"No, Esme, I just sense it. I know I can't see anything yet, but something bad is going to happen."

"What I am afraid of," Said Carlisle, "is that this might result in a fight between vampires and werewolves... and I am afraid they are in greater numbers."

I shook my head slightly. It was the last thing I wanted.

"_We, _Carlisle? I'm afraid you are mistaken. I won't back him up this time," Emmett said, a severe expression on his face. Rosalie nodded.

"Me neither."

Jasper looked at me. I looked back for a few seconds and then turned back to go inside. We could only wait after all. We had to hope this would not end in disaster. I closed the door and leaned back against the wall. I realized Jasper's presence only when I felt his hand on my cheek. I rested my head on his chest and he wrapped an arm around my waist. His chin rested on my head and I felt calm.

"I won't fight with him against the wolves Jazz. I told him if he was going I wouldn't ever forgive him... he still did," I whispered.

"It's okay, Al, I understand," Jasper quietly replied. A devastating feeling of dread enveloped me as I thought of the chances that the outcome of Edward's decision might lead to a disaster. The odds weren't very good.

BPOV

"What are you doing? Please, at least let me finish before you start," I said, exasperated. We were at Emily's and Sam's place and I was preparing some pizzas. I thought that I had pretty much finished and I felt very proud of myself, but when I turned around, I saw only a whole pizza left and some small bits that were being swallowed by Embry and Jared. I couldn't believe it. I had spent almost two hours in the kitchen and all my efforts were being swallowed in less than ten minutes.

"Sorry, Bella, but they're just so good," Embry said.

"Yeah, we're hungry," Quil added. _Still? _I thought incredulously. I looked at Jacob who was wiping his mouth.

"I told them to wait," He said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Thanks for waiting for me. I... you know, I... I'm just gonna sit down for a moment while you guys cook for me." I said. The guys groaned but got up and obeyed. I liked being in control; it was an amazing feeling. I went into the living room to join Crystal and Emily, who were watching a movie. As I sat down next to them, Emily looked at me with an amused expression on the face.

"Not easy, huh?"

I sighed. "I won't ever take your job again; next time I let you do the cooking," I said. Crystal smiled.

"Most of the time it's worth it," Emily explained, a knowing smile on the face. "The pack makes up a big family on their own, and with us, it's even bigger. The thing that makes me happy that never makes me lose hope is that no matter what ever wrong or misunderstanding happens between the guys, it never last. Everything always turns out right no matter what."

Crystal had a puzzled expression on the face and I realized Emily had let something slip.

"What do you mean by 'the pack'?" Crystal asked.

"The guys; they make me think of a pack of wolves," Emily replied, without missing a beat.

"Oh yeah," Crystal agreed.

Final Destination was playing on TV and I was about to begin to watch when Jacob arrived with the pizzas. He shared them and then sat down on the floor due to the lack of space on the couch. I took a small bit and was surprised that it actually tasted good. We should make them cook more often," I said. "These taste better than mine."

"No, no, no! Not again! This was just an occasion, don't get used to it," Jacob said quickly.

"You have to, Jake," Emily said, smiling.

"That's what you get from being good at everything," Jacob grumbled. I laughed. I took another, bigger bit, preparing myself to be amazed once more but my eyes landed on the TV at the same time as a gross scene was appearing on the screen. I gagged and my stomach churned.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!" I cried.

"Oh God, Bella, it's just a movie," Crystal said, rolling her eyes at me. Being the child that I was, I stuck my tongue at her.

Just as Emily opened her mouth to speak, someone knocked on the front door. I snorted.

"Who knocks?" Crystal said, mirroring my thoughts. Jacob went to open the door and I heard Edward's voice.

"Can I talk to Bella?"

"Yeah, of course. Come in," Jacob said.

"Thank you."

"Who is that?" Crystal whispered to me but as soon as Edward appeared, her eyes widened.

"Edward Cullen?"

Edward's eyes flickered to hers and his expression became confused. He soon brushed it off and turned his attention to me, which shocked me. Usually he was more polite. I didn't have time to think about the fact that Crystal had seen Edward and that I would have to explain why the latter was here, and most importantly, why he wanted to talk to me. She would figure out I knew he was back in Forks, but like I said, I didn't have time to think about any of that because Edward was now standing in front of me.

"I have to talk to you," He said, his expression so serious that I feared to ask what he wanted to talk about.

"Okay," I said and followed him outside.

"Let's take your truck," He said.

"Where are we going?"

"To your place, or anywhere. It's... personal."

Not wanting to discuss his intentions, I got in my truck and began to drive. I waited for him to say something but he stayed silent. I figured he wanted to wait till we got to my place, so I didn't say anything. I glanced at him and there was an expression on this face that made me shiver. But not in a good way. It made me shiver in fear. It was an expression that I had a feeling I did not want to decipher. The drive did not last long and it was a good thing because I didn't know for how much time I would be able to bear this awkward silence.

When I arrived in front of my house, I was about to get out of my truck and was surprised to see Edward already out, opening the door for me. There was a time when this seemed natural; how much time had passed and how many things have changed since then! My life was unrecognizable. I got out and looked up at Edward. It was then that I noticed a sheet of paper in his hand.

"What is it?" I asked, pointing my chin in its direction.

"I found this in your room," He said.

"You went in my room?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I... it doesn't matter," He handed me the sheet of paper and I was greeted with my messy handwriting. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to go in my room and take something there... but, wait, I didn't write this.

Strip this pain you left me in

crave me still I'm screaming out your name

Free me from this forsaken road

"This is not mine," I said, not bothering to read further.

"It's your handwriting," Edward said.

"Yeah, but... I didn't write this," I shook my head frowning. "I would have remembered."

"Bella, you did. You wrote this," He insisted. I was starting to get annoyed. I said it was not mine, what more did he need? Proof from the NASA?

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you about this song you wrote and..."

I cut him. "What do you mean 'this song I wrote'? I don't write songs. I never did,"

"Then what is this?" He shook the paper in front of my eyes.

"What do I know? What are you accusing me of, exactly?" I cried. His expression changed suddenly, became more vulnerable.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to... act like this. I really need to tell you something important."

"Go on," I said quietly.

"I wanted to give you a normal life, Bella, and that would only have been possible if I left your life. That's the reason I took this drastic decision; the only reason. It's not because I didn't love you anymore. I _did _love you and I still do."

"Edward, what... what is this all about?" I was getting really confused now.

"Let me finish. Please." I nodded. "I still love you but you had moved on, so I resigned myself to being only a friend to you. But now, with this song, I can't let it pass and make as if it was nothing. Read these lyrics and tell me that I don't need to worry, that you're happy. Tell me the truth and I'll go, I promise."

I nodded and took the sheet of paper from his hand. There was pain, sadness and incomprehension, but I couldn't understand why this was related to me. Sure, it looked like my handwriting but maybe it was someone who had pretty much the same handwriting as mine. I wasn't unique. But how had this landed in my room?

"I honestly don't know what to say, Edward. This is not something I wrote," I said calmly, hoping he wouldn't get mad again. He didn't; he sighed.

"Alice said that you might have written it just after we left, when you were in a catatonic state," He winced when he said the last part.

"Maybe... I don't remember any of those months at all. Charlie said I wasn't really conscious."

He looked at me with tortured eyes. "So you don't mean this? I mean, you're happy?"

At this moment, looking into his butterscotch eyes, I didn't know what to say. The right answer would be yes, I was happy. Incredibly and surprisingly happy; but his expression was so pained that I just _had _to find the right way to said it, to explain everything to him. I knew a simple yes would be enough for him to understand that I was in love with Jacob and that he didn't stand a chance, but I felt like I owed him a full explanation. He needed to let go.

I took his left hand and led him inside. We sat on the couch and I faced him.

"It was a struggle to breathe every time I was alone; everyday I woke up, screaming after a night full of nightmares, and got out of bed, to start a new day. It wasn't difficult to function; I think I was in a state of "pilote automatique". I went to school, did my homework, went to work, and then talked to some people. Well, from what I've heard, I didn't really speak. I responded only when someone talked directly to me, and just some syllables. I always had this hole in my chest ripping me apart whenever I thought of any of you. Someday, I don't really remember when, I went to see Jacob to ask him if he could repair my motorcycle. He was always so sweet and it surprised me how much he really appreciated my company, so I continued to see him even after the motorcycles were repaired. He was such a great friend to me, helping me to get through all this. He always seemed to know what I liked and what I didn't like to talk about. He knew exactly what what to say and when to say it. In his presence... the hole didn't rip me apart even when I thought of you, but when I was alone once more, the pain in my chest would become unbearable again and I had difficulty to breathe. I had come to a point where I needed him to be able to function properly.

Then after some time, the hole disappeared. It wasn't as if it had been healed, but like it was never there in the first place. Somewhere across the time we spent together, I fell in love with him. Yes, I am happy," I stopped for a slight moment, "You have to let go, Edward, it's over. Someday you'll find someone, I'm sure of it. Someone that you will love even more than you loved me; you just don't know it yet."

Edward remained silent for a long moment, thinking about everything I had said. He looked at me, slowly lifting his eyes back up to mine, and smiled sadly.

"It wasn't meant to be," He said softly.

"It wasn't meant to be," I agreed.

Slowly, he touched my arm with his fingertips and then enveloped me in his arms. I hugged him back, not because it was proper, but because I wanted to. I didn't need this to let go, but he did, and I wanted to give it to him. We stayed like this for a short moment before he pulled back to look at me. There was a peculiar expression on his face and I felt my heart begin to beat faster as he bent his face towards mine, very, very slowly.

"Edward, no..." I began but he cut me.

"Please, give me this. Just a kiss, please," He whispered. I looked at his beautiful face and I battled to myself between granting him a kiss or not. Deep down, I was a little scared that this might wake up the feelings that I was so sure was erased. What if they weren't erased but just buried? This kiss would give me the answer; I had to be true to Jacob and if I still had feelings for Edward, I had to know it.

"Alright," I said.

His eyes flickered to my lips and it seemed like our first kiss all over again. His breathing quickened and he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them once more he put his left hand very slowly on the side of my face,. His thumb grazed my cheek softly. He began to lean in very, very slowly once more and I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the battle in his eyes. I could feel his cool breath on my mouth but it didn't make me dizzy. Instead I stayed fully conscious as suddenly, his lips were on mine. I didn't dare move; I couldn't have even if I had wanted to. The hand that was on the side of my face moved lower, to my neck as his lips pressed harder to mine. My heart was beating frantically and I kissed him back softly. His hand came back up again to cup my face and he pulled back , his face still close to mine. He leaned in once more but this time he inhaled my hair deeply for a small moment before pulling back again.

"Thank you," He whispered. "I love you, Bella; I always will." Something in his eyes told me he had let go. I had no idea how I could affirm such a thing, I just knew.

After Edward and I had parted, I went into my room and lay down on my bed till I fell asleep. When I woke up, Jacob was lying on the bed with me, and he smiled when I looked up at him. I had never loved him more than at this moment. I kissed softly on the mouth.

"I love you," I said. His smiled broadened and he passed his fingers lightly in my hair, pushing it out of my face.

"It was in my way," He murmured before kissing my cheek sweetly, then my nose, my eyelids, my forehead, my chin, and then my lips, while I simply smiled. Jacob was the most wonderful person ever. It was amazing how he could make me feel loved without actually saying the words. After all this time it still made my heart race.

We stayed there, wrapped in each other's arms for a long moment before he spoke again.

"What did Edward want? He sounded anxious."

"He found a song I 'supposedly' wrote just after he left me; Just after he left, I was in my 'zombie mode', I'm sure Charlie told you or your father about that."

"So you wrote that song?" Jacob asked.

"Maybe; I don't know. I don't remember those months at all, so I could have written that," I said, thinking how I could forget an entire few months of my life. It was my only way of escape; when I was numb, I couldn't _feel_ the pain.

"So?" He asked.

"He thought I was unhappy," I answered. "That I still loved him. So he came and told me I still had the choice."

Jacob was silent for a few moments and I was beginning to fear that he was imagining the worst when he spoke.

"I'm... sad for him; I understand how it feels to lose someone you love. I'm not supposed to like him, but I can't seem to remember why."

"He let go today," I said. I sat up and looked at him. "And I have something to tell you. He really needed to let go and he asked me for something." I had no idea if I was supposed to be anxious or not. I had no idea how he would take it, and what his reaction would be. I knew I should not have kissed Edward, but at that time, his eyes had been so pleading, and I knew this was the only way for him to let go.

"I kissed him."

Jacob was on his feet in an instant, at the other end of the room. He had an angry expression on his face and his hands were shaking.

"What?! You mean... you kissed him?" He shouted. I began to walk over to him but he held up a hand for me to stop.

"Jacob, he needed to let go..." I began, desperate, but I stopped when his whole body began to shake.

"Jacob, please," I whispered, knowing he could hear me. "Listen."

If I had blinked I might not have seen it, but my eyes were wide open and they took everything in.

He phased right in front of me, his clothes bursting into shreds around the room. I was suddenly more terrified than I had ever been in all my life. Even at his angriest, Jacob had never phased in front of me, apart from the day he had taken me to La Push to meet the pack for the first time, but even then his anger had not been directed towards me. I looked at the enormous wolf on the other side of the room and tried to recognize my Jacob in it, but even as I looked into its eyes, I couldn't see the familiar sparkle he always had when I was in the same room as him. I could only see the reflection of a stranger.

A tear escaped my eyes as the wolf took a step towards me.

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	24. Escape The Rain: Part 2

**Hello guys! Another long chapter for you! I know you love me! Lol. Thank you to all those who are still reading my story!**

**To Emily Ann: Thank you so much! Yes, I meant cool breath. Lol. Sorry. Thank you for letting me know. Your reviews made me so happy! I'm glad you are liking this story. Did you really read the whole story in one day? Wow. I amazed lol. Thank you once more! And yes, is your email address (at) or something else? Tell me. **

JPOV

Edward arrived and told us everything was settled and that it had been of no use for us to come home early from hunting since he was responsible enough to take care of such a situation. To be honest, I didn't trust Edward in the least to handle a situation like this carefully, but it seemed like he did, since he was coming home unscathed.

There was something strange with his emotions; he usually felt jealous, hurt and just a big angry. It was a mixture of emotions that I had become used to and that I had associated him with since we came back in Forks to see Bella for the first time. But today something was different; I would probably not have noticed it had I not been paying particular attention to Edward, but I was. Ever since we decided to visit Bella from time to time, I had been observing him carefully, taking in his every emotion so as to be able to perceive the tiniest change. Alice didn't know it, but I wanted to know if Edward moved on, and that's why I had been doing this. I really wanted him to move on.

Today- surprisingly, because I hadn't been expecting any change so soon after he found a song Bella wrote about our departure- his jealousy had decreased considerably and even though the pain remained intact, he was no longer angry. Not feeling this constant emotion coming from him released me from an atrocious pain and I felt like a weight had been removed from my shoulders.

Alice had told me Edward asked Bella for a last kiss and she agreed. I couldn't understand why he would ask for such a thing when he knew Bella was engaged. And I couldn't understand how Bella could agree. Did that mean she had come back on her decision? That she chose Edward? It had to be a recent change if that was the case because there hadn't been a hint of uncertainty in her the last time I saw her.

Alice told me she wanted to see Bella, so we were on our way to her house. As soon as we arrived in the neighbourhood we heard Bella's voice.

"Jacob, please, listen..." It was a whisper but we could hear it well from where we were. I looked at Alice and I'm suer I had the same worried expression that she wore. I thought they were just in an argument, though, until the emotions of someone nearby hit me with full force. There was so much anger that I almost stumbled backwards. It was then that I heard the loud noise. It was like something exploding. I didn't realize I was running until I was in front of the house and saw a big, rusty- coloured wolf escape through the door. I had no idea how such a big animal could pass through such a small door, but I couldn't dwell on it at this moment.

I ran inside and saw Bella on the floor. I was about to go see if she was hurt but I was hit with a bunch of emotions so powerful that I fell on my knees; I tried to hold myself together by putting my arms across my chest but I felt like I was about to explode. Anger, pain, jealousy, distress, regret and heartbreak invaded all my being and I could no longer think properly. I saw Alice burst in and Bella's voice echoed in the small room.

"Alice, alice, alice..." She wailed. "Run after him. Don't let him go, please." Alice knelt beside her to check that she had nothing and then her expression became relieved.

"Alice!" Bella cried.

"Bella, I can't do anything. I'm sorry," Alice said.

"Oh, Alice, you have to. Don't let him go away..."

"He's too angry and he can be dangerous," Alice tried to explain.

"Please, please, Alice..." Bella whispered. Alice looked at me and I could sense her resolve crumbling. I knew that with her eyes she was trying to ask me what she should do. Going after Jacob when he was in this state meant that she could get killed, but staying there meant risking having Bella reproaching her later. Alice came to kneel beside me and placed a hand on my cheek.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes,"I managed to say. She stared at me for a brief second before disappearing through the door. I knew she didn't want Bella to reproach her afterwards. I would do the same, but I had to think of the possibility that Alice might not come back. Even in my state, this realization didn't depress me because I knew that if this happened, I would not outlive her by long. Wherever we were, we would be together.

Bella was still crying on the floor and I forced myself to get up and to go to her. The pain was almost unbearable but I took her in my arms and led her upstairs, lying her on the bed. Her small arms came around me and I sighed sadly. I took her in my arms and rocked her back and forth for a long moment. I didn't talk, I didn't move as Bella's tears fell endlessly and sobs rocked her small, fragile body. I made sure to hug her lightly so as not to crush her, but she hugged me fiercely, trying very hard to hold on to the last person who could understand her... who knew.

I wanted to inform the others of what had happened but I didn't want to leave Bella. I would never be able to forgive myself is she woke up and I was gone, leaving her at such a moment, when she was doubting everything and everyone. Back at the time when Edward introduced her to us, I did not have any particular animosity towards her like Rosalie did, but I admit that I was annoyed and scared. Annoyed because Edward was providing me with a torture that I hated by having to be so close to a human several times during the week; and scared because I did not know if I could handle it. I did not know if I was strong enough, considering that I had been struggling with this new lifestyle for two years, and that I was still prone to blood lust. I had not been very close to her even though I had wanted to; this strange human intrigued me.

And now as I held her in my arms I realized how many things had changed. We had gone, we had come back, Bella had moved on and I could now be in a room full of humans without having the burning in my throat bothering me. This change occurred after we left and I knew it was because I had been feeling guilty for so much time that I couldn't concentrate on anything else, least of all my thirst. One year of guilt had changed me completely. I still felt guilty in a way, but then I think that if we hadn't left, Bella wouldn't have fell in love with Jacob. I couldn't help feeling depressed after seeing what I saw today. Bella was too fragile to be going through this again. She felt so frail in my arms that it felt like she could break any moment and turn into dust. After losing Alice, this was my greatest fear: hurting Bella.

I breathed in slowly and concentrated on clearing my thoughts so as not to make Bella feel what I was feeling and be more depressed. She had fallen asleep some hours ago and I had been able to learn the pattern. Sometimes her breathing and heartbeat would quicken and she would begin to feel afraid. All I had to do was to rub her back gently an murmur that I was here for her to sleep peacefully again. We were now lying on the bed, my arm around her shoulders and her head on my chest. It was hard to feel what she was feeling. If I could cry I would now be crying along with her. She was the closest thing to a sister that I could ever have.

I looked at the mobile phone that was in my front pocket and decided to call Carlisle. I dialled his number and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Carlisle. I am with Bella. She had a fight with her boyfriend and he's run away. Alice is trying to find him but it's been hours and she still hadn't called, and I'm worried. Bella is asleep but I can't leave her alone. Do you mind sending someone over so that I can try to find Alice?" I had talked in a low voice so that Carlisle could hear and Bella couldn't. I knew that when she would wake up her emotions would go wild and I wanted somebody to look after her while I was gone.

"We are all coming, Jasper. Thank you for calling," Carlisle said.

"Okay... um, wait. Tell Edward to stay away; I don't think it's a good idea for Jacob to see him near Bella when he comes back."_ If he comes back,_ I thought.

After I hung up I looked back at Bella and wondered when life had become so difficult. After some minutes I took my mobile phone once more and dialled Alice's number. It range endlessly and then came on voice mail.

"Alice, I'm getting worried. It's been seven hours," I looked at my watch, "and twenty four minutes. How is it going? Please, call back."

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett entered as soon as I hung up and all eyes ended on Bella. Esme seemed devastated. The others' expression didn't betray anything but they were all as devastated as Esme.

"How is she holding up?" Carlisle asked me.

"As long as she's asleep she's alright, but I don't know how she will react once she wakes up."

"What about Alice?" Rosalie asked.

"I have been calling her several times during the past couple hours but I get her voice mail. Maybe she's just trying to convince Jacob to come back," I said.

"This could be dangerous," Carlisle said quietly, looking at me.

"I know. Now that you are here, I can go after them. I'll follow their scent and see where it leads."

"Alright," Carlisle nodded. "But be careful."

I didn't respond and headed for the door. I began to run, following Alice's scent, not caring if Jacob's were along with it. At this moment my priority was of finding Alice and making sure she was alright, but I was at the same time preparing myself to the eventuality that it might be too late.

EsPOV

As my eyes took in Bella's form lying on the bed, practically curled into a ball, I felt that if my heart hadn't already stopped beating, it would stop now. I did not need Jasper's gift to see that she was in pain, that the sleep only kept a façade over her misery and that very soon this façade would be broken. I had no idea what I expected to feel but it was certainly not this atrocious pain in my chest, the feeling that it was it was impossible to breathe. Not breathing is extremely uncomfortable for me and I felt my knees weaken, at the same time as my head seemed to get heavier. This was one of the times I cursed the vampire's mind, so broad and able to contain millions of thoughts at the same time. I could even picture what happened. Bella telling her boyfriend about the kiss she shared with Edward, Jacob getting angry and morphing before running away. It was all to clear in my head.

What surprised me beyond measure was that Bella did not have the least injury on her. I had done some research, and usually being so close to a werewolf- a young werewolf especially- when it phased, brought by numerous and sometimes mortal injuries. The least that could happen to someone was to be scarred for life.

I had always been very protective of my children and I think it came with the loss of my first child. After I was changed by Carlisle I had devoted my time to each of our adopted children. Bella had become part of the family as soon as Edward presented her to us. This was why I had done some research on the Quileute tribe. I heard there was a werewolf who had injured his imprint by morphing in front of her. I didn't see the girl but I could guess in what state she was. If a werewolf could injure his imprint, then what chance of staying alive did Bella stand? Anyone who knew me could tell that I was for true love, but this love that Bella and Jacob were living was dangerous, and sooner or later something really bad would happen.

Imprinting was a phenomenon that intrigued Carlisle, even though I did not like to discuss the subject. He had explained it to me in detail, and from beginning to end, I couldn't stop thinking that it was a bad thing. He said it was to provide the werewolves with their best possible mate, the one who could assure that the lineage of werewolves didn't go extinct. To me, it meant forcing someone to love someone else; the wolf didn't have a choice.

"What do you think is going to happen?" I whispered to Carlisle. He looked my way with the same worried expression he had been wearing for hours.

"I don't know, but I know what I _don't _want to happen. I don't want this to end in a fight between vampires and werewolves. Not only do they exist so as to kill us, but they outnumber us," He glanced at Rosalie and Emmett before continuing. "And you heard the children: they won't fight with us."

"You have to understand them. What Edward did was wrong," I said, trying to justify our children's decision.

"I do understand, Esme," He said softly. "What I fear is that the werewolves can break the treaty at any time; they have nothing to fear."

We feel silent as everyone began to think of a way out. There seemed to be none. It was starting to darken outside when Bella's breathing quickened a little and I knew she was about to wake up. I went to sit down on the bed next to her as her eyes fluttered open.

"Esme?" She said in a small voice.

"Yes, sweetheart, it's me," I replied, taking her hand. She was silent for a brief moment. Remembering the day's event, surely. I prepared myself for what would probably follow but her expression changed only a little; saddened a little, but other that that, she stayed the same. A single tear ran down her cheek and I was about to lift my hand to brush it off, but decided against it almost instantly. She didn't seem to be aware of it either.

"Where's Jasper?" She asked, looking at me once more and getting in a sitting position.

"He has gone to find Alice," Carlisle replied. Before I could even process what was happening, Bella's expression became devastated and she gasped.

"Alice isn't here yet?" She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "I slept the whole day? You could have woken me up. If something happens to her, I won't ever forgive myself."

"Calm down, Bella. Nothing is going to happen to Alice. She will be fine," I said.

"I should never have told her to go. I had no right," Bella whispered, before turning to my husband. "Carlisle, can you call her?"

Carlisle shook his head. "We've tried."

Bella fell silent after that and didn't speak again. Sometimes her heartbeat would quicken and I smelled adrenaline which could only mean one thing: fear. Then her heartbeat would slow down again and she would shake her head slightly. A movement only a vampire could detect.

As the time passed I could feel everyone getting more and more tensed, especially Bella. She kept glancing at the clock and every time the wind blew outside, her head would snap towards the window, expecting someone to jump in any moment. It was sad to watch, particularly when we were all in the same state as her, with just a little more patience. Emmett didn't speak, didn't crack a joke. Usually he was the one who lightened the atmosphere but today he seemed to be lost in thought.

I heard a phone vibrate and saw Carlisle dig in his front pocket, take out his mobile phone and answer. Bella pulled herself in a sitting position as soon as she saw Carlisle take out his phone.

"Hello?"

"Carlisle, it's me. I'm with Jasper. We're coming." Alice. I sighed in relief.

"What about Jacob?" Carlisle asked.

"I lost him. Tell Bella I'm coming."

"Alright. I'll tell her."

"What happened?" Bella asked as soon as they hung up.

"They didn't find him. I'm sorry Bella," Carlisle said.

"Are Alice and Jasper alright?"

"Yes. They should be here shortly."

Bella closed her eyes but she couldn't stop the tears from falling. I went to comfort her but she held up one hand.

"I'm alright," She said, before lying down on the bed once more. I went to sit back on the floor and Carlisle hugged me.

"Give her some time, darling. She needs it."I nodded and he kissed my cheek. Five whole minutes passed before I began to smell Alice's and Jasper's scent. Everyone in the room looked at each other before Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett ran outside, while I went to Bella.

"Bella?"

"Yes, Esme?" She asked, looking at me.

"They are here."

She scurried out of bed and headed for the door, mumbling a thank you. I followed her outside to join Alice and Jasper. I immediately went to hug them and thanked God for bringing them back safely.

"It's good to see you," Carlisle said to them. Alice went to see Bella, who had been silent, and hugged her.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I heard her whisper, and uncontrollable sobs seemed to rock Bella's body as she held on Alice.

"We're going home now. We'll talk later," I said. Carlisle nodded. Rosalie and Emmett followed us and the four of us began to run towards our house, leaving Bella and Alice to some private moments.

BPOV

I held tightly on Alice as my body began to shake and my tears fell freely, without any restraint. Half of me was relieved that Alice had come back home safely, but another part of me was devastated due to the news of Jacob not being found. The guilt I had been feeling due to my selfishness had been replaced by a devastating feeling of dread that told me Jacob might not come back at all. I had caused him such pain and frustration all throughout our relationship, and he had always been patient and comprehensible with me. What if he this was the last straw? What if he decided that he had suffered enough and that he would be better off on his own? But I couldn't allow myself to think that. He would come back. Surely, he knew that I needed him to function. That I needed him to survive? He was my whole existence and if I didn't have him I had nothing. I had some friends here and there but they all revolved around _him. _I was nothing without Jacob.

I vaguely heard Esme talking about leaving and the next thing I knew, I was lying on my bed and Alice was beside me.

"I'm sorry I lost him, Bella," Alice said. My head snapped up.

"You_ lost_ him? Does that mean you saw him? Alice, what happened?" my voice seemed to be rising with each word and I had to appear hysterical but I didn't care. Alice shook her head slightly and with each passing second, the pain in my chest increased.

"I followed his scent; I was lucky because it was still strong. He is fast and it was almost night when his scent grew stronger. That could only mean one thing: that he was near. I tried to be as quiet as I could but of course he smelled me. He began to run and I ran behind him, but... he's faster than me. Werewolves are faster than vampires and he took advantage of that. I'm sorry, Bella. I'm really, really sorry."

I didn't know what upset me the most: the fact that Alice didn't find him, or the fact that he was angry enough to run away from her, preferring to spend his day alone rather than with me.

"It's not your fault, Alice; I should never have told you to follow him in the first place, but I was so desperate. He is my life, Alice, and I just let him go. No," I disagreed. "I didn't just let him go, I pushed him away. I'm the one to blame."

"Edward has been wrong to ask your for such a thing, Bella. You are not the one to blame," Alice said. I almost gagged. I got out of bed and began to pace. "Bella, stop, please." I stopped and looked at her.

"I'm stupid! I can't believe that once again I've ruined my change of being happy. I always thought that the myths were escaping me, but _I _am the one who are pushing them away," Alice looked on the point of saying something but I knew I had to get it all out before I exploded. "Alice, no, listen to me. You are blaming Edward because he should have known, etc., etc., but you are being unjust here. You are not being fair. You are not blaming me because I am human, but let me tell you one thing: I am not week. I've lived through too many things to still have the excuse of being human. I don't deserve this excuse anymore. I should have known.

I know why you're saying it's not my fault. Because you think Edward is iresistible and that I didn't stand a chance. You are taking in consideration the fact that once I had loved him and that I would have done anything for him, but... it's not like that anymore. I love Jacob. I do, Alice. Edward is not irresistible; I did not kiss him because I still love him or because he dazzled me or I-don't-know-what. I've moved on, Alice, and he needed to be able to move on too. _That_ is why I kissed him.

I came up with the stupid idea that if I kissed him one last time, he would be able to let go. And guess what? It worked! In my opinion, anyway. So, Alice, you can say anything you want, I will still believe that I had the choice. I could choose to kiss him and I could choose not to kiss him. I chose the first one because of an absurd reason my mind made up." I sat down on my bed once more and sighed.

"You don't have to make me feel better," I whispered. Alice looked at me for a moment, and then hugged me. I did not cry this time, not because I was done crying, but because I felt calm. A strange calmness enveloped me as soon as Alice had wrapped her arms around me, and I had to glance at the window to make sure Jasper wasn't near. He wasn't. The wind was blowing lightly outside, and the curtains were dangling slowly back and forth. The moon was visible that night. Beautiful, full and clear.

"What is it?" Alice asked me, sensing that my thoughts had drifted.

"Nothing," I replied, still hugging her. "It's nothing."

We stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a long moment. I was suddenly grateful that Alice was there; that I had got my best friend back so that I did not have to face this tragedy alone. But then, of course, if the Cullens had not come back, none of this would be happening right now. I would never have kissed Edward and Jacob would not have left. Nevertheless, it was my meeting with Jasper that had caused Edward to come back, as I had learned afterwards; and my meeting with Jasper on that day had been a coincidence.

If I had not had this fight with Charlie and had not come in front of the Cullens' house that day, I would not have met Jasper and I would still be oblivious to all the truth I had learned during the days spent with them. Or was it fate that had brought me in front of their house the same day Jasper chose to come back for a little visit to Forks? Was what I was living right now destined to happen, whatever decision I took?

It was excruciatingly painful to think that I was pre-destined to lose Jacob, and that nothing I would do would bring him back if fate decided otherwise. I was suddenly frustrated with the fact that Jacob hadn't imprinted one me, because if he had, then he would have been back by now, due to his inability to stay away from me for long; or maybe he wouldn't even have left in the first place. I didn't let my thoughts drift towards these dangerous and painful paths, though... or I knew I would regret it.

My throat was beginning to contract when Alice pulled back.

"Charlie is going to be here in two minutes," She said. "I know you don't want to have to explain, so I'm just going to leave. I'll see you later, Bella." I thought about that for a moment and I stopped her just before she climbed out of the window.

"No, wait! Stay, please. I would have had to explain sooner or later." I pleaded her with my eyes. She turned around and looked at me for a slight moment before nodding.

"Alright, but I'm just going to go home for a while so that you can talk to him."

"Yes," I said. "Thank you, Alice." She smiled once more before disappearing through the window. It wasn't long before Charlie's cruiser made its appearance in the driveway, and I quickly went into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror and gazed at my reflection. I was not shocked by what I saw. My eyes looked empty and dead, my skin was paler than usual and my hair looked like a haysack. Deciding I would have to face Charlie, I took my comb and hastily made my hair look at least a minimum presentable, before I went downstairs.

"Hi, dad." He turned around to look at me.

"Hi, Bella. How was your day?"

"Fine," I replied. From where he was he couldn't see my face because of the lack of light; but he must have caught something from my tone because he took slow, careful steps towards me. I could have blurted out an excuse to go upstairs again but I simply stared as he approached me. He was about a foot from me when he squinted his eyes to see better, before his eyes widened and he gasped almost too softly for me to hear.

I did not need to ask what my expression was reminding him of. He did not say anything and the silence dragged on as his expression became more and more pained. After I had become sure he wouldn't utter a word, he spoke.

"What happened to you?" I decided to be honest with him, as much as I could.

"I... I had a fight with... Jacob," I stuttered.

"Oh." One word, one single word that explained his incomprehension. Since when did I fight with Jacob? I had absolutely no idea.

"Is it... serious?" Charlie asked cautiously. _Yes, pretty much, I_ thought.

"I don't know," I replied. I walked past him and went to sit on the couch because the conversation did not stop there. There were a lot of things I had to say, things that Charlie would not appreciate but that had to be said. Charlie followed me. We were silent for a brief moment but then he looked at me once more.

"I'm sure you two will come around," He said gently. "You always do." I was so touched by his words that I nearly began to cry again.

"Thank you, Ch-dad," I said. He nodded and looked away, turning the TV on.

I was suddenly grateful that I was living with Charlie and not with mom at this moment. The difference between them was that Charlie didn't hover while mom would have wanted all the details of my fight with Jacob. She would have wanted to help me find a solution but this was not what I needed. To be ale to solve things, for me to be able to explain to Jacob the reason that had made me take the decision to kiss Edward, Jacob himself needed to be found.

I looked at Charlie, trying to find a way to start the conversation about Alice; he must have sensed my gaze on him because he glanced at me curiously.

"Do you want to watch a movie together?" He asked, gesturing to the TV.

I laughed softly. Did he really think that I wanted to drown my sadness by watching a movie with him and talking about how guys were useless? I could bet from his expression that he was close to proposing me some ice cream. Charlie began to laugh as well at the absurdity of all this.

"I met Alice today," I said after a few seconds.

"Alice Cullen?" He asked, surprised.

"Yes. She was passing by and she came to see me."

His face broke into a grin. "Haven't seen her in months! Did she already leave?"

I shook my head. "No, she's gone to see some friends and she'll be back later," I hesitated. "That's what I wanted to talk about. She wanted to know if she can sleep here for tonight."

"Of course she can! I'm impatient to see her again."Then his expression changed and he looked at me in alarm. "Are the other Cullens here as well?"

"No!"I answered quickly but then I remembered that I had to tell Charlie that I was going to keep contact with the Cullens in case he saw one of them. "Well, only Alice is here at this moment but I've considered keeping contact with them. They left too quickly and we..."

Charlie rose from his seat. "Keeping contact with _him_? After what he did to you?" Charlie cried and there was no need to ask whom he was referring to. "Is that why you fought with Jacob? Because you wanted to continue seeing Edward? Do you plan on going out with him again?"

"Dad, no!"

"I won't let that happen, Bella!"He cried, his face red with anger. The vein on his forehead throbbed and I feared that it might pop out any minute. I sighed. I knew Charlie could react excessively sometimes and I made sure to remain calm.

"Let me explain," I said calmly. He glared at me for a moment, then nodded, the warning never leaving his face, reminding me that the moment I slipped and made a mistake, he would explode. "I'm not going out wit Edward and I don't plan to. I am happy with Jacob. Secondly, I don't want to lose contact with the Cullens, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I will see them everyday. They might visit from time to time, but I still don't know how that's going to work out... especially right now," I added quietly, and quickly launched into another sentence to prevent him from commenting. "And thirdly, Charlie, you don't need to get angry every time a subject you don't like is brought up. Why don't you just... trust me?"

His expression softened considerably and he sat down once more. "I know; I'm sorry, Bella. I trust you, of course I do," He took my left hand. "It's just that you've been hurting too bad for too much time and you seemed to get better with Jacob. Now you're telling me that you fought with Jacob and that Cullen guy comes back once more... what am I supposed to think?"

I squeezed his hand and smiled. "Nothing is going to change, Dad. I promise I won't let anything change."

**Okay, guys, here's the news. I have something important to tell you. I know it's not really nice to do this now that the story is fastly becoming very interesting and all but I have to do it for the sake of my studies. I am going to take a break. A long break. I have realized that I was privileging my writing at the expense of school, and I can't continue like that. This school year is one of the two most important years of school in my country, and it surprises me that I had not taken this decision before. If I fail because of my writing, I don't think I will view writing the same anymore and since writing is my passion, I don't want this to happen. So I am going to stop writing for a while. A long while, I might add. Till November. If I had continued then I would have posted one chapter every 3 months and you would have received, let's say, 3 chapters since November. It's not really worth it. I prefer waiting for November and then post a chapter every two weeks. I really hope you understand. It's killing me as well. This story is my baby. I'm so sorry, but I have to do it. **

**I didn't want to tell you this at the beginning of the chapter because I wanted you to appreciate this chapter, without having my decision bothering you. Thank you for your comprehension, guys.** **And yes, I almost forgot. One of my friends is currently starting to write stories and her plot is really good. Go check her stories. It's well worth your time. Her nickname is Twilighter412. ** **P.S- Healing Bella is my favourite. ** **Thank you once more for everything, and I love you, guys!**


	25. Illusion

**Hello :D **

**So yeah, I know it's been long. 8 months to be exact. Lol. My exams went by really well so it was really a good decision to stop writing for a while. Now I'm back on track and I'm ready to get the chapters coming :D **

**I had announced some chapters ago that the story is nearly finished, and well, it's really coming to its end. I still can't believe I've been able to write such a long story! It was supposed to be only about a 10-chapter story, but ah well. I loved it. I hope you have been enjoying this as much as I have and well, just so as to make up for the absence, I waited to finish two chapters before posting anything. I hope you guys like the surprise. And I hope you loved New Moon! What did you think of it? You can leave a review or message me to tell me about it! **

**I have no idea if most of my readers will still be reading this story, or if you even _remember _ what it's about. Anyway, I hope it hasn't been that long and that you'll still be reading. Thanks !**

**Well yes, I know the Author's note is long, but come on, guys, it's been 8 months! You can just skip it, if you want. (though that would not be very nice. Just kidding :D)**

**I dedicate these two chapters to every single person who has ever read a least a line of my story. It's dedicated especially to LilAnnie123, who had sent me an email beginning November, innocently asking if she was right in saying I would be updating some time this month. It's nice to know I have a reader who tracks me down, asking about a story who was last updated 7 months ago. Thank you so much! You are really of a great encouragment : )**

It was difficult to focus. I tried very hard not to think. About anything, for that matter; because everything centered around the only one who was supposed to be here and who wasn't. The only one I couldn't live without. Jacob. As the time passed, my heart grew impossibly tighter and I began to feel desperate. What if he didn't come back? How would I be able to go on without him? It would have felt easier had we been drifting apart for a moment, but we were close. The closest two people could be. And I couldn't think of any possible future without him.

He was my life. I never knew when this change occurred: when his simple existence on this planet was the reason of mine, but it didn't matter because it was how it was and I doubted anything could change that.

I was lying on my bed with my earphones on so as to think as less as possible but this intricate system of mine was not working. Thoughts of Jacob pierced through the earphones and made their way through the music, without the permission of my brain. I knew that if I stayed like this for too much time, my body would find a way to escape the pain. And the only escape possible was to find refuge in my mind, as I did everytime my body couldn't bear the pain that was being inflicted upon it. It had happened not so long ago with Victoria, and very long ago when Edward left. It was frightening to know that I escaped reality by taking refuge in my mind but it was at the same time a relief to know that I had _somewhere_ to go when the pain became unbearable; and to know that I was safe there. Not even Edward could enter this private and peaceful land.

Maybe Alice saw that would happen soon or maybe it was just pure luck, but she arrived at the same moment. I heard a knock on the door and I knew it was her. Without wasting time, I walked down the stairs to greet her and I saw Charlie opening the door. I was still halfway up the stairs and I stopped, letting Charlie have his proper greeting. It was a long time since they've last seen each other and they had always been rather close. I decided to go back up again, even though I stayed in front of my door, listening carefully.

"Alice!" He cried. His face broke into a smile and I saw Alice begin to jump up and down.

"Hello, Charlie! I've missed you so much," She said before wrapping her small arms around him. He looked flustered for a moment before hugging her back. I looked away, not wanting to "m'imisser" in such a moment of intimacy, but very soon I heard my name being called.

"Bella!" Charlie called excitedly, " Come see who has arrived!" A smile broke upon my face and I quickly walked down the stairs.

Hi again, Alice," I said.

"Join us for dinner," Charlie proposed. "We haven't eated yet." I froze, even though I should have known Alice was able to get herself out of any situation.

"Oh no," She laughed. "I've already eaten. I was out to see some friends and we went out for an early dinner."

"Alright then. We can still talk while eating."

"Who taught me not to talk with my mouth full?" I joked, looking at Charlie.

"We can make an exception for this once," He winked. We all laughed at this one and settled down around the table. We ate dinner, Charlie and I, while listening to the never-ending tales of Alice's days in her school in Alaska, her sadistic teachers who overwhelmed them with unnecessary courseworks, the over-bearing negativity of her family when she proposed a new idea of hers, and the boy who was totally in love with her and who followed her everywhere, even after she made it pretty clear that she was going out with Jasper; he did not follow her in a creepy way, no, but in a very cute way, that she emphasized on. I was very pleased by the fact that Charlie's expression remained unchanged at the mention of Edward's name. It was a relief to notice that he was finally sure of the future of Jacob's and my relationship.

We laughed and laughed but I kept thinking of Jacob all throughout the evening. I couldn't help missing him; I couldn't help that tug at my heart everytime I thought of the possibility of us not being together again. He had every right to be furious, even though I knew the Cullens may probably be thinking that he made a big deal of everything; but I knew him and I understood his behaviour. I knew of his fears and yet I still acted that way. Now my only hope was that he would come back soon so that I could try to explain to him the reasons- or should I say _reason_ ?- of my act.

As I went to bed that night, I felt lighter, having throughly thought of what I would say to him. I had thought Alice would sleep in my bed but she insisted that she would be fine with a sleeping bag. Of course she woudn't really be sleeping but Charlie would have to think she was, so I put an extra sleeping bag and lay right next to her. We talked a little and soon I began to feel sleepy, the exhaustion of the day finally wearing on me.

That night I dreamed of Jacob.

_He phased right in front of me, his clothes bursting into shreds around the room. I was suddenly more terrified than I had ever been in all my life. Even at his angriest, Jacob had never phased in front of me, apart from the day he had taken me to La Push to meet the pack for the first time, but even then his anger had not been directed towards me. I looked at the enormous wolf on the other side of the room and tried to recognize my Jacob in it, but even as I looked into its eyes, I couldn't see the familiar sparkle he always had when I was in the same room as him. I could only see the reflection of a stranger._

_A tear escaped my eyes as the wolf took a step towards me._

_I closed my eyes, trying to force back the tears I knew was coming. I didn't want him to see me cry; this was something I had tried to prevent throughout all my relationship with him. Maybe I didn't want Jacob to think that I was weak, or maybe I was just plain crazy, but I had tried my best to show him the bright side of me, without the broken parts. His love for me had mended back those broken parts, and at least now I didn't find myself crying in the middle of the night for no reason at all... or maybe there was a reason, but I was the only one who could see it. Jacob was the one I couldn't live without, and I knew at this instant that, even if I were to die at this very moment, I would not regret my decision in the least. Jacob was the one I loved. _

_I don't know when I opened my eyes, I don't know why I even did, I don't know what caused what happened afterwards to happen, but nothing mattered at all. Maybe Jacob noticed the tears in my eyes and realized how truly scared I was, but a terrible sound of pain and despair came ripping through his chest, and in a mere second the rusty coloured wolf had dissapeared, and there stood my Jacob, staring at me with such intensity, with so much pain in his eyes, that all I wanted was to take him in my arms and to tell him everything was going to be alright._

"_Jacob, I'm sorry," I said quickly as more tears escaped my eyes, "I'm so sorry I kissed him. You're the one I love. The only one; please know that."_

"_I know that," his said, his voice breaking at the last moment. He was facing me, but his eyes were focussed elsewhere... on the lamp, on the bed, on the door... anywhere but me. "I just don't want to lose you to him, or anyone for that matter," he continued, flinching as if something had cut him as he said 'him'. "Maybe this is just one of my irrational fears... but it's present all the time... the fear that you'll realize I'm not good enough... before going back to him." He paused several times during this sentence, and I realized how sincere his words were, how much he really thought I might change my mind, when in fact, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind._

_I moved closer to him and put a hand on the side of his face, looking him directly in the eye. I was trying so hard to make him understand what I felt and what I wanted him to know, but without words. Words couldn't describe what I felt towards him and how sure I was of myself. His eyes held mine for what felt like an eternity but I never looked away. I never gave in. After some time, after I was practically losing the hope of him ever trusting me again with his heart, giving me the power to break him but trusting him enough not to, I whispered fiercely: "That's not going to happen." _

_I never knew if he understood I was replying to the concerns he had voiced earlier, or if he thought I was just expressing what I felt at this moment, but suddenly his mouth was on mine and my body errupted in fire. I felt a sensation I had never felt before: so deep and passionate... It was as if we hadn't had such a intimate moment for months. I closed my eyes so as to let myself feel more. His lips on mine were anything but gentle, practically bruising my lips but I couldn't care less. His hands travelled down my neck to my shoulders, and grazed my breasts, causing a gasp to escape my lips. His tongue forced my lips to part and I almost gasped again as his tongue touched mine... grazing, caressing, sucking … _

_My hands travelled up and down his chest and I wanted my lips exactly where my hands were at this moment but I doubted his lips would leave mine. My hands went lower and it was only when I didn't feel any cloth at all on his thigh that I realized he was naked, having burst out of his clothes only minutes earlier. I felt Jacob's teeth bite down on my lips just seconds before he pressed himself to me, causing a gasp of surprise from me, followed by a chorus of moans from both of us... or maybe it was just me?_

_My breath was ragged and I could feel my heart beating frantically against my chest, threatening to burst out any moment. His hands made their way up my body again and slipped under my shirt, his hot skin against my cold one sending a shiver down my spine and having the effect of making me press myself more against him, though I doubted I could be closer to him than I already was. _

_His fingers caressed the soft skin above my bra before slipping behind my back. His kisses were becoming more urgent and his mouth left mine and came down on my neck, kissing me like only he knew. _

_He unclasped my bra and after taking it off, threw it across the room, without taking his lips off me._

_Jacob's left hand travelled down my right leg and hitched it around his waist, before doing the same with the other leg. Almost immediately, we were moving. He deposited me on the bed, my legs still around his waist and looked at me with the most beautiful expression on his face: that of love._

"_I want you," He said, his breathing so uneven that I had to concentrate to hear his words. "I want you so bad, Bella." His eyes were so desperate and held so much want... _

"_Then take me," I said confidently. Jacob smiled victoriously before taking off my pants and panties, and throwing them on the floor. Then he took off my shirt and as I lay there , naked in front of him, he pushed a strand of my hair out of my face before bending down to kiss my mouth gently, and pushed himself hard inside of me. The gasp that escaped my lips echoed in the silent room, apart from the love that could be felt as well as heard..._

I woke up suddenly, sweating and breathing hard. I looked beside me and but didn't see Alice. Maybe she had gone for a walk. I closed my eyes again and concentrated on making my breathing more even.

It seemed like my subconcious had made up the scene when Jacob phased in my room exactly as I wanted it to happen. Some time ago I would have blushed from remembering the dream and from the embarassment. Since when I did dream of sex? But I couldn't imagine blushing because of the sensation of despair that washed over me again as I thought of how lost I was without Jacob. If my safe harbour was gone, where could I rest myself?

"Bella, is everything alright?" I heard Alice's voice coming from behind. I looked over to see her in the rocking chair, a book in hand.

"Um... yes," I blushed. "I was just dreaming."

"Oh alright," Alice nodded. "You can go back to sleep. It's early." There was a silence as Alice went back to her reading. I stayed as I was, wondering whether I could have been talking in my sleep. It would be so embarassing! I couldn't resist asking her.  
"Alice?" I called. She looked up. "Have I been talking in my sleep?" Her expression remained unchanged.

"You just mumbled 'Jacob' a few times. That's all. Why?"

I shook my head. "No, just like that," I said, lying back down. If she had any doubt about the dream or even if she _knew,_ she hid it well. Thank God it wasn't Emmett who was staying over. I would never have lived it down.

That night I lay down on the sleeping bag, thinking and re-thinking about 3 things only: Love, imprinting and destiny.

Try as hard as I did, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was going to happen. I didn't know exactly what or when but I knew it was something that would change our lives, both Jacob's and mine.

After I had used up all the energy left in my body on those self-destructive thoughts, I fell asleep but I didn't dream of Jacob again. I was saddened by this fact because even though it was only a dream, it had provided me some time with Jacob, some time to escape reality and the current situation.

I woke up to see Alice staring at me with the weirdest expression on her flawless face.

"Hmm... what?" I asked curiously. She smiled then and shook her head.

"Nothing at all. I was just thinking of the shades that would go with your skin." Uh-oh.

"You mean... make-up?" I asked cautiously.

"Of course, silly Bella!" She said as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. "I think we should go shopping today."

"No, Alice, my wardrobe is full enough."

"Yeah but you look like a zombie."

"New clothes aren't going to change that, Alice..." I replied softly, my mind once more drifting to Jacob and the dream of last night. There was a small moment of silence before Alice spoke again, and in her voice was the tone of understanding, compassion and certainty.

"He'll come back."

"I'm not so sure," I replied, because in fact I couldn't think of any reason at all as to why he would come back. Of course he loved me and he knew I loved him, but I had betrayed him and given in to his worst fears. I didn't even deserve the right to demand that he come back.

"He will," Alice was saying. "Just give him some time." At that time, I wanted nothing more than to believe her, but I couldn't let myself hope. I couldn't let myself be crushed at the last moment by the glimmer of hope that would have made its way through my heart.

I sighed. "I wonder what he's thinking right now..."

_Far, far away..._

JPOV

I could still see Bella's face as I ran out of the house in my wolf form: terrified. I couldn't do anything about that, though. I hadn't been able to control my anger. Even so, the pain I had felt at this moment was ten times stronger than my anger, and my anger had been strong enough for me to phase in front of Bella...

I shuddered at the thought.

There was this hole in my chest, ripping me apart, tearing at my flesh. I couldn't even _breathe. _I ran and ran. Didn't stop; couldn't stop.

I had tried to swerve every little bump in the road. I had tried to hard for us to be okay, for me to be enough... but sometimes your best isn't enough. Mabye their love was just supposed to be. Maybe they were what was real, if there was anything real at all in this world.

How did this happen? How did it end this way? She had said I was the one she loved, the only one. That she'd gotten over him. Well, people are people and sometimes we change our mind; but it was killing me to see her go after all this time. I just knew I wouldn't be able to survive this; never before had I felt such pain, such desperation...

Maybe I had been stupid to believe our relationship would work out. Maybe I was stupid to believe we were soulamtes, that we fit each other perfectly. I didn't know what to be without her around. She was the only thing I knew like the back of my hand.

I knew that when one of Britney's songs began to play on the radio, her eyes would light up and she would begin to dance like crazy if there was no one around, and if there was someone present, her body would be moving slowly and her feet would be tapping on the floor, her shoes making that cute little noise.

I knew that when we would go out she would insist on eating pizza, that she drank her coffee with tons of sugar, that the talking at night would start after 2 a.m. Sometimes I would listen to her voice at night as she mumbled unintelligible words. Sometimes she would say my name and sometimes she would be arguing with Crystal in her sleep. It was not only funny to listen but also to watch as she furrowed her eyebrows and pursued her lips or even smiled. Once I'd even heard her laugh out loud. I had thought she was awake and had looked at her in surprise, asking her what was funny. She had smiled and mumbled: "Nothing; I love you," before curling on the side. She hadn't stopped telling me she loved me in her sleep then. That night I had lay awake on the bed and wondered how the hell I had gotten so lucky. I should have known the luck wouldn't last. No one gets to be so happy for so long.

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	26. Imprinting And Realization

I was in front of my house when I saw Emily standing in front of the door, probably searching for me.

"Hi Bella," She said. I forced a smile.

"Hi," I murmured awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say. What was I supposed to say after having causing Jacob, a member of her fiance's pack to run away? I had not gone to see any of them at La Push after Jacob's departure because of the guilt I permanently felt. What would they think of me? Did they consider me responsible of the situation we were in? I slapped myself internally. Of course they would consider me responsible, because I was. I couldn't find the courage to face them, even though I had once and still considered them as my family.

There was an awkward silence, in which neither of us knew what to say. We used to be rather close, Emily and I, but at that moment I had no idea what to tell her. It had been 2 days and I hadn't gone to see them.

"Bella, you probably think that we blame you for Jacob's running away, but this is not the case. It's your life and you do what you want with it. We are your friends, Bella, and do not think that you cannot still come to see us even if you changed your mind about being with Jacob. Of course I know it won't be like before and that you won't be coming as often, but still from time to time..."

As soon as she began to talk I realized she had gotten the wrong idea, but I couldn't stop her because I was surprised of the subtleness by which Emily had tried to make me understand her views: that they were okay with me changing my mind about Jacob and that I was still welcomed in her house, but that I shouldn't come too often because of course, Jacob would be there and she knew it would hurt him to see me after I had broke up with him.

I was surprised and pleased to notice that she still welcomed me and that at the same time she was thinkng of Jacob's well-being. I respected and appreciated her all the more for that.

"Thanks, Emily, but you got it wrong," I said. She looked surprised. "I love Jacob and I haven't changed my mind. And I'm waiting for him to come back to tell him that." She smiled proudly at my words, and shook her head jokingly.

"See? Sam and I told the guys that you couldn't have changed your mind but they wouldn't believe us."

"Sam?" I asked, surprised. How could _he_ be so sure of my love and fidelity to Jacob? Emily smiled again.

"Sam appreciates you more than you think, Bella."

I couldn't quite understand that but I asked no further questions. "Thank you, Emily."

She hugged me briefly before adding, "We are family."

That warmed my broken heart more than she would ever know.

* * *

I was preparing myself to go to La Push when I saw Leah outside the house through the window. I went down to see her, wondering whether she could be unaware of the fact that Emily had come to see me in the morning. This was highly unprobable but maybe she had been searching for Jacob along with the rest of the pack and had just passed back to see me.

"Hi."

"Bella," She said. There was a pause. "Hi."

"Hi," I said again, feeling instantly stupid. Of course I wasn't that close to Leah but I could usually hold a conversation with her, when Jacob was still here. This was why I considered myself incomplete without him: because every part of my life was centered around him and because when he wasn't here, it felt like some big part was missing and that nothing could function properly.

"Look, I have to talk to you," She said. Leah had always been very straight forward and this was something I liked about her.

"Come inside then," I said. We sat on the couch and I waited for her to begin.

"It's about Jacob," She announced. _Wow. Very surprising,_ I thought sarcastically. "Well, in fact, it's not really about him, more about you." I was suddenly confused but didn't voice my thoughts out loud. I waited for her to continue.

"I thought you had finally realized things," She said, confusing me even more. "But Emily just announced you weren't going back with the bloodsucker." She shook her head and I could tell she was trying to find her words. "I've never said anything before because you seemed really sure of yourself and maybe because I wanted to believe it would work out too... but," She sighed. "Bella, you have to end things with Jacob right now."

My heart sped up and I got up from the couch at once.

"What?!" I cried. "Did you seriously come to my house to tell me to break up with my boyfriend? Who do you think you are?" Surprisingly, Leah didn't seem in the least affected by my outburst.

She rolled her eyes. "Bella, sit down."

I did as I was told but still glared at her, furious that she dared even SUGGEST such a thing. She was silent for a moment while I fumed inside. Her expression became suddenly very grave.

"You've heard of Imprinting, right?"

I froze. I was pretty sure my heart stopped beating at that moment. I was scared shitless and there was no use of my trying to hide it. I couldn't talk for some time, even forgot completely that I was even supposed to reply.

"Yes, I did," I said finally. There was a silence as I wondered why she saw it as appropriate to bring up that subject.

"Well, then I'm sure you know Jacob doesn't have any control over it. None of them do, anyway." I swear if I could have fainted at that moment, I probably would have. Did that mean that Jacob imprinted? It was very probable. He had gone God-knows-where and he must have met hundreds of new people on the way. An invisible knife plunged in my chest, ripping my flesh apart. He had promised me _hundreds of times_ that he wouldn't imprint. He'd stared at me and swore that he would never, ever imprint. The thought that he could be with her right now repulsed me to no end.

Everthing was swirling around me but I still managed to form the words that I had fiercely hoped I would never have to pronounce, because I knew that if I asked such a question, the answer was unlikely to please me.

"He imprinted?" I was shocked to see the difference between the emotions that were conveying my calmed voice and the shaking hands that I tried so hard to keep in place.

"No, but he will," Leah replied without missing a beat. I felt relief flooed down on me as well as anger towards Leah for bringing up my worst fear. I got up from the couh again and looked down to her.

"You're wrong," I said confidently, when I was just seconds ago doubting Jacob's word. What a hypocrite I was!

Leah got up as well, visibly annoyed. "I am right and you know it. If he doesn't imprint now, he will very soon. Don't. You. Ever. Doubt. This," She said fiercely.

"It's not because Sam imprinted on Emily and dumped you that Jacob is going to do the same with me," I said harshly. I instanty regretted it as she flinched at my words. I couldn't make myself appologize, though. I was way too furious for that. I knew I shouldn't be so self-centered, but if I had to be mean to someone who had never done anything to me just so as to prevent the doubt from creeping into my mind, then I would do it.

Leah quickly recovered from my traitor blow and spoke again.

"Dont hide from the truth because it will hurt even more when it happens."

"When _what_ happens?" I insisted furiously. I knew what she was talking about but I would deny it as much as I could, because in fact, the thought of Jacob imprinting was so atrocious, a reality that I didn't dare take knowledge of.

"When Jacob imprints," Leah said again and I could see that my reaction as well as my complete denial of a possible truth were frustrating her. I saw in her eyes that all she wanted at that moment was to take me by the shoulders and to shake me until I finally admitted that I was scared.

Something snapped in me when I realized how sincere she was and that his conversation with me- however awkwardly she expressed herself- was only driven by one motivation: that of preventing the same that happened to her to happen to me, of preventing me from breaking down the way she did.

Exhausted, I sat on the floor, curling my feet beneath me. "I love him," I said more to myself than to her in particular. "I love him with all my heart and I can't bear being away from him for so long. It's horrible not having him by my side, not being able to hold his hand. I used to think we had all the time on earth to be together; but I _know_," I said, looking up to meet her eyes, "I_ know _we probably won't be together forever. He is a werewolf, and werewolves imprint. I'm damn scared of this possibility. I'm damn scared every time he goes out of this room because I know there's a chance he imprints every time he sees someone new. I want to lock him in a room and never let him go out. I want him to remain _mine_," there was a strange taste in my mouth but I continued, "I love him, Leah. I really do. So if you think I'm gonna leave his life _now_ because I'm scared of losing him _someday,_ then you're wrong. I'm going to enjoy every day I can have with him until he imprints, if he really does. I'm not gonna risk everything because of something that might not even happen," I said fiercely.

Leah sighed softly and looked away, her eyes already elsewhere. For some minutes neither of us spoke, then Leah bent down and sat right next to me. In her eyes, I could see understanding, as well as resignation.

"You're right," She said finally. I didn't reply, for I didn't know whether I was right or not, but I knew that nothing would change my way of thinking.

"It hurt atrociously when he left. We were planning to marry too, you know? Everything was going fine and one day..." She paused, looking away. "One day he couldn't take his eyes off my cousin. I don't want this to happen to anyone; especially not to you, Bella."

I turned to look at her but she was already getting up. I did the same. I was not very good with feelings and I knew she wasn't either. So we just stood there, looking at each other, neither one really knowing what to do or say; but for once, in her eyes I could see more than the bitterness. I could see everything she was feeling and I was taken aback by the pain and sincerity I saw there.

Some time passed before I spoke again.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "For what I said about Sam. It was stupid."

"It's okay," Leah nodded, dismissing the subject. She tried to make it seem like she was over it, but _I_ knew that she would never be entirely over it. No one ever totally recovered from such a blow, like I knew I would never totally forget the pain I felt when Edward left, the desperation... but I had Jacob now and one day Leah would be able to love someone else like I loved Jacob and looking back, what happened with Sam would not hurt, and may even seem insignificant, because it was the future that mattered, and not the past. We can only live our life by looking towards the future, yet, we only understand it by looking back.

It was not settling for second best, but being able to enjoy something different, our vision not being as clouded as it was, being able to truly enjoy something we never knew existed, something so extraordinary it took our breath away to wonder how we could _not_ have seen it before. Something that, deep down, we knew was meant to be.

JPOV

"How is Bella?" I asked Alice as she came to sit on my lap, after having had a long talk with Edward on the current situation. I hadn't had the time to talk to her after she came back from Bella's place because she had gone straight to see Edward.

"She is fine. She is going out in some minutes," She replied. I immediately understood that she was talking about a vision she had had; if after all this time I said I didn't know her, then it would be the worst kind of blasphemy.

I hugged her tight as she burried her face in the crook of my neck. The sensation I always had when she was in my arms enveloped me and I could have stayed like that forever; and I was one of the few lucky persons who could do just that.

"I love you," She said, lifting her face just enough to look at me. I had in my arms the most perfect, the most beautiful and amazing person that had ever walked this earth, and she loved me.

"I love you too," I said, before bending down to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered close immediately and I mirrored her gesture, savoring each moment I got to spend with her. She rested her head on my hest as we pulled back.

"Edward said he's sorry for everything that happened," She said quietly. "But it helped him to move on, so I guess that's alright." I could hear the tremor in her voice, and it was not only because Edward had hurt Alice's bestfriend, but because she had told him not to go La Push, not to do what he intended to. I was the only one who knew how deeply she had been hurt that he would risk their relationship in such a way, how truly pained she was. I sincerely hoped that Edward had been able to read her mind to know everything she was feeling, because it was only in this way that he would be able to measure the consequences of his acts. I could feel he was truly sorry for what he did, but he had hurt Alice, and it was something that he would have to repair.

I wondered about the reasons of all this, I wondered if all that was happening had in fact a well-defined purpose that we weren't aware of. Was this the beginning of something? Or just the end?

BPOV

After my talk with Leah, I no longer wanted to go to La Push, didn't have the strength to move at all. The phone rang just beside me and I turned my head slowly to stare at it, debating on whether answering it or not. I finally walked over and answered.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Good to to hear your voice. I'm sorry, I've been busy lately and hadn't had the time to call you. You could have called!" She sighed. "Well, we're going out to eat; a girl's night out, so grab your things and whatever the hell you _always_ have to do before you leave your oh, so precious house. I'm coming over in fifteen minutes."

I smiled widely. Crystal.

"Alright, but be quick. Fifteen minutes later and I may no longer be here," I joked.

"Oh yeah?" She asked lightly and I could totally sense the threatening tone coming.

"I'll kick your ass!" I was laughing as I hung up.

"Of course," I said to myself.

Soon enough Crystal and Angela were in the driveway and I joined them. I knew they would probably ask me about Edward so I practiced what I would say to them in my head. The drive was pretty amusing, with Crystal cracking jokes all the way, leaving the three of us breathless by the time we reached the restaurant. It was a restaurant we usually went to, one that I felt comfortable in, not one of those fancy and strikingly luxurious restaurants that had that "je ne sais quoi" which made pretty much anyone uncomfortable and have the feeling that they were somehow out of place.

I was still thinking about that restaurant- yes, I know I was crazy at that time – when our foods were served to us.

"So what have you been so busy with?" I asked Crystal sometime later.

"Mom got loads of work brought home, so I helped her so that she would finish quicker," She explained. "What about you?" I was about to reply 'nothing much' when her eyes lit up the way they always did when she remembered something.

"What was Edward Cullen doing at Emily's the other day? I thought he moved to some sunny place almost 2 years ago..."

I glanced at Angela and she looked just as confused as Crystal.

"Well, yeah he did. His family were visiting some people here and he just passed by to say hi," I told the lie I had made up earlier. I hated lying to them but there was just some things they couldn't know.

"You didn't look very surprised to see him," Crystal commented.

"I was," I said sincerely. "I was taken aback to see him appear at Emily's. I didn't know he was coming.

"Well," Angela said. "They were always pretty mysterious." And that closed the subject. I was glad about this fact; I didn't really want to hover on that matter. The evening passed by pleasantly well. We talked about random things and I felt much better. The girls were able to take my mind off the things that were eating me up.

Just before we left, I noticed something that made me decide to stay a little more. Two tables in front of us, there was a couple, a young girl and her boyfriend. The girl was flirting with the waiter and it was totally obvious that she was trying to make her boyfriend jealous. The latter seemed rather furious, and I was starting to feel bad for him, but my opinion soon changed some minutes later. The waiter came by their table again to ask if they were ready to order. The girl ordered something but her boyfriend placed his hand on hers and shook his head.

"No, you better eat the fish curry. That's what I'm taking," He said.

I was surprised to see the look his face, an expression that said: "You better do as I say." I was even more surprised to see the girlfriend grin and order what her boyfriend had practically forced her to, glad that she was receiving some attention from him.

She didn't seem to understand the situation they were in, she didn't seem to see that they were not loving each other, but trying to control each other, trying to make the other do or act in a certain way, to see things _their_ way. They were trying so hard to become _one_ and I was dumbfounded by my discovery: they would never ever become one, no matter how much they tried. Whether it was in love or in friendship, the two persons concerned had to stay true to themselves, would always continue to be two distinct persons instead of dissolving into one.

I watched the scene in front of me with fascinated eyes and realized that this was not at all what I wanted to become out of Jacob's and my relationship.

We did not try to make the other jealous or force him to do anything, but deep down, we were similar to the couple destroying themselves in front of my eyes. We wanted to belong to each other, our greatest fear being that of losing the one we loved to someone else. I took a deep breath and looked at the ring on my left hand. I couldn't possess him because of a law that I always knew existed but was never really aware of- or didn't want to : we can't possess people.

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	27. Exactly How It's Supposed To Be

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**This chapter is short not because I didn't know what to put or because I didn't have time, but because there's nothing more to be added. Only one chapter left after this. Sniff **

JPOV

I was sleeping and I didn't hear her, or I would have begun to run again, for I didn't want to see anyone right now. I wanted to be alone, to let some time pass, to live this pain by myself. I also felt some kind of relief as I saw her, because even though I hadn't wanted to be found, it felt incredibly good to see someone I knew, even though it wasn't someone I had so much in common with, and spent much time with apart from what was really necessary.

I woke up to see Leah sitting on the grass right beside me, her eyes fixed on me, afraid I would go off running again, but at the same time trusting me not to. We were in our wolf form and I was able to hear her thoughts.

_It's been long, _She thought.

_Yes, _I agreed, even though I had no idea how much time had really passed since I was last in La Push. It had seemed an eternity, but I was pretty sure it couldn't have been that much; maybe about 3 weeks or so. Leah frowned suddenly.

_It's been a week, Jake. Not three_.

I was shocked to say the least. Could it be true that only one week had passed since I last saw Bella? It didn't seem so at all. It seemed like I hadn't seen her face or kissed her lips in years. One week. Everything seemed irreal to me.

_I doubt she would have been able to bear so much time, _Leah thought.

_What do you mean?_

_The last time I saw her, she told me she had a lot to explain to you; that there was something she just understood and that it was important._

Go back to Forks so Bella could explain why she chose Edward over me? Why she changed her mind after so much time? No, thanks.

Leah was about to show me a conversation between her and Bella, but I phased back to my human form immediately. I didn't want to see that. I wasn't ready. I _really _wanted to know the 'why' of her decision, but I had no personal desire to hear her enumerate all the things he had that I didn't. He was perfect. I wasn't. I put on some shorts that were lying nearby.

Leah phased back as well and I diverted my eyes away from her. After some minutes I looked back at her and noticed she was fully clothed.

"Your reaction is excessive, Jacob," She said calmly. In a second I lost all my inhibitions; For the first time in my life I wanted to slap a girl. What the hell was excessive in my reaction? I had run away because I couldn't face the situation. Whether I was a coward or not concerned me, and only me. Bella didn't love me anymore-if she ever did in the first place-, so I thought I kind of had the right to react the way I was. I knew it was wrong to think this way. Bella loved me; she'd told me lots of times, and I _knew_ she did; but she didn't love me as much as she loved the bloodsucker. I had always known I didn't stand a chance against him, but when he came back and Bella still didn't seem to show any interest towards him, I became relieved. Maybe enough time had passed for her to be able to love me, and only me. I knew she would never completely get over him, but I thought she would be able to settle for me. For second best. But it seemed like she couldn't. I couldn't even blame her for that, but it sucked that I had gotten my hopes up, that everything was going so right when suddenly... without warning everything crashed down on me. Every minute was a toture, a pain that I didn't think I could overcome. But I did, surprisingly enough. I had absolutely no hope at all that the love of my life could still be mine, but something kept me going. I had no idea what.

"It's time you come back now. The pack needs you," Leah talked again.

"There are no vampires... apart the Cullens," I said, though I had absolutely no way of telling whether I was right or not. A lot could have happened in one week.

"Your friends need you," Leah changed her previous sentence. "Think of your dad. He's going crazy, worrying about you."

"I need some time," I said.

"You've had enough of that, if you want my opinion."

"No, I don't want your opinion. This is my life. Why do you even care? Huh, what am I saying? You don't."

"Maybe I don't really care about what you do or not, but if it hurts Bella, then yes, it becomes my business," She said suddenly. The atmosphere was hostile. We had never liked each other very much. She was a pain in the ass, and not one of the persons I would be spending my time with.

I almost laughed at what she said, but I didn't, for I had no real want to laugh, everything that was good in my life already taken away from me.

"You don't like Bella; you never did. So don't do the hypocrite and tell me you care about what she feels," I said, not really understanding why she was using such a poor excuse, and what she meant by 'hurting Bella'. Why was she hurt? Because she had hurt me? Because she had choosen the bloodsucker over me and hadn't had time to explain? What the hell. I didn't need explanation. The acts were enough. I was not a child who needed everything to be explained to him. I was big enough to understand that she had made her choice, and that even though it didn't please me, it was as it was, and probably nothing I would say or do would make her consider things again. It hurt atrociously to think about her, to think about the time we had spent together, and the way she had looked as she told me she'd kissed him. _She'd kissed him. _Her words kept going on and on in my head, like they were stuck there.

Although I was furious, the rage I felt was nothing compared to the pain that was cutting me to the core, and choking me until it was literally impossible for me to breathe. Everything seemed so irreal to me that I no longer had any notion of right or wrong. It hurt atrociously but it was less painful than when I was still in Forks. There the pain had been unbearable. I couldn't stay where they were, where _he_ was.

"I don't care what you think, Jake. I never did. Now get your ass back to Forks and go see her." Leah had always been straightforward and that was one of the things I absolutely didn't like in her, and I couldn't understand why she wasn't minding her own business. She never did this sort of thing usually.

Her tone changed suddenly, become softer. "Look, I know you have your pride, but put it back in the closet for this once, and go see her before it's too late and you lose her. You love her, so what's the deal?"

"What do you mean 'before I lose her'? I've already lost her in case you haven't noticed," I said, trying hard not to flinch as the knife shot into my flesh again. I had to make Leah go quickly before I broke down. I didn't want her to see my like this. I didn't want _anyone_ to see me like this.

Leah got up, visibly furious, though I had no idea why. "How can you be so _blind? _God, I can't believe you're so stupid!" She cried. I stared at her in shock and after some seconds her expression changed again, while I wondered briefly again whether she was bipolar. "Alright, we all thought the same thing, but it's_ your_ girlfriend, so you are supposed to know."

I was still staring at her in silence when she sighed. "What?"

"Could you please talk English?"

She rolled her eyes. "She didn't go back with the bloodsucker." I sighed at her pathetic attempt to make me go back to Forks.

"This is cruel, you know?" I retorted, absolutely forbidding myself to believe that there was a chance that what she was saying was true.

"You know very well I don't lie," Leah seemed hurt that I would doubt her word.

"I am not saying you're lying. I'm just saying this is another one of your sick jokes."

"God, it's not." We stayed in silence for what seemed like a lifetime, and I thought and re-thought about what she had said, and whether it could be true. I was still forbidding myself to hope. At the mere thought of not holding Bella in my arms ever again, I felt my heart tighten and my eyes sting. I so wanted to cry at that moment, to let out all I had been feeling for the past few days, and to finally let go.. but I couldn't. It was almost painful but I succeeded in forcing everything back.

"She loves you," Leah said softly, and I knew she was saying the truth. I knew Bella loved me. I had always known it, even before she realized it herself.

Leah left soon after, leaving me to ponder upon her words. I still could not understand anything. What had she tried to say? That Bella and Edward weren't together? How could this be? How could it be that Bella and I was still together, when she had told me herself she had kissed him, the look on her face when she had revealed that to me, the guilt... but most of all, when I knew she didn't regret it. I knew she didn't. There was no trace of regret upon her beautiful face, nothing at all.

My head was aching, so I tried to sleep but I couldn't stop these thoughts that were running through my mind at lightning speed. Everything was a blur, but I was able to grasp something, a thought that was as clear as water.

I was going back to Forks. I hadn't seen Bella in long. Far too long.

BPOV

Fascinated by my discovery, I waited exictedly for the moment Jacob would step through the door, because I may have realized that love didn't rhyme with possession but that didn't mean that I gave up my love for him. If I couldn't share my discovery with Jacob, I didn't want to share it at all because _he_ was the one I wanted to wake up next to, he was the one I wanted to hold on to, to... love.

I'd been trying to sleep but for some strange reason, I couldn't. I was so amazed by my discovery and so excited to share it with Jacob. I had no idea why, but I suddenly felt very calm. I knew he was coming back very soon, I knew everything was going to be alright. For once in my life, I had faith in the future.

I was slowly drifting to sleep when I heard a scratching sound near my window. My heart pounded in my chest. Could it be...?

My eyes flew open as I remembered I had left my window open. I sat up straight just in time to see Jacob enter. Relief flooded down on me in an instant and never before had I felt such an urge to throw myself in his arms and hold him tightly against me. I didnt resist, running up to him. His body froze for a moment and I could see his head moving left and right as he scanned my room. I have no idea what he was hoping to find there but after some seconds he wrapped his arms around me and burried his face into my hair, breathing in deeply. I smiled against his chest, not willing to talk just yet. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment, the feeling of his arms around me. Everything felt so right.

Too soon he pulled back. I looked up at him but his eyes were focussed elsewhere.

"Jacob?" I asked softly. He glanced at me but then diverted his eyes once more. I put a hand on his cheek. "Hey.." He looked at me once more and this time he held my gaze. I could tell he had no idea what he was supposed to do. _I _had a lot of explanation to do but I had no idea where to start. So I said the one thing that I knew was true, the one thing I knew would never change.

"I love you."

His eyes softened suddenly and he looked so vulnerable that I swore to myself I would do everything in my power to always make him happy, to never hurt him again. At that moment he was not the werewolf, not the man; he was just a boy who was in love with a girl who constantly hurt him, and who deserved so, so much better from her. I swore to myself that I would be that girl, someone he deserved, because I could not imagine my life without him.

I could not remember what happened afterwards, but the next thing I knew we were lying on my bed, but he was not as close as he always was. I couldn't stand the distance anymore, after having spent so much time away from him; So I closed the distance and rested my head on his chest. His arm came around me in an instant and he pulled me even closer as a wonderful thought crossed my mind.

Jacob still loved me.

I fell asleep sometime later, when Jacob's heart had finally slowed down to an even beating. It was a peaceful sleep, my body and my mind finally close to what they have been craving for for so long. It was such a relief to have him right beside me. It felt so right.

When I woke up, I was first in panic, wondering if I had dreamed about last night, whether all of this had really happened; but when I opened my eyes, he was still beside me, his left arm in fact around me, though maybe in my panic, I hadn't felt it. I sighed in relief and he opened his eyes slowly at the same moment. I smiled up at him.

"Hey," I breathed. He looked confused for a moment before he bent down and kissed my lips softly. His lips lingered on mine for a long moment and by the time he pulled back, I was grinning. It was probably not the time for any explanation but the words left my mouth before I could stop them.

"I'm sorry," I said. He flinched and I had a feeling this was the subject he wanted to avoid. Before he could add anything, I talked again. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm so sorry that what I did caused you so much pain; but I.. I do not regret kissing Edward." From the corner of the eye I saw that his hands were balled in fist, though he tried to hide it. I took a deep breath and continued: "If I had not kissed him, I would still be wondering whether I was being true to you, whether I was sure this was the life I wanted. I'm not trying to find myself excuses, because there isn't any excuse for my causing you so much pain; but you're here and I'm here... and that's everything that matters. I love you so much, Jacob, and I may be very ignorant of how life is made, or the 'why'. These are universal questions and if no one before me had been able to answer them, it's of no use of me trying to. The only thing I am sure of is that I love you and that there isn't anyone else on this planet with whom I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Till death do us apart, Jacob. Even if that's years or weeks away. I take it. I take you."

I put my hand on his right cheek and he leaned into it. It was so good to feel his warmth again. My sun. As hot and reassuring as ever. I wasn't done talking, however. I had to talk to him about something else: love. I told him about the day I went to the restaurant with Crystal and Angela and what I realized there, about the young couple, everything. It flowed out of my mouth like water flows in the ocean. Sometimes quickly, and sometimes slow, but without any restraint.

"Love doesn't mean posessing someone. What is written in books, what is seen on tv... this isn't the true reality of things, Jacob. I've learned this in the past few days. Love can only be love if the lovers realize that they do not posess each other. I do not posess you and you do not posess me, even though I have been trying to reconcile these two things ever since we started dating. I wanted to be yours but now I realize that this is a terrible mistake. This could only lead to failure. I love you more than anything in the world and I don't want to lose you; but if it were to happen, I would survive it."

I saw Jacob's expression change from confused to understanding and eventually devastated as he understood the true meaning of my words. I was 100% sure he was misinterpreting them, though I couldn't understand why. Had I not explained everything minutes ago? I did not take more time to wonder what he could be thinking about because I had to get it all out before I couldn't go on anymore. This was important to the future of our relationship.

"Everyone claims that they would not be able to live without their life-partner but what happens when the other one dies? Don't they learn to live with it?" He nodded slowly. "Then why the hell do all people say this?" I cried.

I could see that Jacob didn't know what to say and I had no idea why, but I had a hunch that if he didn't know me that much, he might have marked me off as hysterical.

"I don't want to say that I can't live without you and then when you die or leave me, I do the hypocrite. I love you so, so much. I can live without you; but I don't want to. Living without you would be like living without the sun. You are my sun, Jacob."

The next thing I knew I was in Jacob's arms and a sense of security had enveloped me. I felt something wet on my right shoulder and I realized he was crying.

Everything was alright. For now. I knew things would not always be like this, and that sometimes I would be totally furious with him, that things would be rough. But I would survive it. I knew I would. I had been doing a great job at that. Not only surviving, but also_ living._

**Thanks to all those who reviewed giving your opinion. It's so nice knowing what you think. **

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**Your words touch me and some reviews practically make up my whole YEAR. Thanks to all :) **

**Btw, there's only one chapter left for Moving On but I will add a companion story to Moving On on the 31st of December. This will be your gift for New Year. Lol. So those who don't have me on author alert, I think it's time to do it. Merry Christmas again and the next chapter will be up very soon. On the 26th if I get tons of reviews :D**

**So now we come to your favourite part haha. Mine as well. **

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	28. I'm Crazy In Love With You

_13 Sept 2017_

_My name is Isabella Marie Black and I cannot express the joy I feel at this moment. I am 27 years old today and how different am I from the 17 year-old girl who stumbled in Forks after the remarriage of her mother! When I look at a photograph of the time or even when I look back, I am shocked to see the difference those years have made. I was naïve but I thought I knew everything. I was stubborn, I struggled, but now I know things I didn't know at 17. Life isn't an addition of spurs of the moment, but rather, and addition of simple things and big decisions, that when added together makes up such a beautiful journey, such an imperfect one. So _human.

_I did not suffer as much as other people have so I do not know if it is the same for everyone, but I know one thing: whatever I have endured in life has brought me to this moment and I do not regret a thing. Today, on my birthday, I found out I was pregnant. This was the best present that I could have had; better than the piano from Edward, the Black Jaguar from Rosalie, the unlimited ticket to shop in Alice's shop and the hundred of books Jasper and Emmett had sent, including an old version of Beauty And The Beast, a book they knew I adored. It was even better than the tickets for a trip to Paris from Jacob. _

_Everything happened so fast that I have barely time to catch my breath; but I am so enjoying everything that's happening, because I am living my life exactly as I decided it, exactly as it should have been. _

_The Cullens are living in Tutunendo, a small town situated in Chocó, Columbia; one of the rainiest places again. They still visit from time to time. Alice, being bored at home, has opened her own shop there but has hired people to manage everything includes having contact with people and clients, because she didn't want questions to be raised about how she would still look the same after 30 years. She manages everything from the inside and is very successful. There hadn't been a doubt about that, though. Alice is Alice. _

_Jasper is working as well. He offers his services as a psychiatrist. I laughed out loud when I heard this one. According to his certificates, he has years of experience. He looks older so that's okay. It's amazing what a little make-up can do to your age. He has been working as a psychiatric for 4 years now and he is recommended by everyone knowing him. It is true that his little gift helps him a lot in his work, but I have to admit that he had always had the patience to listen to people, so this career path was perfect for him. _

_Esme is working as an interior decorator and Carlisle works as a doctor. They won't be leaving Tutunendo anytime soon. Carlisle and Esme haven't changed in the least: they are still as in love as the first time I met them, and this is what has always given me hope. _

_Edward is sharing his gift for music with others; he is a piano teacher. He only teaches a small amount of people at the same time because he is reserved, as always. He does not like to be the centre of attention. Edward is as selfless as he had always been, patient and kind. He was here today on my birthday party and we had a great time together. We do not see each other as often as before; only on big occasion, but this is to be understood. We had a conversation today, and we were talking about the course our life had taken. He said he was happy this way and that he wouldn't change a thing, even if he were given the occasion. Neither would I. _

_Rosalie and Emmett are planning their 14__th__ marriage. And no, I don't mean the amount of time they have been married to each other. I mean this will be the 14__th__ time they will be celebrating their love. This makes me laugh. I am so happy for them. Rosalie and I are much closer now; we could be considered as sisters. I am glad she has changed her hate into love because I prefer being her ally than her enemy. I saw what happened to people who crossed her path. Last year she became furious at a guy who passed his fingertips on her car. I have a motto for her: "Look, DON'T TOUCH." _

_Emmett is a teddy bear, as always. He is the one I see the most after Alice because I simply cannot be away from him for too long. That's another reason I prefer being on Rosalie's side: so that she doesn't pull her wrath on me for being too close to her husband. _

_Angela and Ben had married a year before Jacob and I. I paid them a visit last week and proudly noticed that they are as in love as always. They have a little girl, Anna, who is seven months old. She is such a cutie. _

_Crystal is also married. Guess with who? Seymour, of course. Those who said that their relationship would not last had had to take back their words. They are the perfect couple, and they sometimes still remind of Rosalie and Emmett. Crystal and Seymour both like to travel and they took it as a perfect excuse to make a world tour. They have begun one year ago and they have reached a little island named Mauritius. They were supposed to leave 2 weeks ago but they found the island so attractive that they extended their visit. They had advised us to come, both Jacob and I, and we are going to do it, but after leaving Paris. I always wanted to visit France. _

_Jacob is still messing with cars, but this time, more professionally. He builds cars, or should I say: he creates cars. He does both. He has an idea of a car he would have liked to have and then he builds it. At first I was hesitant but I ended up being happy I trusted him. He works for himself and is very successful. Guess who bought the first car he built as a professional? Rosalie, indeed! She is having fun collectioning every car he makes as well as a car in every country. _

_There are no vampires in Forks, so the pack doesn't have much to do. They have stopped phasing and they are now able to age properly. Most of them have moved out of Forks but we still see each other regularly. I simply love our reunions. _

_How can I feel anything but safe when I have a coven full a vampires and werewolves around me? I love each of these persons deeply and they know it. _

_Today after a fit of laughter due to multiples anecdotes of the past, I had looked at everyone and sighed happily. _

"_I have a crazy family," I'd told Jacob, who was standing by my side, his arm wrapped around my waist. I was leaning into him and we were watching everyone trying to regain their composure after laughing so much. Jacob had looked at me and smiled, a smiled that made him irresistible. _

"_A crazy family, indeed," He'd agreed, "but also a loving one." _

_The kiss that had followed afterwards had been pure bliss and had left me speechless. _

_As for me, I am a English teacher. I don't have much to say about it, apart that teaching is great. I teach in Forks High School itself and I try very hard to understand my students. I am friends with many of them, and it is surprising how people so easily come to you as soon as you open up a bit. I really like teaching a lot. _

_Okay so, now we're at it, why don't I tell you about Mike Newton? Haha, stop laughing. So, Mike Newton. Ah, Mike. He could be really annoying sometimes, but what I will never forget is that he had always been a friend to me. He an Angela had been the only ones to stick up with me after my "zombie mode", even after I had been ignoring them for months. _

_Mike Newton is married. Yes, at last. I even went to his wedding last year; and I caught the bouquet. Too bad I was already married. He has a beautiful wife who loves him and whom he loves back. Everyone 'awed' at their wedding because they looked so cute together. _

_About my life altogether, I can't say that I'm not happy. It's impossible to me to say that I'm not satisfied with the life I am leading. Everything is so perfect that I can't even doubt my choice anymore, that I can't even wonder whether I am causing pain to someone I love. My only hope now is that I can one day be forgiven for the pain and misery I have caused in my life, that somehow my good deeds could erase my faults. But then, isn't that the hope of millions of other people in the world?_

"Bella?" I heard Jacob call behind me. I turned around to see him approaching, a big smile on the face. I got up from my seat and threw my arms around him. He laughed and picked me up and spun me around, while I burst out laughing, the simplicity of all this making me so happy that I couldn't believe I had gotten so lucky. I felt bad, thinking of all the people that were unhappy at this moment, that hadn't gotten so much luck in all their lifetime, but then, wasn't it my duty not to brood and be happy because I _did_ have all that? Didn't I owe it to all of them?

"What were you writing?" Jacob asked as he put me down.

"Ahh… you know," I said, not really knowing how to call it.

"Your story," He concluded, kissing me on the cheek. "It's the best story I have ever read."

"You say this just because I'm your wife," I joked. He laughed.

"Not at all. I'm saying this because I'm in there."

I burst out laughing again, never getting enough of his nature to joke. We were silent a moment before I spoke, suddenly serious.

"I don't know if it's going to work, but I just want to try," I said.

"Keep trying. That's what counts. The result can only be positive," He said, approaching his face towards mine. We kissed then, and after so much time it still surprised me how he could make me feel, how nothing was wrong, as long as we were together.

"I love you," I said, pulling back; and in his eyes reflected a promise, the promise of a lifetime.

"_I love you too. So much," _I could hear him say, just by looking in his eyes.

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